Why is life so unfair? I’ll never understand. I’ll never understand why people can be so cruel, why people die, why we cant be happy. We are in a world where people actually want to die. But not for selfish reasons, not really. We just want the pain to end. And people dont get that. Many times Ive dreamt about ways to die. My friend says its “a cry for help.” But when I was doing it I didnt care about wanting to be saved. I just wanted it to end, it meaning the pain, the depression, the sadness. I didnt mean to fail those multiple times. I meant to succeed. But maybe I did mean to fail. Had I taken more pills I would have died instead of just waking up sick. How is it that you could want so badly to die and yet when given the opportunity, we dont do it. Dont get me wrong some people actually succeed. I wish I had succeed but I didnt. Its nights like these that make me beg for this pain to end. But I care about the people in my life and I dont want them to hurt. I wish they would go away so I didnt have to worry about them anymore and I could end my life and they would never know. They would go on about their life and never even give my life a second glance. However, when you think about it, when someone dies people cry for the first couple weeks maybe even the first month and then though theyÂ may still be sad about it, it will get easier for them. They get busy and so caught up in their own life that they only give you a thought now and then.
No matter whether you believe in the exsistence of god or not, life will never be fair nor simple nor even easy. Why is that? Why do people die? Why do we get so depressed once someone dies? Why do we consider dying with them just to be with them again? Why put someone through that much pain? Or even why create people who just dont eve give a shit about the lives of other people. High school is the worst. Some girls in my school told this other girl she should kill herself and she tried to commit suicide and landed in the hospital and know she has kidney failure and all those girls care about is getting in trouble. Why are people like that even born?
Maybe Ill just never understand. But honestly, I would prefer not to live in such a world. I’d rather die.