That’s it. Â It will be a mercy killing if I off myself. Â I’ve been pondering/obsessing over this for 6 years now and I think I’m getting to the point where I need to make a decision or live another 60 years of torment. Â I can’t keep putting this off.
Tag:
Obsessing
For all my life I have just passed from one painful absurdity to the next. And all along I thought, woe is me, I haven’t any luck in life; a life of a boy who was intellectual, creative, loving, and self-aware. As I came to adulthood, I came to the melancholic realization that I am none of these things, nor have I ever been. Even with every shred of sorrowful heartbreak and death of a loved one or a cherished emotion, from every punch in the groin to every stab in the neck, the truly, most dangerously negative force was my own sense of self. […]
Could this help anyone?
After a head injury one feels troubled for many years and ones thoughts can be dark.
A therapist was explaining to me that one needs to redirect ones thoughts and make new brain patterns or ones thoughts keep going to the same dead end of negativity.
She said just do one thing a day to start.
If you can start by one little step at time to start redirecting ones thoughts thats helping to make a new pattern – a new future for you.
She explained thoughts like sheep trails which often lead no where – so negative thoughts take us to dead ends and […]
It’s been a while since i’ve been here….i wonder if that’s a good thing or not. Still, im glad there’s some place i can vent all of this.
Really, i don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want there to be a name for this feeling…Im not sure what i should do next.
I still cut. I don’t know why they just set it aside….im trying to ask for help, really i am. It took a lot for me to take that step and ask, but all they did is ignore it and act like it doesnt matter if i disappeared from the face of the planet. […]