every time i start to convince myself that i have made my way through the pain to the otherside where i can live my life something slips inside my mind and destroys everything. i am a dreadful sack of existence. full of potential, wasted. if i had no talent, then it would be easier to waste away. i am a pitiful and pathetic excuse for life. when i speak, only nothing is made. after all, when the nothing man has nothing to say he speaks. i tried, yes, i tried to clean myself up, i got two jobs, i’m going to school, im exercising consistently. […]
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Pathetic Excuse
I honestly have no idea how to work this site, but truth is when I was little my dad tried to kill me and ended up in prison and beat my mom multiple times in front of me. Along with that I’ve been rejected my whole life because I’m quieter then other people. Then of course I fall in love being stupid and stuff so when that happened he was SO in love with another girl and never ceased to let me forget and left me inthe dust. So now I have anorexia, I cut, major depression, and have had suicide attempts. […]
hello i posted here before once and got some good advice…but im feeling like ending my life more then ever. Everything ive worked on to become more optimistic and happy just seemed like a waste of time its gotten to the point where  ”smiling”  has become a chore. Ive tried to work on my family relationships to be happier and to be more social for them but they constantly remind me how pathetic i am i mean my gran would open the door to people and openly say ”this is my pathetic excuse of a grandson i couldnt be more ashamed to be his grandmother” and  my mother constantly reminding me how […]
well i finally screwed up the last chance i had at happiness. i knew it was inevitiable, i guess i was just dreaming when i thoght i coukld be happy…i was so very wrong. well at leasti know know…i tried and failed and now there is only one thing left to do….i need to die …put an end to this pathetic excuse for a life…………..
Elayna Isabel Carter “Layne” will be laid to rest today after 17 years of misery on this earth
Layne is remembered by those who knew her as a pathetic excuse for a human and a waste of oxygen. She was the unwanted youngest child of Phillip and Collete  and the stupid annoying kid sister of Matthew and Kristin.
Layne hung herself in her room leaving her family and so-called friends overjoyed that the emo psycho was finally dead and gone. You see Layne was a failure and a drain on society. She got knocked up at 14 and failed miserably at being a mother to her son […]
I look at myself and all I see is failure. I’m so disgusted by myself I am sick to my stomach. I would like to think that if even one person showed me kindness and compassion than maybe there’s something to live for. Maybe I’m not destined to be alone and severely depressed for the rest of my life. God, I am such a pathetic excuse for a human being. I’m so fucking worthless. Who am I kidding huh? Did I honestly ever think that anybody could ever really truly love me? No.
Is a friend just to much to ask for? Or maybe I just […]
I feel like that again. Like all I can do is cry. And be depressed. And hate myself. My tears feel like razor blades. My heart aches. Yet again, I’m not who I seem to be. I’m empty. I’m scared… I want to be gone, so no one has to deal with the pathetic excuse for a person that I am. And so I can be done with this. Disgust is the only thing I see in myself. I’m the one who made myself like this. And there is no way to fix me. I depend on pills to keep me alive, to numb my […]
I am dying inside in a sort or agony/hell/torture that is literally unimaginable! I have the perfect opportunity right now to end it! I won’t have this opportunity again for several days! I could be setting up the equipment right now as we speak and be gone within a hour. BUT NOOOO, I don’t have the fucking balls enough to go thru with it! I’m too afraid of the pain which I know will be over within 5-20 mins. The pain I have been feeling for the last 12 years by far out weighs the pain of hanging myself. I KNOW THIS! BUT I STILL […]
the amassing depression. the self-loathing, self put down. the little voice in my head telling me that i should just kill myself and be free. my fucking straight edge calling me from the drawer. my psych meds transforming into an image of freedom. fuck fuck fuck!!! how wonderful it would be, the bus driver not being able to stop in time. or the gun salesman not knowing my true intention. fuck here come the fucking tears. the kind of sadness that make me feel weak and lonely. except for the fact that i am alone and lonely. i’m a pathetic excuse for a human being. […]
I wrote my first blog here earlier last year:Â A Wasted Life… and hopefully my last is going to be posted sometime next year. This one was quite unplanned and most unexpected but after thinking about it for a little while, I just had to go ahead and write it… okay, so here goes. I live with two people who I greatly care for but one of them’s like seriously terminally ill and he isn’t really capable of taking care of himself anymore, he’s also extremely isolated now since he’s pretty well housebound most of the time. I’ve been living with him for years, trust me […]