I get ignored just like usual. If i want to go out anywhere or do anything I just seem to go by myself these days. If i go with family members it just turns into one huge screaming match by the end of it. I know my sis is graduating high school and that’s great and all… But it feels like if i say anything people just get irritated and annoyed. I’m trying to stay positive and happy with my music and thoughts but i know i am slowly slipping. The guy i really like. we have so much in common and weve been friends […]
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Had such a terrible day today. I’m really upset right now. So what do I do, proceed to get trashed. I don’t want to feel anything right now. The day started out just fine and my mood was pretty level as well. Work then kicks my ass and I have to remain calm and collected at work considering I care for people and all. I get on a group I don’t know but that’s really no big deal or so I think. A few hours in anxiety kicks in. My routine is off, I feel as if I have no clue what I’m doing. Then […]
How do I post a link to a YouTube video? I have no clue. Help! 🙂
At this point I feel like I’m just seeing how many days I can survive until I finally decide to kill myself.
I’ve tried so many things over the years..meds, in-patient, therapy, groups, coping skills. I’m not better and now I’m still in horrible withdrawal from medications, too. I’m still in post-acute withdrawal after 9 months off all meds and I’m still a shitty person. I’m trying so hard to change, but you cannot take back the past. I hate myself and I hate life.
Why does somebody else (your parents) get to decide that you exist, but then it’s your responsibility to function and do well […]
Which one hurts more? Being rejected or them not answering and ignoring you?
For me it’s not answering. With rejection you at least have an answer. You know they are not interested. But when they don’t answer what the hell does that mean? Are they repulsed by you? Do they not know? Did you scare them away? You have no clue what happened and you are thinking the worst. What did you do wrong? Are you not worth an answer? It’s a simple yes or a no… I don’t know is even better then not answering…What the fuck did I do to deserve no answer..?
Why are boys so stupid? For all the guys reading this, I would love for you to explain it to me. I have possibly fallen head over heels for someone, and they have no clue. They don’t even like to talk to me. Maybe I’m the stupid one. Eh, it’s probably him. Anyone, if anyone has an idea why they are so dangerously stupid, I would so like to hear it. Thanks for your totally not suicidal related help. Sorry for this post, it will probably be deleted in a little while.
I don’t know what to do anymore… I’ve been suffering from clinical depression for about two and a half years now, and nothing that i have ever tried has ever been able to help. The incessant feelings of pure worthlessness, self-hatred, and pure relentless sadness are becoming very overwhelming at this point in time and I don’t foresee it getting any better anytime soon. I’m just sad, all the time… and its so bad sometimes that I just find myself crying for hours, and i am tired of it… tired of all of it… I feel like a burden and a problem to everyone around […]
I saw my best friend today for the first time in about a few months and seeing her was the best and being able to hug her again was the most amazing feeling but i promised her i would never leave until i at least saw her once then i would most likely leave. Now i’m having second thoughts but i really want to leave. I have no clue what to do….
It is not so much that I want to die, it is that I have no will to live. I should feel very blessed with everything that I have in my life. I have an excellent job and live in a beautiful home that I built with my own two hands. I achieved a lot of success by the time I was 25. My problem is that I now no longer have a purpose to live. With no purpose, what is the point? I am so alone and depressed all the time. I feel like I am taking up space on this earth that is […]
1. i definitely need more clothes but i fucking hate shopping. its such a pain in the ass not gonna lie
2. life is really exhausting right now and im not really sure why
3. i have this model due tuesday and i have no clue what to do
4. i have the chance to get into a thing but ill have to miss a review session
5. i have a project due in a month but ill probably drop out because whatever i cant do it
6. i have to write this thing for my friend and i havent even started
7. people fucking […]
It’s a typical question I’m normally asked. I normally say nothing. But wanna know the truth? I don’t know what’s wrong. I honestly don’t. I could be completely happy then boom. I’m a mess. I feel like I’m going to cry 99% and I have no clue why. I constantly feel like shit and for once I just want to be happy and stay happy. But something always ruins my mood and I have no clue what it is. For some reason I can’t stay happy.
I think about it everyday. I’m not really sure if I’m depressed or just sad all the time. I never do anything right. I’m the type of person where if my teacher gave the whole class a pop quiz everyone else would score a 100% and I would be that odd ball to score a 90% or even a 80%. I know what your probably thinking. An 80% isn’t even that bad. But you get my point. I fail at everything. I even think my own father hates me. I could be all happy with my friends at school but the minute I get home […]
I am terrified of my parents. I don’t know why. They’re good people, I just hate telling them anything. Whenever I get a grade back, I never tell them unless it’s really terrible or unless they haven’t seen a grade in the class in a long time. Like, sometimes I want to show them a grade, good or bad. But I get so much anxiety from just showing them; approaching them and saying ‘hey I got my —– test back’. I get so much anxiety that I wake up during sleep and my stomach gets that nervous feeling. I have no clue why. I just […]
Today in 4th period I was fine, then all of a sudden I started getting really antsy and I got really nervous. I have no clue why, I asked my teacher if I could go to the nurse to take my medication (I don’t take medication) and she asked me if that’s where I was really going, obviously I said yes. But I went walking around and tried to calm myself, but instead I got angry. I started punching the walls and I started punching myself, I have no clue why. So for 45 mins I went walking, then I went back to class and […]
Im depressed. I told my mom that, and she made me start therapy. but i hate to say this, but its to late. She has no clue i cut, or have suicidal thoughts. I havent cut in about a month. And today is Christmas, so i should be happy right? Wrong. My new sister got more than i did, and im starting to just feel very down again. Everything would be so much easier for everyone if i was just dead. Im always in the way, and i can never be happy. I have no friends. All of them turned on me and i cant […]
Well ever since sixth grade I have felt alone. Even though I have a best friend. half the time I don’t think she wants to be friends with me. I am getting to the point where I am close to giving up again. I cant keep feeling like a nothing. I always feel worthless and alone. I have no clue that else to do anymore. Nobody at my school likes me, so instead they pick on me and tease me. I tried telling the teachers but nothing helped or worked. I cant even ride the bus anymore because I can’t handle the teasing that happens […]
The guy I thought I loved, well I didn’t love him. That guy I considered my best friend, he wasn’t ever truly my best friend. The relationship I thought I had the one that felt like magic, I didn’t have one it was all an illusion. I had hope, faith, I still fucken believed like some idiot. I still had feelings for him, now that part of me, that hope, those dreams and beliefs are all dead and gone. He cheated on me with her who knows for how long and they are dating. All I can do is laugh because he couldn’t let me […]
I get told I’m fat. I weigh 130 with a height of 5’6.5″ I now eat small portions, try not to eat anything in between meals, and I go to bed at night and dream of the food I could eat. I get up from the table and feel so hungry. I want to eat so much more but I can’t let myself eat. I have a congressional debate meet this friday-saturday. We can’t wear bracelets…. I will be so vulnerable I’m not looking forward to it. I got told today that I work too hard and need to stop trying so hard. I study […]
There are so many things I want to say to the do-gooders who come here…. All I will say is this… People will be heartbroken if I die? So, I should continue to live my life so others aren’t hurt. Are you kidding me? That’s partly why I am here now… If you have no clue about thus type of suffering, please don’t say anything. Sorry. I’ve just had it.
Tonight is awful. I’m close to tears, I feel very alone and unwanted. For the first time in months, I’ve actually considered hurting myself. I know that won’t help, but it’s so tempting. Since losing my therapist and many friends 3 weeks ago, I fell back hard into my already bad depression, making things worse.
I have no clue what to do anymore. I question myself. Am I good? Does my past make me bad? Am I loveable? School gets under my skin. Also, my impending birthday is looming over me like a giant, and my past is a scary dark forest around me.
I’m just lost. […]
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