I OD’d on my psychotropic (/psychiatric) pills in 2019. ‘Twas a heavy overdose and my pills were strong and of very high dosages. I was naturally almost sure that I’d wind up dead. But guess what? I woke up in the morning. Not in a good state at all, but I awoke. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t utter a solitary word. Hell, I couldn’t even see things. I was cold. I’ve a long history of mental illnesses – BD (+ Psychosis — Schizoaffective disorder) and various PDs, so my folks figured out that I must’ve once again yanked some suicidal sh_t when I […]
People underestimate how much music means to me. They have no idea that music is the only thing keeping me from a mental institute. Music does so many things for me. It keeps the monsters of the night away, it pushes away all feeling cutting couldnâ€™t. It keeps my anxiety down, and calms me when I need it. Itâ€™s the only thing Iâ€™m alive for. The depression, the anxiety, the eating disorders, the bipolar, the ADHD, the personality disorders, theyâ€™d all be 20 times worse without music.
And trust me when I say Iâ€™d be dead by now. Without music, I wouldnâ€™t have that one song […]
not the depression or the personality disorders… the anxiety
How absolutely sick is it that I find comfort and safety on a site that people tell you about how they want to die? Oh now you are probably thinking to yourself, well itâ€™s probably because you need to know that there are others like you. Yes thatâ€™s right I have a logical mind. I am not mad at you, whoever you is, Iâ€™m mad at me, for being me, but then for being mad at me, because I know how it is more for a lot of people with personality disorders, except I feel what I should feel, then have not the feelings […]