the title says it all. Drink 3-4 gallons of water and your history. or at least that’s what I though would happen. Ive tried this method 4 times and all that happened in those 4 times was both vomiting and lots of trips to the bathroom. The closest ive ever gotten to succeed with this method was the first time I tried it. I got blurry vision and confusion which made me glad because I knew it meant it was working so I drank up even more. I headed to bed and I either fell asleep or was getting in and out of consciousness every few minutes( I’m not sure which one) As for the pain, your stomach will be bloated as hell. It will hurt, not drinking bleach hurt, but extreme stomach ache hurt. Ive heard it also causes cramps. The sad part is somewhere out there there’s a women who drank few liters of water and died. but here I am, A guy chugging a shitload of water and living to tell this story on a suicide page.
Has anyone tried going out using over-the-counter drugs, specifically in the acetaminophen category? (I won’t give specific brand medication examples to prevent my post being taken down). Did it hurt or did you just go unconscious? How did you feel? Did you have organ damage? Were you hospitalized? I want to know what happened but most of all, I want to know if it HURT?
Last year I had lost my virginity to a guy I loved for a year. I am quite young as well. But anyway I lost it and he left me saying. “Good luck *****.” Then blocked me leaving me there crying. My whole family learned about the situation soon after and ever since then they haven’t treated me the same. My grandma asking me why I can’t be more like my cousin who stole my boyfriend 3x letting him cheat on me with her. And soon after I started to have a crush on this guy and she also told my best friend who through this giant fit about it. And blocked me. It just shows I can’t even trust my family any more. I can’t trust my friends. Who do I trust? I just want to be accepted for who I am……..
I’ve been taking at least 5 tylenols and 5 benadryls and 5 ibuprofens a night ever since then. Last night I took some back pain killers that were prescription to my uncle and I took 4 along side the other things I’ve been taking. This morning I couldn’t get up without collapsing back into bed and falling back asleep. I felt so numb and I was scared that I wasn’t going to wake up. Like I want to commit suicide at some point but it scares me so much. Just the thought of never knowing what could happen.
Hii my name is Arianna… I done something I can’t take back.. I took a handful of pills.. Idk if I’ll die or not, if I don’t post anything else then obviously I’m dead, but I’ll make sure to keep y’all updated. Thanks for everything guys, it really helped.. Goodbye..
So last night before I went to bed I took 12 Panadol tablets and 10 nurofen. This morning I took 10 more nurofen and 2 more panadol.
I just got home from school and not much has happened other than my usual depression + a headache. I was wondering if there is any likely symptoms at this point.
The other day I took 10 panadol and nothing happened either. Along with taking 14 paracetamol a couple weeks ago.
I was wondering how many it takes to affect me in some way other than a headache? Or should I use something else?
I was deployed to Afghanistan in 2010 as a Lance Corporal in the U.S. Marines. L0ng story short I came back with PTSD and Depression. For me that meant nightmares, fear of public spaces, panic attacks, insomnia, hyper vigilance, anger and flashbacks along with everything that comes with depression. 2011 is when I started to get suicidal and went into the VA ( Veterans Affairs) the first time in September for a week and again in October for about a week. They didn’t fix anything they just gave me a nice cocktail of meds to keep in a zombie like state. Living like that sucks. I couldn’t work or do much of anything else. My day normally consisted of isolating and not eating (I lost 25lbs in a week and a half), watching Netflix and porn, taking my pills and drinking in my room. This is how I lived for about a year. November 2012 I got fed up with it all and tried OD’ing on about 1500mg of Trazodone, and I don’t remember how much of my other sleeping pill. Obviously it didn’t work. I was found and taken to the E.R. No damage was done and they didn’t have to pump my stomach just hook me up to a few IVs and I was good. I went straight from there to a civilian hospital that had a program for veterans and I was there for about a month and a half. I came out of there feeling pretty good and with a new confidence and even got married in 2014. I was also medically retired from the Marine Corps in 2014 due to my PTSD and depression. Things have started to go down hill as I have been having to fight the VA for my benefits and I have started to have the worst migraines and my doctor gave me meds that are weaker than stuff I can get over the counter. I get these migraines 2-3 times a week and they are so bad that all I can do is go lay down in a quiet and dark room and try and take a nap to sleep it off. This has started to affect my marriage as I am at work until about 3 pm then come home and spend the rest of the day laying down by myself. Another thing that came up is the likelihood that I have sleep apnea on top of everything else. The icing on this shit cake is that my retirement was taken away because of a mess up in paperwork back in 2014 when I applied for CRSC so I could keep my VA disability check and collect retirement. So now I cant take care of my family and will be calling it quits here in the next month or two. The plan is this time to go somewhere where no one will find me for a few days and take all my remaining trazodone, prazosin, divalproex, and lithium to knock me the fuck out. Just as I start to feel all that kick in though I will be putting a large trash bag over my head and tightening it around my neck then binding my hands behind me to keep myself from ripping the bag off when my brain goes into panic mode and I will eventually pass out from the meds and eventually die from lack of oxygen. I’m done with the wife, the VA, and constantly getting screwed over and not getting fixed. I cant and wont live like this. I’m done fighting this hard for the benefits I need.
This will be a rather quick synopsis of my suicidal attempts and what led up to them and how I managed past them but the story should come across anyways.
I was about 14 at this time, and had started cutting. it wasn’t “severe” as it was mostly little scratches. I would only “cut” when I was super overwhelmed with my situation, or emotions. I had been seeing a guy for about a year, and was infatuated with him. One day, he decided to tell me that he had been cheating on me with his ex, but that I shouldn’t be worried because he can multitask. I, of course, got infuriated. I decided that since the one guy I would ever love (pretty much how I felt in every relationship) didn’t love me anymore, I was worthless. I decided to overdose on many medications. After this attempt, which still affects me to this day, I got sent to a mental psych facility. I spent awhile in there, as I got diagnosed with chronic depression, and schizophrenia. I was put on many medications to treat these, then was released. The next few weeks, months even, I felt much better.
About six months later, I had gotten into another relationship, a not so healthy one at that. I started cutting again. I got slightly deeper, but this time I cut whenever I felt any emotion, other than happiness. However, this increased to where I would create situations that made me feel uncomfortable so I could cut. I had also started asphyxiation. I would do this until I passed out. I honestly don’t remember what made me blow up and attempt again, but I did, I overdosed on “heavier” medications. I, once again got sent to a mental psych facility, where I stayed once more. This time, I got diagnosed with bipolar, PTSD, along with the others mentioned above. I got more medication to help counteract the illnesses. I stayed “free” (meaning without suicide attempts or self harm behaviors) for a year and a half until it struck again.
School started back up, at this time I’m seventeen, and starting my senior year. Everything seemed to be going well, I was 53 in my class of 674, I was in the national honor society, my GPA was 3.87, I was set for college. Then everything changed. My mood swings became unmanageable, my outbursts were intolerable, and frankly I was constantly depressed. I started cutting, this slowly became severe as I started experimenting with blades and strokes. Pill popping became habitual. And I started getting into drugs. I had decided to runaway from home. So I did. The next morning, when the realization of my actions became real to me, I immediately hated myself. How could I do that? I called my frantic and hysterical parents as they came and got me. I felt so bad for what I had put my family through, I had once again decided this world would be better without me. After this episode I got diagnosed with BPD, (Borderline Personality Disorder). I moved out, hoping I would feel better, that my problems would be solved. Many things happened during this time. I started practicing unsafe sex regualarly, got into cocaine and heroin, was in and out of abusive relationships, and picked cutting back up. I would cut daily, taking up chuncks of my body at a time, like a whole thigh, or my whole forearm, 360 degrees around. And I overdosed yet again, thinking the world didnt need me, didnt want me, so I spendt 4 days in the hospital. All this worsened until I got hit with big news.
I was pregnant. This came as a shock as I had been diagnosed with PCOS, disease in which my ovaries didnt function properly. I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do. I slowly came to terms without as I had stopped all my self destructive behaviors, for my baby’s sake. I found a new love. I lived, and continue to live for my baby girl Zoey who pushes me to be the very best I can be. She is now a little more than a month old, born three months early,and still a fighter. She is fighting to live for me, so I will fight to live for her.
Thank you for actually reading this long ass post. I didn’t think it would be this long. Oh well, if you have any questions, or need/want me to explain anything in further detail just ask:)
A few days before I tried to die, I had attempted to self medicate with antidepressants I bought off an acquaintance. I felt hopeful, I thought I wouldn’t feel crazy anymore. It did nothing for me. I probably used the wrong dosage, but at the time I decided to give up hope.
Friday night, I get home from my job. I’m a cashier and waiter under the table. Tips are always fluctuating between me feeling rich and getting 8 bucks for 10 hours of work. I don’t remember how much I earned then, I just remember that at 6 pm that day, all my friends were walking the stage at high school graduation while I was barred from the ceremony because the Assistant Principal went on a suspension spree over a huge water bottle fight earlier that week, and apparently carrying a water bottle afterwards meant I was a no-good anarchist.
I got home, avoiding Facebook and Instagram and all of the photos of my friends achieving something, but alas the urge to make myself feel bad was too great. After I checked my social media, I watched an episode of my favorite sit-com on Netflix until I just eventually stared right through the screen. I felt like crying over nothing, I was just so tired. I went to my room and sat down on the floor.
I stared at my bookshelf for a good 10 minutes before I got the energy to get up and look around at the exact same bookshelf I see every day, as if something’s changed. On a whim, out of despair and to amuse myself, I picked up a dollar coin and flipped it saying “Heads I live, tails I die”. It landed on tails immediately. I flipped again. “Best two out of three?” I thought, as the coin landed softly on the carpet with the head facing me. An emotionless yet depressed third flip yielded the tail side of the coin, and suddenly I’d become the most motivated I’ve ever felt.
I got up at walked to the kitchen. I filled a glass with water and I took half of all the antidepressants that were meant to help me live, and a few Vicodin. After I flushed it down with refreshingly cold water, I pulled Vodka out of the freezer and took a gulp for good measure, hoping that the depressants would let me just sleep my life away. As I shuffled back to my room, I pass my sister and I hug her more warmly than I’d ever done before, make a few jokes and puns, and say good night. With my door shut, I type out a status on Facebook apologizing for being a nuisance to everyone. I’d hurt too many people, irritated them, simply been in the way. The world would be better off without me and I’d be better off without the world. I whip out my iPod and create a playlist named “Thanks for all the fish” for a bit of literary humor before I die, and put only one song on it to play on repeat: “No Surprises” by Radiohead.
I texted my girlfriend I love her and told her what was about to happen wasn’t her fault, then I passed out in bed. I woke up dizzy and drunk at 1 am, No Surprises still whispering in my ear, to see that my girlfriend has arrived, in tears, to stop me. I was extremely out of it as I held her while she cried, and she convinced me to give her the rest of the antidepressants. My parents, concerned with saving money, made me make myself vomit it all out after my girlfriend went back home. I felt sleepy and unsteady until the late afternoon the next day, and I deleted my suicide note from Facebook.
Now, a month later, I’m tied between cherishing my new chance at life and shaming myself for something as simply as eating a few more pills. Honestly my suicidal thoughts will probably never go away, I’m just trying to stay alive to maybe achieve something, or at least bring a smile to my girlfriend’s face. My parents don’t believe in depression so therapy is impossible for me to go to, and I have no more pills to use properly. So for now, I’ll stick to simply distracting myself with binges of Netflix and video games to help me forget myself.
In my previous post (my first) I gave my whole story. And…I know I’m committing suicide by overdose. It’s just, the timing is the question. Well…I’m at a family friends house watching their pets while their away for a while. And last night I was in their master bathroom looking for nail clippers because part of my nail got ripped off and I needed to trim it down. In this search I found vials of severe pain medication. One of the vials was opened and some taken out of it. I tried to fight my internal demons, and won…for only a few hours. I used 5 units, or roughly 1/10th of a cc/mL to test it out to see how much it effected me. Now I’m having an internal battle of if I’m going to take the vials or not. If I do, I know I have to commit suicide shortly after because I don’t want to get into trouble for stealing. Then earlier today I was looking for cleaning products to clean up my mess from doing paintings with soft pastels (kind of like chalk) and it’s very very messy. And, I found unused 3 cc/mL syringes. (In my previous post I talked about taking syringes from my previous job and trying to commit suicide by injecting air into my veins. Well, I only have 1 left now because my mom found the others and took them from me because she thought I was using drugs.) I took 2 of the unused ones out of maybe a dozen. But I haven’t taken the vials…yet or if I even take them. It’s just so hard having your demon in your hands, and the bipolar/depression whispering in your ear these sweet seductive things that you know in your heart you shouldn’t do.
Well I am new here and im only 14 years old in 8th grade going into high school. I am going through depression and have had many suicidal thoughts and attempts. To start off with school is stressing me out right now and theres only a few days left. My grades are horrible and I might not graduate. I have no freedom because my mother doesnt let me out and I stay in my room all day. My friends are always together out being teenagers and I am just at home arguing with my mother. A few days ago my mother told me that if I dont graduate that she will beat me so hard ill remember it for my whole life. That made me feel worse because I know I wont graduate and im scared. Today there was graduation practice while everyone was so happy theyre graduating the teachers put me in the corner and I just watched and cried. Im so unhappy and depression is taking over my life and im not the same. I eat more than I ever did and im starting to gain some weight. I cry all the time about how lonely and sad I feel being in my bed all day with out doing anything. Whats the point of living when you are always crying and so unhappy? I also have so much anxiety. I hate it. Everything is just a mess. Ive been depressed for over a year now and it wont go away. I think its time for me to go. I know im young but I feel so worthless. All I want is to be happy and enjoy my summer and have fun. Just live my life you know? But I cant with mother never letting me and this depression im going through. It feels like im in the dark alone and will never come out.
I lost count of how many pills I just took. Hopefully, I’ll never wake.
Hey there, Basically I’m 18 dropped out of school. Ive been facing mental health problems since i was 15 and tried to take my own life. I was hospitalised this year for 9 weeks and then a day patient for 6 weeks after. Im no better and I’ve the doctors have decided to stop treating me as they don’t know whats wrong. anyhow due to this fact that i can’t be helped and my lack of future and many many other things I’ve decided that tonight I’m going to take my own life.
does anybody have any tips on like is there anyway i can make the whole discovery of body easier on my family
just incase any advice like if i somehow wake up and I’m in a lot of pain should i just wait it out
About 4 days ago I ate 20 castor seeds. I kept them down for about an hour to two hours so they should have been fully dissolved. I peuked and had bad diarreah for about a day then the throwing up went away. The liquid poops I still have. And I havent had a solid one since. I know that its supposed to take a few days but it seems like its not going to work. Any body have any experience trying with ricin/castor seeds?
The stomach doesnt dissolve it as were in another form. We dont have to go into that though because of the the legalities. I will be pleasantly suprised if I take a turn for the worse in a day or so but I am going to try another method but 20 seeds is alot. I have to chug water for me to not feel like my skin is going to crack from dryness. Heres to hoping I don’t have to shoot myself. But that is always an option.
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I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.
I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone can change this. So please, spare me the sweet comments about how everything will get better and I should stay strong because I can’t, I am a weak person who cannot handle anything anymore.
I know there are endless threads on this topic but I can’t seem to find a consistent answer. Does anyone know of a painless way to commit suicide (either from research or from a painless past overdose)? I do not know if I will get a response and if I do receive one I am not looking for some form of moral support. I understand that there is much to take out of life and that, as the 15 year old I am, I have not yet experienced many of the joys life has to offer, but I have suffered for too long. Medications and meetings with doctors have not helped ease the pain and the severe depression I have fought since I was 11 years old. As an outsider, the length of my illness may not seem very great, but I can tell you that it feels like I have had this pain for what feels like an eternity. In all honesty I have not yet made up my mind as to whether I want to go through with this suicide or not. The major factor is the amount of pain I am afraid I will cause both for myself physically while taking my life, and for my family and friends emotionally after the damage has been done. God/the afterlife is not a factor. I do not consider myself a religious person and while I have not ruled out the possibility of there being some form of God or an afterlife, I believe that if there is a God, he will not punish a person for desiring to rid themselves of suffering. I am typically strong willed but I have lacked any sort of motivation for a very long time. I have lost the will to be the best student I can be, and I have even lost the will to do the things I once loved – hanging with friends and family, playing and writing music, and building my strengths as an athlete. I have lost all of my passions and no longer feel like doing anything (including getting out of bed in the morning). I am not living for myself right now. I am living to spare my parents of the pain I will cause them if/when I take my own life. I find myself questioning now whether sparing my parents some pain is worth the pain I suffer on a daily basis. I apologize for the length of this post, I just figured I ought to give background as to why I am here. Once again, the reason I am posting is because I want to know of any form of painless suicide in case I do decide to take my own life. I have done plenty of research but I get very inconsistent answers. I attempted suicide earlier this year by entering my Mom’s car in the garage, turning on the ignition, and letting it run. I was probably sitting in the driver’s seat alone for about 5-10 minutes when I began to experience severe dizziness/numbness. If I had given in to the numbness and let myself fall asleep, I do not know how it would have resulted, but I did not go through with it. I got scared, got out of the car, went inside, opened a window, and propped myself down against the wall below the opened window. Would this have been the easiest/most painless way to go out? I ought to also mention that I have access to anti-depressants and Adderall. Whatever it takes to spare myself some pain, I think I may end up going through with it. Again, I understand that I am young and have much to live for in the eyes of some people, but I have been suffering for a long time and selfishly do not think I can fight this any longer. Please, can anyone help educate me on any painless forms of suicide? For anyone who has read all of this, I thank you. I know you are here to help others get through their pain and I think that is admirable.
I feel like I have a secret life… I want the peace of death, but I would feel so guilty. Overdose?
I get told all the time that ‘everything will get better’. It doesn’t. Things get better for a while, a few weeks, a few months, even a whole year! But the depression never truly goes away. It’s always there. Suicide will always be there as a last resort.
I am sorry for posting something negative, I wish I could post something more inspiring, but then I’d be lying the whole time.
I have been been happy for a few months now, and I thought I was getting better overall. Things were finally looking up for me. But as soon as something totally bad happens, I revert back into my safe place – depression. And it takes so long to snap out of it again.
I am so depressed right now, I don’t think I can live to see another tomorrow. I really can’t handle everything.
So I have a few questions about the method of overdosing. See, what I really want to do is use helium or ********, but I’m not in a position where I can get the necessary equipment. Anyway, I’m probably going to overdose on pills. But I really don’t want to deal with the throwing up and pain. So I was wondering, if I took some strong sleeping pills before, or just overdosed on sleeping pills, do you think I’d fall asleep first and stay asleep? Because that would be ideal. Thank you!
I am only 25 but I feel like suicide has become the only option for me. I want to share my story with you and I hope you’ll give me an honest response on whether it suicide seems acceptable in my case.
My life has always been fucked up. My mum was schizophrenic and an alcoholic. From the post natal depression she was deemed unfit to care for us and I went through several foster families who abused and physically attacked me. She died from liver poisoning when I was 5. My dad took my brother and I in for two years but we lived in a constant state of fear and neglect.Â One day he nearly killed me from punching me repeatedly in the head from coming home half an hour late. We went to the hospital and he reluctantly told me there was no brain damage, and suspected abuse but I was too afraid to say. I struggled at school. From a very early age everybody bombed me out and made me feel like a freak. The girls ran away when someone suggested my interest in them and even the teachers verbally attacked me.
My mum’s sister (a wealthy teacher) adopted me after two years of living with dad. She loved me to pieces and I saw her as a mother. She pushed education and had high expectations.Â I worked so hard to be normal… I made some friends, girlfriends, and worked my way up to university. But at some point a long time ago, I fell so far behind.Â My physical and mental development stopped when I was about 15. I hit puberty late and only had one growth spurt, so at 25 I still look like a child. From this you’ve probably deduced that I’m tiny and you’d also be correct, and it completely tore me apart when I found this out. I lost my virginity at 16. Nobody could understand how I had pulled such a beautiful girl but we were extremely happy together at first. She thought I was the kindest and most loving person she ever met. At this point, when I walked down the street girls wouldÂ whisper or shout about how ugly I was and I even remember one guy saying “he’s the ugliest guy I’ve ever seen”. And I had thought that I had friends in school but it turned out that everybody hated me.Â I tried working from 16 and every job I’ve been in I failed miserably. As a waiter, I poured boiling gravy over someone. As a dining room worker, I flooded the place with a mop and forgot tasks.Â I started to die inside from all of these criticisms and doubts. I stopped looking after myself and our relationship waned. She was the girl I would’ve married if I wasn’t ugly, retarded, and mentally distraught. I hated the world for making me this way and I couldn’t do anything about it. I was never the same after her and I experienced heartwrencing unrequited love more times than anyone should have to go through.Â I went on to a few more jobs: As a bartender, I gave drinks away for free because they wouldn’t take the time to teach me on the till. As a pizza delivery guy, I got lost and forgot items often, and once delivered to the wrong house. As a call centre employee, I was anxious of talking on the phone and everyone I worked with avoided me and called me an idiot/worthless.
Despite being a good person and trying my hardest, I’ve always been a failure and I was doomed from the start. I gave up on trying after 8 months at the call centre. I went on benefits, presented myself as homeless to the housing executive (I was), and became a recluse. I have lost all faith in humanity, everybody in my town calls me an idiot or a spastic and directs hate at me wherever I go.Â I’ve been so isolated and depressed that I’ve lost the ability to communicate verbally. And I think even my family don’t love me anymore. I see no option other than suicide. I’ve discovered that I am mentally handicapped in some way, I have no friends left, live in abject poverty, my family barely pretend to care, and I’ve nothing to hope or live for. The mental health services are a waste of time, they can alleviate depression/anxiety but nobody can fix stupid. I have half a gram of heroin I plan to mix with an excessive amount of alcohol and GHB. It’s either that or by a burden on my family and society for the rest of my life. I’m not afraid of death because I know God doesn’t exist. Only a tyrant would allow the holocaust and wars to occur, and only a twisted God would allow someone as loving and caring as me to suffer such a fate.
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So this is my story of my Depression and search for help.
I live in London and when I made the transition to year 7 it was very hard for me as I’m not great at changes and my aunt died of cancer recently, so I started seeing the school councillor. So it was all going well and helping with the death of my aunt, but after about two year when I was in year 9 another of my aunts died this time it affected me hugely so my mood dropped, so with this I started self harming. So I kept up with the self harm. But in about year 10 or 11 I started hearing voices that are outside my head and they were not very kind so in year 11 I tried to overdose, this didn’t work at all and I was completely fine. Then a few months after that I tried again this time hanging myself, but the rope slipped before so I was fine. so that takes us to the start of year 12, just to let you know me and this guy were really good friends and we made promises not to cut to each other, and there would come times where I had to stop him and he had to stop me. Sadly I was not there for him one day, this was the day he jumped in front of a train to kill himself. So my best friend just killed himself. So as you can tell that made me become extremely suicidal. After coping with this heartache my uncle decided to hang himself. So that’s two suicides in one year. so after this I was very suicidal and the voices were only getting worse. So in November of last year I took a major overdose, I was taken to hospital where my stomach lining had been burnt. So I was finally put on antidepressants. These didn’t work no matter how much they increased my dosage. Then at the end of last year my nan who is my inspiration became very ill. This January she died peacefully. So I had to get over all these deaths and my best friends anniversaryÂ was coming up soon. I got through all of this by cutting. Any-ways a few days a go a friend found me a the side of a train track ready to jump, she saved my life. So they stopped my anti depressants and I am now on anti psychotics. So that’s the part of my life that I am living with and I feel sorry for the 4 therapist I have and the 2 doctors and all my friends and family because this is the way I’m going and I feel as if I’m just wasting peoples time any-ways thanks for reading.