This feeling of, ‘wanting to just die’ has last for about 4 years now. I’ve tried hanging myself multiple times, but I always fail… I use to walk down the road hoping a car would hit me. I’ve had close near death experiences from drugs and alcohol, but wonder why I hadn’t died? That raises the question to what is my purpose on this planet. Nowadays, I have no urge to kill myself, but just hopes that something would just end me instantly. So now I try to hope everyday, that a miracle (that I think in the back of my mind won’t happen) would […]
Tag:
Near Death Experience
I havent been on here in awhile but now i need to come back because my world is turning back upside down.The depression is bad and for once theres not a real reason.I just feel drained.My meds were making me hyper in the beginning.I had a sense of happiness and peace for just a moment and now well its gone.Im back to being the me that i dont want to be.The me who feels like a failure and nobody cares.The me that feels depressed.
Im trying to wait befroe doing anything this time.Because my familys going to disneyland together and none of us […]
you know this world is truely fucked up.I cant wait til my next time to off myself.I came so close to death a couple days and i got scared as hell that i was probably die.Now i realize maybe dying and fear is a natural thing you experience when you die.Theres no way as darkness starts to cover you that you wouldnt want to turn back no matter what you say.Anyway i took twelve sleeping pills and they saved my ass.The psychiatrist is like are you going to be safe to go home and i told her not at the second but in a week […]
No one is going to read this. I don’t know why I came back here to this website. I figured I never would after I found it the first time, but here I go again… This is exactly like when I found out I was pregnant, to a T; I was going to end my life, but then, an opportunity presented itself. I saw what might be a reason to live. Judging by before, assuming that the past paints a pretty good portrait of the future, I’ll be worse off than before. If I had gone through with everything before, I wouldn’t be hurting this way […]