I had a good day today. I went for a walk, came home and cooked lunch for myself. If I have good days like these, it means I won’t be killing myself for a very very long time. If all goes well, I’ll be an old woman when I die, even if by suicide.
Tag:
Old Woman
u hurt
me. be greatful i tolerate ur ignorance. cherlyl.
u old woman. no i dont forgive u even though iknow how much ur hurting inside . honeslt y theres nothing u could have said that could have made me feel worse u useless *****
I am a 32 year old woman who still lives at home with her parents, been made bankrupt and had had two relationships (both under a year).
Up until 3 years ago I had my clinical depression under control, but then it all went to shit! Something happened at work and I hit lower than rock bottom.
I went from thinking I had lots of friends, good at my job, happy and in control, go being locked in a secure mental ward, leaving my job, losing all my friends and was left with no one or nothing!
People think committing suicide is so easy and its […]
Everyday I dream of winter. Â The warm blankets wrapped around me, while I stare out at the dark moonlit night, watching snowflakes drift past my window. Â This saddening feeling, of utter loss, while the sky and ground alike form puddles. Â Bending and twisting, falling and repeating, tears roll down my tired, worn out cheeks. Â The door closed behind me, the window open wide. Â A cold wind twists my hair about, ending in a messy curl about my neck. Â Memories slowly happen again before my eyes, reliving past joys. Â This old woman, with tears still in her eyes, smiles sweetly and warmly, before saying goodbye to […]
That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done! I just got myself locked up as a prisoner for 3 fucking days… put on a med… it was fucking retarded. My therapist and psycho dr came in each day for like 5 fucking minutes… after 24 hours I signed myself out and they still wouldn’t let me leave. It all was a fucking joke and a fucking lie. So I just started lieing to them and told them I was not suicidal and to leave me the hell alone. I called my doctor a dick b.c. he was being so short with me and being sarcastic. […]
it ain’t cutting it with your dame “I’m a Christian” Ius hypocritical and I’m not buying it , You go out and Fuck anything and EVERYTHING that walks and then u get on my case about Esteban Whom I’ve been with over a Year and a Half, I Have a Better relationship Then u Will EVER have!!!…. You Go and use God on EVERYTHING ! U dated the drug addict then the Drunk then the Crack head I told u “he’s bad he’s only using u for money to buy his Drugs, aren’t u Fornicating ? Ain’t that bad if ur so called Godly?” […]
I am dying inside in a sort or agony/hell/torture that is literally unimaginable! I have the perfect opportunity right now to end it! I won’t have this opportunity again for several days! I could be setting up the equipment right now as we speak and be gone within a hour. BUT NOOOO, I don’t have the fucking balls enough to go thru with it! I’m too afraid of the pain which I know will be over within 5-20 mins. The pain I have been feeling for the last 12 years by far out weighs the pain of hanging myself. I KNOW THIS! BUT I STILL […]
The unfairness of life has become unbearable, and so I need to end it.Â
My beautiful mother became ill, bed ridden for 7 years. The routine for taking care of her, was to clean her, feed her, even wiped her soil, everyday for 7 years. I was a 12 year old girl when it started. Then when I turned 15, I worked as a janitor just to put food on the table and buy medicines, hopeful that she would get better. But she didn’t, and died a withered shell of a person. Then, my father became ill too. The same thing happened for another 7 years. […]
I am a 39 year old woman. I have a roof over my head, four cats who love me and a fiance who begs me to move here from my home in Albany. I long to be a part of a family again. WE are both addicts though and I fear this will be done in vain. Im not sure what’s worse though…going home to my empty apt. where my children don’t live due to my depression, it’s dirty as I have given up the desire to clean, I don’t wash the way I did, make up and professional haircuts don’t […]
I remember the cold knife under my throat. I remember the masked man on top of me, thrusting, panting and his red eyes, forcing me to look at him all the time. I remember the hysterical laughter after it happened, when I went to see my friends. This date no one knows about it except of the shrink. I am now a twisted 25 year old woman/girl.. still fighting the demons and oh so willing to give up.
It all happned 3 days prior to my 18th birthday. Somewhere not far from home, where the water is always cool during summer and shady places. Somewhere I […]
I’m not sure why I am writing this, but I’ve never written any of this down before and maybe it will help, even if no one else comments on it or even reads it…
I’m a 26-year-old woman. For the past couple of months, I’ve thought about killing myself on a daily basis. I will look at a blank wall and visualize my blood splattered against it. I will imagine throwing myself in front of a fast moving train while on my way to work. I do not consider myself depressed. It just seems the only logical conclusion.Â
I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful […]