I am a 47 year old guy facing prison for a crime with no victims, but a crime none the less. Other than the one thing I did, I have led a peaceful life and am caring and kind.
This will not only effect me, it will also devastate my family, friends and church. In addition, I am Type 1 diabetic, so a five year term is a death sentence.
I simply cannot handle this. It is impossible, and there’s only one way out.
I am looking for a place I cannot be found
The trouble is I cannot find that place myself
I hear all the voices telling me it will be okay
It never is okay there is only one way
That peaceful place is eternal sleep
Why can I not have one one wish
Just leave me alone and let me rot
Give me peace please I beg you
You are always there in my mind
Can you not just stop and leave me
You cause me pain all day and night
I really can’t take much more of this what’s the point we all end up in the same place anyways one way or the other not everyone’s story is happy think iv known for a wile my story don’t end well I guess it’s only a matter of time really
I feel like nothing . I am nothing. I don’t do anything anymore . Today I skipped my job interview because I was tired and I was scared . I never used to be like this ? I’m terrified of being judged . So I didn’t go .
I have another tomorow so I’ll try to go … But I’ve been having social anxiety for months now . People used to say I was a social butterfly.
I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot lately . There is nothing in my life that makes me remotely happy. Absolutely nothing . Probably eating. But suicide is the […]
Man, how does it get like this? To the point where every time you think you’ve got the solution to better your situation, invest all the energy and time you feel you’ve got left into it, only to find it’s drug you further down and more stuck than you were before? Leaving you that much more used up and exhausted, immobile, paralyzed to make another move, fearing like before, the likelihood it’ll just sink you further down..
You feel like it’s a sick curse, like your life has already been written, unwittingly playing the unfortunate role of some tragedy stricken fictional character, only it’s not fiction. […]
I think there’s such a thing as bastardized insanity. An insanity that you have no ownership of but it follows you around like a helpless stray dog panting for you to feed the pitiful thing. We all know what that’s like. Well, I do anyway. It’s something of a ball and chain. Forever fettered to this gargantuan weight pulling you down to an insecure comfort — walk the plank with your own personal anchor. The travails of purgatory begging to be acknowledged when all you desperately seek is one breath. One measly breath above the undertow. The heart of the sea, indeed, when water is […]
last saturday swallowed about 50, 500 mg acetaminophen tablets spent the entire night throwing up. spent several days nauseous, eventually went to the doctors(they dont know about overdose). then i swallowed about 15 more pills but im not feeling any side effects after it. i just want to die and i heard acetaminophen is one way to go
I’m running because I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel
But when I reach the end of the tunnel it’s just another puzzle.
And that’s when I understand there’s only one way to end this struggle.
And the pain and the sorrows I can no longer juggle.
And now my body’s empty and lifeless I can no longer move a muscle.
And a 6 foot hole for me they are digging with a shovel.
And people are wondering why me I always met life with a chuckle.
Will I miss some people in this life, yeah maybe a couple.
I’m still around. Figuring things out one day at a time. Engaging in things that while not the best for me help me get through the day. Harm reduction is important. If stupid flirting helps me get through or a cigarette or a drink then yes let’s do this. I’m not dependent on them but they help.
I make it to work, even make it on time some days. But I get my work done and there aren’t too many things that I am lagging in. I mean I know some things fall at the way side but I can’t figure out how to stop it.
Time […]
I don’t know, what has happened to me. I was brilliant in every field, art, sports, studies, acting, leading, my passion” photography but I think life had some other plans for me. My life is completely soiled because of a serious addiction, pornography. I am honestly writing that i don’t see women as sex objects but somehow I find momentary escape in pornography, escape from my past. But because of that addiction, life seems to be ruined and there only seems one way out….suicide. I have had the best life one can imagine. Perfect girlfriend, perfect parents, best of friends but not the best of […]
Well I tried cutting for the first time today……
I thought that maybe since it helps a lot of people with their problems one way or another it might help me.
Well, it didn’t.
I was so freaked out.
At first it looked like the blade didn’t do anything but then my skin started opening and you could see this white layer right under my skin and blood wouldn’t stop coming out.
I know, it’s kinda gross.
I’m sorry if I just made you feel sick but I had to tell someone.
when he died, I knew there was only one way to see him again….. Death. Every day I see darkness. The rain just pours itself over me. I grab razor after razor until I learn how to feel again. People tell me it will get better. That they’ll be here for me. They say love lasts forever, but even forever expires. And what about the bullies who told me to suck it up? He’s gone and I can’t fix it. He died alone on gravel. And before he died he flew. He flew in impact. It was like a gunshot in the street. And then […]
I believe I’m a very manipulative person. I have been manipulative with almost everyone I care about in one way or another. I do it to one person all the time without even realizing it. That’s how natural it has become. I don’t want to be this way. It disgusts me that I attempt to control the ones I love. Not gonna state any reasons because there’s no justification. I’ve been trying hard to work on it, but all I’m doing is second-guessing myself. I feel like no matter what I say it’s solely to benefit myself. We’re all selfish, and it’s healthy to an […]
Silence is the keystone in my life. It is the builder, the modifier, and the end result. It is the constant. It is a bit like Zero. Anything multiplied by It becomes It. It is undefined in division. It is the representation of Nothing, but It has more meaning than almost any other thing.
Everything returns to Silence. How can Nothing be so prevalent? How can Nothing be so important? Humanity chases the Silence of past generations and declares It history. Humanity chases the secrets hidden in the Silence of space. We always end up in Silence, one way or another. Perhaps It is the proper […]
Sorry, lol. The clock won’t stop screaming and there’s only one way to make it stop.
As a 31 year old male, I have suffered all my life in one way or another. I have never been happy and things just seem getting worse. I am not one of those manic guys ether. I been wanting to die since 2007, I just haven’t found a method yet. I tried to help myself and get help but realized that my brain is wired in such a way that ill probably be miserable until i die. It’s like i’m a square trying to fit inside a circle. I am also ugly so the social rejection hurts. What boggles my mind is – why do humans minimize the […]
weight
Im 28 and have suffered with depression for the past 12 years,i can’t blame a shitty childhood or lack of family support because that would be lie.i have a good job and friends who try to be a there for me buts its getting harder and harder to live behind this maskmask and when people say what do you have to feel down about the mask gets pulled tighter. I’m being crushed by the weight of my inability to get this monster out of my life.iv tryed all the usually stuff medication therapy not seems to work for longer than a few weeks,I’m now using […]
Bubbling Boiling , deep inside.
Waiting praying, to see the light.
Whispered nightmares, a tale within.
One bloodied mess, one last sin.
There’s only one way, to kill that cretin.
Death of it’s master, one way to be beaten.
Let it out, or make them pay.
A sacrifice surely, one i’ll not make.
For we like this realm, Him and I.
So I let him control, my rotted insides.
There’s only one note, I must recall.
I’m that daemon, Which hate’s it all.
He’s my king, as I for Him.
“One bloodied mess, our very last sin”
I have five more days. If I don’t complete the blood oath by then, i’ll lose everything. My wrists are going to […]
Yeah, yeah, I know – more generic “hopeful” bullshit. But, hey … one way or another, we are all still here, despite everything. I kinda think we deserve some credit for that 😉
L4Y
it was a set up. i knew it was a set up and went anyway. i was hungry. people do wierd things when they are hungry. i only went for the food. food wasnt good, and the price was worse. i do not need or want their relegion. and i am a way better cook. how dare they tell me that what i think and feel is wrong. what i believe is a lie,their is only one way. what bullshit. i was hungry. only wanted to eat. no one to blame but me.i knew better. should have stuck with macdonalds
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