Tag:

Personality Disorder

My Experience with Borderline Personality Disorder

by sisterofnight 5/15/2018

written by sisterofnight

Hey. For starters, I’m 18. As soon as I turned 18 I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s the youngest you can be with this diagnosis. I grew up in a stable house hold, with stable parents, and 2 stable older brothers. Where the hell I came from is beyond me. From an early age I showed signs of isolation and poor self esteem. In the 6th grade I wrote a letter regarding how depressed I was to my teacher. No action was taken.

Even as I type this, I feel no attachment to my past. I feel no connection to the daily self harm […]

5/15/2018 3 comments

I need a neutral perspective, I guess?

by sennyohime 10/1/2015

written by sennyohime

I feel so pathetic for getting to the point where I have to write on forums about my problems because I’m so absolutely terrified to tell anyone close to me. I’ve isolated myself almost entirely since about last April/May and I’ve lost everyone important to me. There has not been a day to go by without me thinking about ending my life in some way in months and gosh, these past few days I feel like a ghost in my own body. I feel so numb and empty. I have no energy. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I can’t get my schoolwork done. […]

10/1/2015 4 comments

i just dont know how to feel

by greenparksgirl 7/31/2013

written by greenparksgirl

Hi. My name is Ashley.

I’ve been struggling with depression since I was 9 years old. I’m 19 now.

I recently got the diagnosis of Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder with a behavioural disorder due to drug and alcohol use at a young age.

Just over a month ago I gave up. I tried to commit suicide in the past but I never did it right, so naturally nobody took me seriously when I told them how I was feeling. This time was different. My lungs gave out, they had to do my breathing manually. When I woke up they sectioned me. I was put into my local mental […]

7/31/2013 6 comments

Failure

by gtcc 2/23/2013

written by gtcc

i can’t even begin to recount the times i’ve tried to kill myself – i started in 2nd grade – i’ve been married nearly 20 years – 4 children –

i’ve been hospitalized twice – once as an adult 2 years a go

i’m not diagnosed as personality disorder – but as i’ve read about it – i’m pretty sure i am – but this total break didn’t come until a family member did the most treacherous betrayal deed that could be done –

i never grieved the horrid act against me – but my child –

that was 6 years a go – and for me – it […]

2/23/2013 2 comments

feeling worthless

by bloodymary 2/20/2013

written by bloodymary

I lost my new job. Have no car. My family has disowned me. I have no car and live in a motel with my bf who also recently lost his job. I don’t do drugs, I hardly ever drink, I’m honest and kind. But I am bipolar and diabetic and ADHD and depressed and probably have personality disorder. I am stubborn but very sensitive. I’m so tired of being stressed and broke and scared and feeling worthless to the world. I hate how others gladly walk all over good people and mistreat them for their own success or profit. I’m sad. I sometimes dream of […]

2/20/2013 1 comment

If I were going to…

by DawgMom 2/18/2013

written by DawgMom

Â this is pretty much what I would say…

Dear Someone:

First of all, I don’t think I can explain why I’ve done this so if you’re hoping to get that from this letter, just know I will probably disappoint you. Second, also know that I have always detested suicide letters. I think it’s a load because I know nothing I say is going to matter. The only reason I can think of for doing this is so that people canâ€™t ***** that â€œShe didnâ€™t even leave a noteâ€ – blah. As if it will make a difference. People will draw their own conclusions and forensic psychologists and […]

2/18/2013 1 comment

Screwed

by Douvi 2/9/2013

written by Douvi

I’m old and my life doesn’t have enough pros to be happy but it doesn’t have enough cons, visible cons, for others to stop shaming me. No matter what I say no one believes me, that and other times I’ll get treated rudely; “kicked while down”

I’ve learn that anytime I tried to explain what is going on, I’ll be painted as “resisting” and “unstable” regardless of how legitimate my words and experience are. Usually I take a deep breath everytime it happens. It doesn’t help my situation, it definetly doesn’t help but only lets me reach this acute solution of few minutes where I regress, […]

2/9/2013 3 comments

#4 A long time passed yet am back here. I wish something could help.

by loopey 10/12/2012

written by loopey

So, my story continues. Â I’ve got spinal problems causing chronic pain which I have lived with for years, but there’s no cure. Â Just strong strong painkillers. Â I’ve got mental health ‘issues’, to put it nicely. Â I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, to treatment-resistant depression, OCD and PTSD. Â Borderline personality disorder tendancies, with obsessional-compulsive personality disorder. Â My current diagnonsense is Bipolar II with complex PTSD, chronic pain and chronic suicidal ideation.

Recently though, this chronic level of suicidal thinking has escalated into something much deeper and darker. Â I am back to believing that things definitively cannot get better; I cannot get better as I am so […]

10/12/2012 4 comments

Its hung for when Im ready…

by ItsJustMe79 9/6/2012

written by ItsJustMe79

So I made the noose today and hung it in my outside storage. So whenever I’m ready and I feel the urge… I’ve been cutting and purging for the last few days… it seems to help for a moment but not completely. I’ve been in the hospital twice and I go to therapy wkly and am on an antidepressant but I don’t remember a time when my depression and thoughts have honestly been this bad. I dunno how to control my emotions… I’ve been diagnoised with borderlin personality disorder and am very embarressed by what I’m going thru. I dunno if it will be tonite, […]

9/6/2012 1 comment

We all know how this story is going to end. Always have.

by enjoytheraven 5/24/2012

written by enjoytheraven

I have major depressive disorder and social anxiety/borderline avoidant personality disorder.

I was going to go to group therapy. I never did.

I was seeing a counselor. I stopped going.

I take an anti-depressant. It helps a lot but not enough I guess. Less anxiety and less pain but that isnt enough.

I live a solitary life. I am like a hermit. I barely speak to people. I avoid women. Don’t make eye contact, speak as little as possible. If they seem to like me, become vaguely hostile…put up those old barriers. Whatever it takes. Because it hurts and they can hurt me more. But all I really want […]

5/24/2012 15 comments

curious to see if others think they have it worse than me?

by idunno 3/29/2012

written by idunno

(SORRY THIS IS GUNNA BE REALLY UNorganized, I just keep editing it, and adding info..Hi I’m a physically healthy (not so much mentally) 18 y/o girl, with many issues including: Severe anxiety (social), I have been depressed before, suicidal, I’ve been recently diagnosed with ADD. I think I might have avoidant personality disorder, mild ocd? mild sexual abuse and I think I had selective mutism as a child up until gr.11 when I dropped out of highschool, because I cracked . and alienated/avoided virtually all my friends(due to depression, humiliation and I didn’t want to have anything to do with my school.) I spend most […]

3/29/2012 7 comments

Life is grand, life is a lie…

by ironmiserie333 3/28/2012

written by ironmiserie333

To start I have been watching this site for a year. I have witnessed sorrow, pain, emptiness, death, and living the life of death. I have also watched a few people climb from the edge and feel wonderful.
I am so sorry to tell you this but that lasting happiness is a lie. Someday everything you built will come crashing down. Your spouse will leave you sure to your mental wearing them down. Those people who can see the worlds splendor will never truly understand us.
I have a good job, a sweet step-daughter, a beautiful wife, and the cutest dog in the world.
I […]

3/28/2012 5 comments

someone please listen

by bubblecabeza 5/31/2009

written by bubblecabeza

I’m a 17 (almost 18) year old girl and this is my brain’s rant session.

I’m extremely distant from reality pretty much all day, my life seems so pointless and corrupted that I create these fantasies about people, usually guys, I wish I could affect, but actually am just obsolete to.

After seeing the film Girl, Interrupted, I had a kind of wake up call that I was almost identical to Susana Kaysen who had Boderline Personality Disorder, it made me feel like I could define myself finally instead of being this pathetic outcast. I took a test for this on the internet and it confirmed that […]

5/31/2009 4 comments