I cant seem to face the shame of my past. Stupid decisions and bad choices lock me up in the house. I have no job. I have no purpose and I dont care enough to change it. Ill lose my house soon. Thats when itll come down to it.
Im so tired of all of this. Im blessed that i have a roof over my head. Im just tired of struggling in every capacity of my life. I dont have a method or else id be dead. I’m doing my best but genuinely what i really want is deaths sweet embrace. The permanent insignificance that ive lived my entire life is so all encompassing. Even here i feel alone. I feel alone everywhere. I dont belong. I felt belonging for such a short time so long ago i dont even know if it happened…. I’d give anything for a time machine or a […]
Is this thing I’m living even worth calling a life?
Where the fuck is this thing going?
Where do I see myself 10 years?
I see myself a depressed fucked up doctor slaving it out for my family that I love so very much, and still floating around in this world not even connected with my own body, just to keep them happy.
When the fuck am I going to do something for me?
What do I want for me?
I WANT TO DIE!!
That’s what I want for myself. I don’t want this thing called life anymore. It serves no purpose for me. I find no joy whatsoever in being alive. […]
isit just me I feel like I have no purpose being here on earth I feel alienated I’m just floating though life like a leaf in the wind no real goals just making a mess of things no real meaning to be a live I no life is what u make it but I really haven’t got the energy to keep fighting we all end up in the same place anyways rich poor Healthly etc isit because I’m depressed anxious and suicidal and il been researching it sounds like iv got depersonalisation is that why I’m floating not connected to my body or isit just […]
To let you all know that think about suicide that life is for a reason. I have suffered from brain cancer and depression; and I thought that my life was worthless. But I started to see a therapist and I took medicines. Now I am in school and I help anyone with common issues.
So I was 5 years old and I was told that I had cancer. I have had lots of treatment, with medicine with lots of needles. So I had 4 years of treatment and I have been in remission ever since. Then after being a 6 years cancer survivor, I started […]
Why do I find my morality, my principels to be so important. Is it because it is who I am, my very essence or protecting my pride from becoming like those who disgust me. Why do I care about others if I believe everything has no purpose, that our constant struggle is meaningless? I guess one could say that reality is based off one’s perception making any belief a truth. Although the world is non-existent to me those around me seem to see it. Maybe I’ve been sitting in the dark too long, maybe if I left my eyes open long enough I could see […]
Is there ever really a perfect time to do it? I think we all wait till things get so bad that we completely run out of resources and patience – and then we do it. I always thought that’s how things are. That’s what I learned suicide is – running out of the resources to cope.
But what if I am at that point? All I think about is suicide. All I want is death. I have nothing to live for. I have recently run out of every reason to live. The one person that gave me hope for a future, gave me reason to believe […]
I was standing outside staring at a tree and realized that tree was doing more for the world than I am. There’s no reason for me to be here I have nothing to offer. My life’s a joke.
Physics, Nihilism, injustice, crack, alcohol, baseball, should we really help people??? Won’t they just have a more exaggerated experience of the human condition?
35 year old white male….educated, athletic, comedic, drug addict, truth searcher, lazy, the average person would say I have so much to offer…..I see there is no purpose, but I know many are in pain….., I really want to know if people who really believe they are happy have a gene switched on that allows them to believe their own lies, somehow my father understands all of this but is content with life…..playing golf and gambling….I honestly don’t know how he does it, I guess I am afraid to die since I have been suicidal since I was 10. I can make anyone laugh, make […]
From everything I’ve known; my job, family, and the only life I’ve ever known. I feel so stuck, no purpose or motivation to do anything anymore, and I’m seriously contemplating leaving the States for Canada even though there’s nothing for me there (job, home, or friends). I’d be a stranger in a strange land, but even that sounds more appealing then what I’m facing right now. I just want to getaway even if I’m running away from my problems; does anyone else ever feel this way?
I’ve made too many mistakes. My life is like a painting that’s been painted over again and again, so much that the errors, the repulsive missteps can’t be hidden anymore. It’s just a big, hot mess. I never knew what Selective Service was until I was too old to register. I waited to start college too late in life. That’s how I found out. I was filing for aid and discovered a problem that I would eventually realize would keep me from ever attending college. I can never get federal aid. My credit has never been good enough to qualify for private loans. So, that’s […]
I just need to pick a date already. I could do next week on the 11th, it’ll make it a year since the rape. I could do the last day of 2015, or on my birthday in January. I can’t be here anymore. I have absolutely no purpose in life. I think about suicide every single day. I wake up thinking about it it’s the only thing that consistently stay on my mind. I’m in school but I’m pretty much failing to the point where I’m on academic probation. If I do bad this semester there kicking me out. I used to do so well. […]
I just feel so empty..I’m so tired of the same bullshit lines.
“It’s a phase, it’ll pass.”
“It get’s better.”
It doesn’t fucking feel like it. Nothing will ever be okay. I’m just a waste of space and I have no purpose on this planet. I wish I could just disappear. I wish death was an easy process because this life doesn’t seem worth living. No one honestly gives a shit. I tried to reach out for help but I’m just laughed at. Ignored even.
“You don’t even have anything to be depressed about.”
“Just get over it.”
I wish it was that easy. I hate feeling this way. I […]
I feel dead, physically, being so tired, can barely stay awake, and being in so much pain that I can barely move. I fear losing my jobs even though my bosses of one job work in another location from me now, but I know I’m dozing off all the time. It takes 2 muscle relaxers now to get any effect, and I’ve barely touched them. Remember, I asked for the rx to kill myself initially, but since I’m not just yet, I’ve used them sparingly. My back hurts worse than ever, my legs hurt like hell, my knees hurt like hell, the bottoms of my […]
I feel like life holds no purpose for me. I want to die. Everyday i wake up and ask myself is it over. Why did God make me so inadequate? I hate being here. So many times I’ve tried to end my life. They don’t work. I cut but the hurt still finds its way back. I can’t live with feeling unloved. Unheard. Misunderstood. Alone. Confused. Hated. It hurts being me. I smile but no one knows how much it takes to do that. I make it look easy but its not. I just need someone to help before i make the next step. I […]
I have no purpose. I have never contributed to anybody’s life. Everyone abandons me over time. Can’t blame them really.
I just don’t want to live in this world anymore, I have no purpose so why still live it…
thanks for the support but im breaking down.. To people I love “Sorry I exist”
Bye, I guess…Good dreams
This is my second post on here. My first was a rant about my life. I just need a friend! Oh my god! I’m so sick of being lonely all the time. If I really pushed myself, I could get a job, stop being homeless, blah blah blah… but for what reason? I have nobody. Nobody cares. I cut myself, burn myself, drink to the point I pass out, and and I fucking hate myself so much.
I threw everything away and sacrificed college for a family that pushed me away. I lost my friends to my depression. I’ve tried replacing them with self harm and […]
I sometimes like to imagine a reality in which there was an unwritten and unspoken method of first-person perspective observation by unnamed third parties; an ability realized by only a select few. I like to imagine myself being watched by an external third party; they would be witnessing my actions (within a limited window of time, usually less than a minute per viewing session) through my eyes.
Usually, the person being observed would be unaware of the perceptual intrudance, but in my mind I always have a sense – like a background, quiet tingling sensation in the back of my mind – of when I’m being […]
Im scared. Im so scared of death but at the same time I want, I need to die. Theres no purpose for me in life. My grades are droping in school, cant sleep or concentrate on anything. IM nothing more then a ghost, 3/4 dead and im scared im gonna break( if I haven’t already.) and then ill be gone, 6 ft under. I most likely wont even make it to 16, I wont have a husband or have kids. why? Because im a goddamn coward. It would be so easy to just give up, no more pain, or depression…