I told my sister that I want to die before I’m 16 and she said I REALLY need to get therapy and maybe me being in a MENTAL INSTITUTION would actually HELP me. All my sister ever does is undermine my problems. And thinks I don’t really want to kill myself
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Older Sister
My life has no meaning. I spend almost all my time doing nothing, when i try to do something different, i fail and feel like i can;t do anything. since i was 6 years old, my older sister would of called me names and yelling to me im incapable and retarded. It might sound like it’s not so bad but then again i have my mother yelling and shouting to me how much of horrible daughter. she tells me how my brother and sister are better and that she would of never got me in this world if she knew what i was going to […]
I am still alive. now at the age of 21 looking back on what i have been trough and it starts making sense again.
I reached to the breaking point again and remembered this site from long ago and was thinking i should spill my thoughts here.
I never told much about my self from the few posts i made here and now i feel is the time to reveal some details about myself just so things would seem more clearly.
so what to begin with? since when i was a little kid our family had lots of problems. we never were a big family, […]
When I was 8 year old, I thought I was living a perfect life. I had both parents living with me. I had a older brother and older sister who took good care of me. I thought everything was going alright… I now know what a lie I was living.
My Dad was a alcoholic. My siblings tried their hardest to hide this fact from me. It worked and I didn’t know much about my Dad. I only knew that he comes home from work at night to sleep which was a lie. He was unemployed. He came home every night to take my brothers money. […]
I don’t want to die. But I think of endless ways to kill myself. I dont try to think of ways it just comes to me. It scares me and my body shakes and i have a panic attack so bad i can’t breath. My mother gets on to me for a lot of stuff. when she gets onto me if i say anything back at all, even that i didn’t mean to or something, I get introuble at for talking back, if i say nothing i get yelled at for pouting and having an attitude. i don’t know what she wants me to do. […]
I cant breath I cry and I am facing a pillow I ralize I cant breath and I am holding my breath half of my mind is telling me its okay and my body is screaming WHAT ARE U DOING START BREATHINGSTOP BEING STUPID AND IS CUSSING I looked info on suicide and how people act I noticed I am like that ii cry and say how did I get here and I realize my mom is a drunk and druggie she dint even care enough when I was in her stomach to not do drugs not me or my lil sist. but my […]
Over a year ago I lost my sister to suicide and I still don’t get why she did it. She did not leave a note and I don’t remember there being any sign of her wanting to kill herself. It was not the first time she had attempted to kill herself, in fact it was the 3rd time. The kicker of it all though is that each time she attempted I was the one who found her.
They always say that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle but I don’t want to handle this, I’d rather have her here […]
I’ve imagined possible suicide methods for quite some time, but I never thought overthinking and looking back would do it. Considering what I’ve gone through, I have no control over it. I’m sorry I’m about to write a lot down.
I was conceived on the day my father forgot to pull out. I was not planned. My older sister needed a friend so my mother kept me. One and a half years after I was born, my parents divorced. Why? My father loved prostitutes and vodka more than his family. After that my mother dated numerous men and married & divorced 2 men before I reached […]
When I was younger, I was molested and beaten almost daily by my older sister who I idolized and looked up to. My parents would blame me for her violent episodes, saying that I provoked her. Whenever I would fight back, I’d be punished, by spankings with a belt, or they would take away things that were important to me.
Later on, my sister told my parents that I was the one who instigated the molestation. It was a very, very shameful night, me, sitting at the table with my family, my sister crying crocodile tears of guilt at 15 years of […]
I’ve struggled for a very very long time, and since i were young i’ve been depressed..
-Always bullied, abused and threatened..
When i were young up till today I’ve been going trough mental and psychical abuse., At my elementary schools i oftenly got threatened with knives and to be beaten up. A few times they even beat me up, hit me in places people couldn’t see the bruises on, and said If I’d tell anyone they’d cut my throat..
I tried to talk to people about it but always got laughed at and they said I’m just making things up, no one is doing such a thing to […]
Last night, someone pointed out all my flaws. She told me about how I’m a burden to others. She gave reasons as to why it would be better if I was gone. She opposed all my life decisions. I know she has no right to tell me I’m living my life incorrectly, but I was taught to respect and listen to the thoughts of my elders.
She persuaded me to believe her. And I did.
I asked her to buy me pills so I could end my selfish activities. Instead, she called me stupid, selfish, and so many other words just because I insisted.
She then […]
Hi, I suffer from Manic Depression . Not many in my school know that. They think i’m happy, maybe even normal teenage girl. I’m 14. But this is were it all started.
When I was little, I was always the “troubled” child. My parents would curse at me , call me a “retard” , “slut” “whore” all different types of names when I just was two years of age. It wasn’t only the names… my mom was a drunk and my dad wasn’t so much of a help either, she would hit me, with all sorts of things, whatever she could get her hands on. […]
death is the best way out and the only way. I want to die so much, you dont understand because no one does. Ive told people but they think its a joke. I see it in their face, that smile, that smirk. Its just a joke……
But im afraid to kill, to kill myself. I cant do it and i try. I think about the multiple ways and i cry because I can’t do it.
Ello. Domino speaking. Back from the hospital. And being closely monitored by a drunk dad. Hahaha. I failed once more. What is this, the 5th time? Fun.. Anyways, while I was in the hospital, I was given the ‘privilege’ of having looseleaf paper and a pencil to draw. But of course, I didn’t draw, I write. So I just slept until a dream stayed in my head, and it turned out to be one of my old memories. I feel bad for leaving you all like I did earlier, so I’m gunna type it right here for you all to know a little bit more […]
Long story – Short(Believe me, I tried):
I was 17 last year making my brother 23. He started seeing one my absolute best friends until she decided to start dating someone who could be around more, his work kept him out of town.
He told me that it really hurt him and we bonded over it… or so I thought. I had a complete falling out with one of my oldest friends and he decided to take her virginity as a way to get back at my best friend. He’s not very mature for his age – I know, and hes been told by many, including my […]
Being completely alone…it sucks. All of my friends have pretty much stopped talking to me, and they never want to spend time with me. In that time, i tried to get closer to my family…but they would rather watch tv than talk to me. I turn 18 next month, and i’m pushing myself to go on, see if anything gets better after i move out and start college. But i doubt things will change. I keep asking myself “What’s wrong with me?”. I’m pushing myself to keep going because i don’t want to be just another teen suicide story. There’s been too many of those. […]
Well, i thought it was time to introduce myself. I’m a girl, sixteen years and I’m from The Netherlands (Please don’t mind my spelling and grammar) . My nickname (Engeltje) is Dutch and it means (Little) Angel. I live in the area of Amsterdam (I guess most of you know Amsterdam :P) . I live with my parents and an older sister. So that’s the general part and now a part that goes about my life. Okay, I’ll try to keep it short, so I will only tell the most important things.
I don’t know how it goes in the USA, but in The Netherlands […]
My life has always been messed up. The earliest memory I can remember was of my mum holding one of my arms and dragging my out the front door of my first home and my other hand reaching out for my dad who stood and watched. I was screaming and crying. I didn’t want to go.
I’ve lived in many homes since my mum and dad got divorced. And mum has had many boyfriends. One was Gavin who had a son. They were really nice at first but I got scared of Gavin. One day during one of Their arguments I was hungry so I […]
I will kill myself.
I just need a letter.
I’m a waste of space. A stain on society.I’m marked with my past. All over.With ink, scars. My skin is like a road map.
I have no friends. No family.
My only loving sibling is gone. Deceased for over 3 years, now. My older sister resents me. My younger sister hardly knows me.
I’m never even around.
I don’t deserve to be around.
I know I won’t be missed.
No one will ever be upset.
That’s just the way it is, I suppose.
I’m hated, anyway. Why stay in a place where you’re stuck? Where you’re hated.
Where you’re nothing but a waste?
I imagine other people […]
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