I was in love with this boy. He had black hair, bright blue eyes, and scars on his arms. He held me in his arms everyday I saw him. He grabbed my hand when he saw hopelessness in my eyes. He kissed me when I felt alone. What else could I have asked for? When we were in bed naked, lying next to each other, he’d kiss the scars on my arms. The bruises on my hands. The burns on my wrist. I was in love, so deep, that I would have never imagined the day to come that he’d no longer want me. Love […]
Tag:
New Scars
at twilight
you came to me
with glistening cheecks
& red eyes
gasping
trying not to cry
you hid new scars
under long hair
as you tilted your head down
because you don’t want
them to see you
you’re crying too hard
i think you don’t realize
how much i love you
you’re a train wreck, miss
but you try so hard
to fix your messed up life
but i want you to know
that it’s not your fault
you didn’t do this to yourself
sweetheart;
at twilight you came to me
with thin hair
& an empty stomach
ribs sticking over
and a spine sinking low
-e.m.
Hot sweaty hands slowly moving from my knee.
Swallow down my unease because he promised to love me.
cling to the knife that makes the memories fade.
Old scars and new scars that are all the same.
Hand trailing higher now to my thigh.
The little girl who I once was is now so hard to find.
Burning dirty hands taking away my innocence.
I’ve never once felt whole again.
Trails of blood where his hands once were.
His burning flesh grasping and groping harder.
The blood runs down and mixes with my tears.
And I know that even after all these years,
His hands and any other mans hands are still my greatest fears.
You usually get the job done.. but maybe tonight after having somethine to drink.. you will work even better..
Goodbye clear skin, hello new scars..
The love of my life lives in Kansas….I live in North Carolina. We have been off and on for almost a year now. We got back together about 2 months ago then he broke up with me. I fell back into cutting and pills. He swore he didn’t like anyone else, it was just the distance. He asked out my best friend 2 days after he told me that. I want to fucking hate him so much….but I can’t. He doesn’t know I know. I promised him I wouldn’t cut or get high…..yet my arm is filled with new scars and my pill bottles are […]
well, hi my name is Pia and i’m 14. It’s my first time that I write down .. my “stuff”. Â so I will just start how everything began.
i started first time cutting myself in 2009 i think, i wasn’t that long ago that my grandpa died. my mom changed, or i changed. i dont know. anyways my mom and me got big stress, i told her the first time that i hate her and i got the first time the feeling that i don’t belong here. I cut myself the first time.Â
From now on, i cut myself everytime when i got problems. When i cried […]
I am fucked. It s not that I realized that just now but maybe at this moment i am completely aware of my state. i am partly proud because i am not trying to kill myself at least not today. it kind of hurts when you can’t change the fact that you don’t have anyone around you except your parents which are currently not here. i know this sounds pathetic but i really wish i have somebody who loves me for me, somebody who would hug me without me asking for it. i am at a really bad state now and i would like to […]
People stare at me like im weird..a freak..an outcast..when they see my scars. You dont think about the scars when you cut do you? You just want to see the blood pour down your arm and drip onto the floor. It distracts you from the real pain..whatever your pain may be. They watch you from behind friends as you pick up a knife to cut your steak…whisper when you paint your nails and toenails black..laugh when you wear long sleeves in the summertime..in florida..just to cover up these scars..that forever remind you of what you lost..but i..i wouldnt trade mine for the world..I’d trade only […]