well my brother has officially snapped. whenever he dosent get his way he acts like a huge baby and throws a tantrum and of course its all my fault. he said he wished i died and i actually killed myself. awesome. its always my fault. now of course he blames me and he has a whole big pity party. i really dont want to be here. he even blamed me for him hitting me earlier. im weirdly calm even though he is yelling at my mom about me. he is like a 2 year old but it does scare me because he’s bigger and stronger […]
Tag:
Pity Party
Last night was just an all around bad night. My girlfriend needed to go to the hospital and I offered to go with her, but she said “no” because I need to sleep for school, understandable. And then my boyfriend said he will go with and she jumped at the idea which honestly just bugged the shit out of me. I mean, how in the world did it make sense that she only wanted him with her. I just was so mad. And then again I was bothered because they just automatically assumed I will watch their 2 year old daughter. And yes, I know […]
I get the feeling that you need something for security, as in cutting/self harm, something that indicates that your still alive. I am not going to sugarcoat this, because for people throw a pity party for themselves. Even if your going through something, because we all do, you are the author of your own fate. “But my mom/dad/both don’t care about me. I did that because of what they did to me.†Like I said, it’s up to you with what you do with your life, don’t let other people influence how you walk down your own path. If you do drugs, alcohol, smoke, don’t […]
I have no real reason to kill myself. I guess I’m being really selfish and unreasonable. My boyfriend left me oh..about month and a half ago. I really loved him..no..I was obsessed with him. I still am. After he left me I threatened to kill myself and his mother found out. He still really cares about me, he only left in the first place because he thought I could do better. It really destroyed me inside. I’ve done awful things. I’ve cut, I’ve lied, I’ve threatened to kill myself, I’ve tried to blackmail him and I’ve used other people. I feel worthless, unattractive, unable to […]
I know my life if no picnic. I really have no room to complain when you think of the grand scheme of things. It’s really pretty selfish for me throw this lifelong pity party for myself but frankly it’s gotten to the point where I don’t care. Yes there are people who have no one to love or care for them. There are people who are tormentented by people they are supposed to love or even complete strangers. Some people wake up not knowing where they’ll get their next meal or sleeping curled up in the rain. There are soldiers thousands and thousands of miles […]
Well I dont know if ive had the roughest life matter of fact I havent, but Ive been through the prison system 3 times and have been homeless on the street for what seemed like forever before I got my family back and got off of drugs. I thought that my life would get better I even felt like I found god, but now Im always questioning myself about different thins like I got a girlfriend and she is awesome and I thought I would feel better about that but I dont. I have crazy thoughts and I dont let anyone know because I dont […]
So I finally get to hang out with my best friend again..who has always been optimistic and for that I love her! But since shes already depressed because of recent guy trouble and Ive already been depressed months because of guy things..We just decided to have a pity party and feel bad for each other.
Probably not an effective method of dealing with stuff..but eh it works.
After surviving I realized how much I really do want to die. I seriously hate 99.9% of the world. If I don’t let my anger out soon,I’ll burst. I just have to make it to August. Counselors and medicine is bull. I just can’t wait to be dead,I feel as if I have lived my life. When people say “you’re to young to die” I stop and think,what that really means. 13 is old to me. I’m not throwing a pity party. Tell me why I’m so depressed.
I’ve had about a week of feeling completely robotic. Â I just keep doing things to distract myself from my own head. Â It’s seems as though as long as my hands are occupied, my brain is going to stay quiet. Â But I have to go to bed eventually, I need to sleep. Â I have so much time to myself. Â I like being by myself, but the thoughts are hard to control.
I had a bad day a couple days back from this one (worse than the usual bad), and I let loose for the first time in a long time. Â I cut 26 times, all in places […]
i dont know what to write, say or even think right now. all i know is that i am tired, not in the physical sense although it it exhausting to wake up every morning knowing it is going to be the same bull shit that i have been putting up with to long. medication hasnt helped, mostly because i cant afford to stay on it, hospitals dont work-twice now at least, and friends dont work because nobody wants to be bothered, which is why its called “pity party for one”. I AM DONE. i dont want the attention of fake people saying they care knowing […]
I will make this quick because I’m preparing to die any minute. I’ve become so fed up with the world—with all the people who said they’d be there for me when I needed them. I’ve fought with depression for years and its finally got the better of me. I sit here writing this feeling myself drift in and out of consciousness after taking 12 Oxycodon pills and slitting my wrist and I’m kind of upset I’m getting blood all over my keyboard. The love of my life doesn’t love me, isn’t that a pity party everyone goes through? Only I’m not sure people truly understand […]