My telling you on the nightline service “I am not that strong of a person†translates to “I am going to kill myself, but I don’t want you to lock me up so I won’t say it out loud and commit myself.â€Â I don’t know how or when. As soon as possible. As soon as I can find the right way. Pills won’t do it…I’ve even heard cyanide won’t do it unless you are a chemist and know how to brew it just right. I envy that old couple that took their life together sipping cyanide from their teacups. Jumping in front of a train […]
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Old Couple
Stand fast, Hold your ground, You’re doing great kid, Can’t you hear the crowd, Everyone’s singing, Yeah you’re singing with me….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
I remember, The Tuesday before I got admitted.. I was walking down a street going to buy a rope. I looked across the street and this old couple were walking together.. Apart from he was in a wheelchair hooked up to what looked like oxygen. It was a sad sight.. But I kept going.. To see a mother with her children.
All just got me thinking. And now? I’ve found out something else that has literally driven me crazy. I just want my happy back.
Stop blaming yourself Nat, You couldn’t have possibly done that. Don’t listen to them.
You were doing great Nat, But nothing lasts forever, […]
Despite the positivy i spread, dispite the smile i’m wearing when i leave home, or talk to a friend. Despite my constantly moving forward. Despite the bits of myself I share, the structure and advice i used to give. Despite living through unbeatable odds. Despite it al;l I still would like to die. I do not want to see the pain or happiness of tomorrow, I do not want to see the dog that chases it’s tail, the man that holds the door for his wife, the old couple struggling to walk into a store for food. I do not want to see another […]