OK, well here’s some “noodling”. In guitar, it’s just fucking off. It’s not a song, never will be. It’s raw, it’s unedited. Basically a combination of brainstorming while doodling.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/noodles.mp3
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never will be
That moment you realize they were right. You are nothing….never will be. What am doing wrong that people see right through me. Wish bad things on me. Is it cause i am not pretty enough…or because i just not what you want. That moment everything clicks. That moment when getting on your knee’s praying to god begging him to end it become a norm. People just don’t realize how easily easily easily easily there words can influence someone decision. Like i wish that i wasn’t afraid to just do it. I know that as the time pass on me being afraid will soon fade. I […]
First off, let me say I heard what people say to me about him. I know he is controlling. Unfortunately, it is not in my nature to follow my brain. My heart speaks loud and clear to me. I love him, more than anything in this world. I chose to stay with him. I have given myself up in the process. Deep down I know he doesn’t mean to hurt me, sometimes I don’t even think he knows that he does. My depression is a topic we don’t talk about. He has made it clear that it take more than love for this relationship to […]
It’s funny how easily humans discard one simple pleasure for another, but I guess the brain wants what it wants. They say change is good, and I suppose it is, but nobody can deny the fact that in the middle of that change lies that vulnerability that can sometimes hurt or even kill you. People are so fragile, I know lots of people that say “I’m so emotionally strong” blah blah blah. Take away their confidence, give them a disfigurement or a disability, let them lose a loved one, and see how they feel after. I want everybody to have the same afflictions and I […]
what’s the point anymore? it’s not like anything will get better, might as well just leave the world. Being in care is starting to hurt me physically and mentally, maybe i should either take the leap to end my life or maybe i should just end up going to different care homes every year or month, i cant even handle my emotions in this home, i dont fit in i’m not appart of their family and never will be, should i just end it? Please someone help me i’m asking for your help please i’m begging
I’ve lost count of the years since he’s been gone, but today marks another. Today, October 25, 2014 is my soul mate’s 19 birthday. Every day I think of him and every time I do I ache to hear his voice again. I’ve been doing pretty good with my depression, even got a new boyfriend…but every time this day rolls around…my resolve breaks. I realize everything I’ve done and built is nothing and worthless. Nothing is the same without him and it never will be. I’ve never felt so miserable over someone before for so long…his loss has made me unable to care or love […]
I apologize for my actions, for being MIA so long. I had to get help. I’m not cured by far, never will be but I’m trying. Please don’t leave me. You guys helped me so much.
All these people seem so happy. And by happy, I mean at least mildly content. I used to enjoy the 4th, as well as many other things. So many people with their significant others. Years have passed since I’ve had one. I don’t blame girls. It’s me. I walk around all day depressed and utterly hopeless. I have no passion for anything anymore. At least I don’t have any kids to screw up. That’s why I used condoms back in the day. One more of me running around??? That would just be cruel. Some might find this upsetting, but I have great respect for those […]
I have become determined to prove myself and make others stop treating me like i dont matter.Im going to try a more serious attempt and gods will be done.I thought i had a reason for doing it but i dont.Apart of me says good riddance to this god awful planet apart of me says one more chance.Im getting older ill be twenty two in september.My sister will be off having a life in college.all my brothers and sisters will have left me.my parents will be dead ill be lost and confused I hate people who cry about boyfriends and girlfriends on here.i want to commit […]