Thoughts I cannot control, flit through my mind as a storm through the night.
She never loved me. It was all a cruel joke. It had to be, because I cannot be loved.
A circus monster like me is always apart, a one trick pony performing continuously.
I am trying to control my heart, but it’s incessant. My head is pounding, and I can hear
A waterfall rushing through my temples. I never had to deal with this before…never.
She faked everything. Everything was a lie, from beginning to end, so I would let down
My guard. I hate, I hate and it slows me down, dulls my mind so I can barely type.
Traitor. Traitor traitor traitor traitor traitor traitor traitor. My mind is poison.
It is all I can do to keep away from her; it is all I can do to quarantine myself.
God help me, I want this to end. She left me alone, all alone, without a care
Without a thought for anyone but herself. I can’t blame her. I can’t. It was the
Wise thing to do. But this emptiness and pain is turning to hate. I can barely see straight,
Because more then anything I want to see her face. I want to tell her I love her, I want to
See her smile. But I am bound under oath. So bound; the moment I made that vow,
All hope was lost. Come back, my heart screams, and I must push it down.
Go back, my mind orders me, and I must turn the noise off. Shutdown. Shut
Visions. She is laughing at me. With her friends. Taunting me for my naivety.
Taunting me for my weakness, for being so affected by her. You are nothing,
she tells me. You will always be nothing. I can see her in my minds eye,
Telling me she always loved another; that everything she told me was false.
That it was always him, because whatever he was, he was not a snake.
I am struggling, struggling to stay sane, but sanity is leaving me; I feel crazy
You said this and you said that, she says in my head, but in the end you could
Do nothing. Because you are worthless. To repeat past mistakes, to be fooled.
You cannot be loved, Snake. Slither back into the dark grimy cave where you belong.
She tells me. Hate. In my heart. Burning me, tearing me apart, please make it stop.
What I would not give to die, in this moment.