Ive never been close with my dad ever. i cant remember the last time i had a proper conversation with him that lasted over 2 minutes. this isnt because he is a horrible man who i would want to block out of my life, infact he is the most kind-hearted and gental man that is accepting. when i was diagnosed with depression i had a lot of anger inside of me that i had no where to put it and because he is so gental and kind it seemed like he was easy to step on and let my anger out on. i truely dont […]
Tag:
Moods
I haven’t been diagnosed with a bipolar disorder but i am sure that i have it because it is impossible to have so many shifts of moods. It just isn’t normal. I am such an emotional brat. I can’t stand things going wrong. I had such a good week and experienced wonderful things and met so many people on this festival and now i am back to reality and to my responsilities. I just became so sad in one moment and now i feel so helpless because i can’t remember anything good to keep me on the righ path.
I am so mad at myself […]
Hello, all
I feel like my mind is falling apart. I can’t remember anything and I have no sense of self. Nothing matters and nothing makes me happy.
However, I really do want to enjoy my life. I just want to be someone else.
I want to erase my current mind and start over again.
I also think that I might have an undiagnosed mental illness because of my rapidly-shifting moods, negative internal voices, and suicidal obsessions.
I just don’t want to take medication and go even more insane.
Can anyone else relate?
I always find my self contemplating suicide at least four times a week.  But the weird thing is i’m one of the most happy/outgoing people i know i just get into theses moods where i feel nothing.  They last hours sometimes days where i’ll just sit and stare at my fan wishing i was dead.  I’ve tried killing myself twice before by hanging but both times the rope teared i failed to break my neck and only caused severe pain and would black out only to wake up to people trying to save me.
Does anyone else know what i’m going though and have any advice on how to cope with it? […]
Well, this is my first time posting on something like this. I’m not exactly sure how to start, but here goes nothing.
Hi there. I’m sixteen years old and I should be happy. I have a decent family, a decent home, a wonderful school, and a few close friends. I come from a long line of women who have a chemical imbalance which causes depression. Low levels of serotonin influence my moods negatively, according to the doctor. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this, it’s actually quite common in women/teenage girls. In my opinion? It’s just another excuse to drug us and take our […]
I want to feel. anything. I feel so fucking empty. My moods swing constantly. Half an hour ago I was jumping up and down with energy..
I want to cut, so I can feel that sweet rush flow trough my body, I want to smoke, I want to drink, have sex so freaking much…
and now I have to leave my bed to go to work. Yey 🙁
First time poster on here. Just giving it a go i guess.
First off; forgive any typo’s, my wireless keyboard is playing up and sometimes misses or adds letters. Sorry.
Jumping into it then; I’m just coming up 19, living at home with my mum though my parents are seperated. Up until my teens i had it very easy, dad was in a well paying stable job, home life was fine, nothing abusive or any other stereotypical bad background stuff, things were good. I’ve always been intelligent, school always came easily, and social interaction was second nature, leading me to bond mainly with people older than myself […]
Anyone out there having trouble living your life also?
Fuck, I just want to give up everything and die.
I’m tired of explaining everything to everyone about why I have erratic moods, why I need help, why I’m not as normal as everybody fucking thinks. I’m so miserable living my life. I basically lay down in bed, thinking of all things I have to do, shouldn’t forget to do… but I just can’t get up. I wake up so late in the afternoon that my day is halfway gone. I eat, use the bathroom, then go back to my room. In my room, I’m on my laptop, on […]
It’s too loud to act upon inspiration.
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Silence cannot be gained when humans are awake.
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Useless talking and a response of irritation.
Talking commences and whining ensues.
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Just shut up already. Â You have no point.
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Why are you still making noise.
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Go to sleep and stop hanging around me,
creating bothersome sound and pushing me around.
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Silence falls when humans sleep,
the world comes back to life while minstrels weep.
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You can probably tell I’m not in the best mood. Â If you can’t, just know that whenever I write poetry and such, I’m probably not in the best of moods. Â Not necessarily angry or depressed. Â Just not positive.
Part 1 can be read by clicking my name and selecting part one. Summary wise part one was an account of early life into middle school. Who I was and how I was and what I went through and how I held up hope. This part two will be the same but from high school.
In 8th grade things were nearly on the line. I was by this time seeing a paid therapist who seemed like she was listening but she wasn’t And when I reached 10th grade her doctor friend (who was a beauty) who gave me zoloft and kept a careful eye on me […]
Anxiety, depression, Bulimia Nervosa and cronically alone.
After seeking treatment for Comorbid major depressive disorder and Bulimia Nervosa I though I would change and consequently my life would change. Reality is a whole lot different. I constantly have suicidal thoughts, high levels on anxiety and extremely low moods.
I find my self in the grips of yet another bad Bulimia time. On a good night I eat dinner once and loose it once, on a bad night I might eat 3 and loose 3. I do it not to be thin but to ease the anxiety and stress and as an avenue for self harm. I am […]
The depression break downs I seem to experience are coming back more and more this week. Yesterday I was just so depressed I couldnt pull myself up. I got up to take my medicine and ended up just laying in the floor. It just felt like it wasnt worth getting up to survive. My fight with my dad is getting no better. Hes still choosing his wife/ex-wife (its complicated) over me. My mom keeps saying Karma comes around..he`ll regret it when hes older. Thats not good enough to me. I dont want to wait. I want him in my life now. Its just frustrating
As much as […]
I’ve been taking antidepressants for years and they work for a while but then the black moods always come back. I switched my meds again but I just don’t feel right. I wish I had the money to see a psychotherapist on a weekly basis but I don’t. I just really need some one to talk to. If I thought that shooting heroin into my veins would help me I would try it. I feel so desperate and alone. I love my daughter so much and I know that if I killed myself it would really mess up […]
I think its possible the monster energy drink is what’s causing my erratic behavior.Â
On a side note, I still can’t chew even a fucking donut. Really hurts when I do. Or a slice of pizza.Â
(805) 861-5295
Thats in case you wanna text me if youre in the vicinity of me.Â
So I just met schizojinx. Awesome girl. Um ifonlyallofyoknew: I am sorry i was being an asshole yesterday. I was angry and took my anger out on you i dont normally do that and all i can blame it on is the monster i drank. Howtosurvive: text me, sorry I fell asleep. Anyone wanna chat? My […]
Once I had a fabulous career and I was on top of the world but that all ended 5 years ago and I still can’t move on. I’ve been on different meds and they work for a while but the dark moods always return. I’m too young to retire and too old to find a decent job. I work for selfish evil people who have no respect for me. I sold my soul for a paycheck. I just want to feel good about myself but I can’t make it work. I work to make enough money to send my […]
I’m screwed up and I’m broken and I don’t know how or why I came to be like this. Nothing horrible has ever happened to me and from the outside, I have a perfect life.
But somehow, I am not normal. I am steadily going completely insane and nobody has noticed, because I keep it from them. I hide my craziness because I shouldn’t have it. I don’t deserve it.
It doesn’t make logical sense for me to feel this way, but still I know that I’m screwed up. Completely and utterly fucked up and insane.
I’m too many contradictions. I don’t make sense. I can’t even explain […]
It is my intention to leave this life.
To start, I would say that I am not in that space where suicide helplines call “pain is greater than capability to bear.” I am not doing this on the spur of a moment’s depression or of a single terrible setback. No, none of these apply to me.
Let me share my story.
(1)
I was physically abused as a child. My father had rules that were only known to him. His mercurial moods did not help. From as young as pre-school (I do not remember exactly when they started), he would beat me, with his hands, with sticks, with canes. […]
she was like a mom to me, a figure i never had before,i loved her when she was gone, and i hated her when she was around, she was either in an over protective mood were she drove me crazy, or in a cool person mood, were you could tell her anything and not be scared,i was never use to someone being so protective over me, i was always use to being kicked out of the house and left to sleep out side under a pine tree,where noone wondered or cared if i was even alive,but with her,if i came in the door a minute […]
When i was in rehab i was forced into group therapy, I was only a week into rehab so i was still feeling the effects of withdrawal, So lets just say i was not in the best of moods.
(Day 1)
When it came round to my turn, i said the words, my name is Shane and im a addict. (It didnt really feel like a big step, but it was, i see that now)
She asked me why i started doing drugs.
i said ” why does anyone do drugs, they want to escape the shityness of there live’s”(I was less cordial then)
She said “Yes, but what was it […]
Why did he ignore me?
Why didn’t he talk to me when I left a post-it note on his door?
It was just one question? If he’d be at church on Sunday?
Why does he spend so much time with ‘her”?
Why was he mad when I asked for 5 minutes of “her” time when he spends four hours with her?
Why won’t “he” and “her” watch a movie with me?
Why don’t they look happy to see me?
Why can’t I be loved?
Why does it get to be fair for them and I’m left on the outside crying for help?
Why don’t I […]
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