Tag:

no hope

Do you have to be mad to want to die?

by Batterypowered 2/8/2016

written by Batterypowered

A friend of mine said to me, “You don’t want to kill yourself boy. You have to be mad to do that.” It made me laugh, firstly because he has known me for years and still can’t accept I am not always the jovial, erudite man he meets down the pub. Secondly, I think suicide, far from being mad as a concept, is a totally logical response the the distress, disfunction and depression I experience.

Here is the argument. I have swung between depression and total mania since birth. The depression makes me agoraphobic, professionally and socially unreliable, totally disassociated and lacking all motivation. Depression destroys […]

2/8/2016 0 comment

Yea…I’m pretty much done.

by blackblake 2/4/2016

written by blackblake

My entire life I have suffered with depression. Iv never not known to be depressed. Both of my parents are hard-core alchoholics. They have been my entire life. I never had many friends growing up. I was a very ugly teenager. I had a big nose and severe acne. Now Im left with severe acne scars. I am a hideous human being. I look like a dam ogre. On top of that, I also have a chronic debalitiating disease. That has no cure. It leaves me in chronic pain. There is literally no hope for me. I give up. Im just scared to actually do […]

2/4/2016 3 comments

Im done, im not taking this pain anymore!!!

by 2717_ 1/25/2016

written by 2717_

Im done with this. i cant take it, this is more than what i can take, ive been depressed too long, ive been pretending that im happy too long, ive been hating myself too long, im horrible in every way, in every way, im fat af, im ugly af, im useless af, worthless af, i have no hope on me, i lost my mind already, and no one notice, to be honest, no one cares, and honesly i dont care either… Im just waiting for death.

1/25/2016 1 comment

To Deadmanliving… I couldnt comment

by tiredthoughts 12/31/2015

written by tiredthoughts

I too was rejected and friendzoned for most my life.. I know those feelings and im a stick no muscle. I think im confident. Maybe im not.. But internet sites makes meeting and dating easier. Even for ppl like you and I. I believe in the words “just keep trying”. I always been told someone will come along.. Or you’ll meet someone blah blah. It totally affect my thoughts and feelings towards how i looked at myself and how i thought others viewed me.. Im in my 30’s single, living with parents and unemployed. Im only going to hope that you keep trying even when […]

12/31/2015 6 comments

I’m back to wanting to die. Same reason, there’s no hope.

by tiredthoughts 12/26/2015

written by tiredthoughts

I’ve been putting it off the suicidal thoughts or attempts. I just wake up and live everyday. Hoping, waiting.. For what I know will never come. I relive every possible discussion, decision or thoughts or reasons that I had in my mind that led me to this point. Hope and support that ppl of sp bring. I just live and don’t like it. I try and forget, but I don’t. The memories are trapped inside me of a life with someone that will never happen again. I try and do what support suggests, ask myself if theres any hope. And I know there isnt. Doesnt […]

12/26/2015 2 comments

My fault

by nozmoking 12/19/2015

written by nozmoking

The Christmas depression is here. But it is worse this time. Much worse. My daughter at least until last year was still interested in getting a tree put up and putting together some kind of meal on Christmas day. But not this year. We don’t really “celebrate” the holidays much anyway but this year I feel like I have become such a burden for everyone that they just don’t want to deal with things. I don’t ask much of the two of my kids that live with me – I don’t go out really anymore but we share the basic expenses. My son takes care […]

12/19/2015 1 comment

How Do I Stay Positive

by tteia 11/6/2015

written by tteia

These past few days I’ve been trying to stay as positive as I can. Thinking positive thoughts, trying to smile more (even if I don’t feel like smiling)But, it’s getting harder and harder to keep smiling, when all I want to do is the exact opposite. I try to say positive quotes in my head but it’s like my negative thoughts over power my positive ones, and I end up listening to them. How do I stay positive, when my mind is trying so hard to fight me? How do you guys stay positive? What makes you smile, when you’re depressed, and have no hope? […]

11/6/2015 6 comments

Courage

by Shards 10/28/2015

written by Shards

It takes a lot of courage to end your suffering

and even more courage to live through it

…. unfortunately, I have the courage for neither

Hello, everyone. First post here. Found this site about a week ago, and have been reading quite many posts since then. Maybe I should introduce myself… I am a man, just below 40, living in one of the Scandinavian countries. My life has been ok overall, aside for some suicide thoughts in my late teens, but I guess I was never serious about it then. Up until early august, my life has been fine, until it crashed completely. Even the day before […]

10/28/2015 9 comments

Tired

by justa_girl 10/23/2015

written by justa_girl

I just want my life back.. Swim team, varsity soccer captain, cheer squad, student council… A perfect boyfriend, and perfect friends. I had a life, and an amazing future to look forward to.

The thing is, I was amazing at faking it. I put on a smile and didn’t let anyone ever see it fade. And now too much has happened and I’m exhausted from lying and being someone I can’t be anymore.

I want my mom back.

I want to be that blissfully happy teenager who had no worries. Instead of this depressed anxiety-ridden maniac that walks around like the living dead. I might be alive, but […]

10/23/2015 5 comments

What an empty night

by wndozh8er 10/19/2015

written by wndozh8er

Sorry I haven’t posted here in awhile. It’s October and the autumn leaves are falling and it’s getting cold again. I think seasonal change is bringing back a lot of the trauma from last year due to the environment being similar. I been in West Virginia for 13 months now. I’m alone, empty, and dead inside just like I was this time last year, just like I was this time 10 years ago. No one to hold, no one to share my life with, no hope for the future really.

While I’m still not suicidal, I often wonder if that post psychiatric ward hope was just […]

10/19/2015 3 comments

Back from the hospital

by whydoiwantto 10/18/2015

written by whydoiwantto

I’m back home from the hospital. I combined a lot of xanax with alcohol but it didn’t work. Now I just feel weak and tired all over again. They gave me some sedatives so I just feel tired now. Tired and angry, angry at myself that I was unsuccessful. I feel no need to go on, no hope at all. I just want to disappear. I feel worthless because I am worthless.

10/18/2015 5 comments

almost time

by whoaminow22 9/20/2015

written by whoaminow22

my life has no hope. I plan on commuting suicide very soon. I am going to take all of my 30 200 mg seriquil and then sit on my car while it is running in the garage. Of the drugs don’t kill me hopefully the carbon monoxide will. My only fears are hurting my son and my mom. My son will be 3 in October, so he wont really understand. I know that my dad and my step mom will adopt him. They have asked about it before and I am still living. I’m 23, I suffer from extreme depression and social phobia. I can’t […]

9/20/2015 8 comments

I need a hope to live

by numb04 9/16/2015

written by numb04

I have been terribly sick for 8 years. For this I couldn’t finish my study. Its a complicated sickness. The worst is every time i hope this is gonna be fine i am back to zero. I have gone through several surgeries. It was painful. I thought if I try to have a better life , a normal life I may have one day. Now I am all alone here, no family, no friends . A guy loves me, we are married for more than two years but we can’t be together because of this goddam sickness. I wanted to leave all these and go […]

9/16/2015 1 comment

When Is Suicide The Rational Choice?

by thehusk 9/6/2015

written by thehusk

I think most people have some idea of a ‘worthwhile life’. Maybe it involves being in love. Raising a family. Or close friends. Fulfilling work. Expressing yourself creatively. Or just enjoying yourself – sex, drugs, rock & roll (or whatever else floats your boat.)

But for some of us, those meaningful things seem out of reach, or we’re prevented from enjoying them by obstacles. Perhaps we believe ourselves incapable (or undeserving) of love or friendship. Unable to connect with others. Or we’re crippled by extreme social anxiety, and unable to function. Weighed down by feelings of loss or loneliness. Maybe we suffer from chronic pain and […]

9/6/2015 12 comments

i think i know how

by Mark_1981 8/4/2015

written by Mark_1981

I have read The Peaceful Pill and I think I know how I’d like to go. I won’t post it but knowing the how somehow gives me a slight sense of peace in amongst all the chaos.

A very small part of me tells me to keep going, struggle on. A mountainous part of me however speaks to the contrary telling me that my struggle has been long (and it has) with no hope of living any sort of life away from the angst that consumes me. I have posted before parts of my struggles. They don’t begin to explain the war that exists inside of […]

8/4/2015 3 comments

Tired and alone

by alone89 8/2/2015

written by alone89

Just tired and alone. No reason to do anything. No love, no life, no hope. Nothing.

8/2/2015 1 comment

Fight or Flight

by WhiskeyGirl 8/1/2015

written by WhiskeyGirl

I have been a fighter all my life, molested as a child and growing up in extreme poverty in Flint, Bullied constantly and then raped when I was 15. Depression has never been a stranger to me, but I always wondered whether it was circumstantial or a chemical imbalance. I met my boyfriend of 7 years in high school and attended college, I even sought help from a psychiatrist who prescribed me Seroquel and told me I had Bipolar Disorder, the pills made me a zombie for 5 years but for once in my life my insomnia went away. Fast forward to now, my boyfriend […]

8/1/2015 4 comments

death my nearest destination

by unloveable9296 7/27/2015

written by unloveable9296

I dont know what to do I’m scared of death because I have so many dreams but without him my dreams seem to have no meaning.i have no hope for the future.i know you will tell me that no girl should give her life to a guy but I have he has now become a part og me and now he’s jist drifting away from me…I cant live without him, if I jave to share him then I’d rather die and feel no pain

I’ve tried it before but instead of me dying I ended up losing my baby unaware that I was carrying and I […]

7/27/2015 2 comments

Emotions

by struggle street 7/13/2015

written by struggle street

I just got hit with a wave of emotion. I am really hard on myself, it started with spending too much money, then beating myself up, then calling myself a piece of shit. Then in the afternoon today I thought I haven’t spoken to anyone all day. I feel really alone, my life is a mess I don’t see any way out. I need work , I need to get off this small amount of opiates. I need some thing, I need total change but I don’t think its going to happen. I’ve lost every thing to live for and might have to give away […]

7/13/2015 1 comment

Knots in my stomach

by disgusting 7/4/2015

written by disgusting

That’s how I feel, every day. I hate holidays. I could go run around with the guy I like again, but I’m exhausted. I’ve basically been “partying all weekend” starting on Thursday – the day I had set to kill myself, but at least minute was given the ok to come hang out, and it’s not really my thing to run around like a teenager and party. On the other hand, one of the many things I’ve loved about him is that I feel younger with him. He’s 6 years younger than me, but he has the energy of a teenager and at 37, I […]

7/4/2015 2 comments

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