I got drunk on Vodka last night and today I want to die. It’s Halloween. How fitting!
I see no hope for my life other than to just be depressed for another 40 years. No idea how long I’ll live. But it really is a miserable existence.
The only break I get is when I get stoned. When I get stoned I can handle it.
WHAT THE FUCK ONE DIRECTION FANGIRLS? WHAT THE FUCK?
Cut for Zerrie? Really? Have you gone mad? He is getting married to someone he loves. He is HAPPY.
And it insults me that you DARE call yourselves cutters. You have NOTHING to cry over. Sorry to burst your bubble, but YOU NEVER HAD A CHANCE WITH HIM BEFORE.
I’m insulted to be quite honest. I cut because I actually have problems. YOU don’t. It pisses me off.
Justin Bieber smoked pot, you cut.
Zayn Malik wins the girl, you cut.
Mitch Lucker DIES, I stay sane, and you still call me an emo dyke who’s pathetic.
Fuck you. Just FUCK YOU ALL.
Don’t […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Rip currents choking me constantly. No matter the amount of pot smoked, or the amount of Prozac consumed. Torturous and stabbing thoughts barge into my mind and kill the newborn happiness and peace with their burning hot swords. The pain is sour, hot, liquid fire. It erodes the walls of my mind that act as a nursery to the best parts of me; the healthy parts of me. Trying with all of it’s might not to tumble over and lose the battle, the walls of my mind rattle and shake to stay erect and guard over my inner happiness. It sends shock waves down my […]
having these strange “visions” popping up in my head. i see myself floating face down in the river. i see myself with a gun shot wound. i see myself at my funeral. all of these images are just coming in it seems at random. i am not consciously thinking about suicide. but apparently some part of me is. the interesting part is that i am not afraid of these thoughts. i am not upset by them. they are just there. potential outcomes. seems odd that these thoughts have become mundane almost. nothing new under the sun. so what, who cares? maybe i am just becoming […]
therapy sessions are getting heavy. considering hypnosis to look into possible abuse. i have been using pot to numb myself-trying to escape from myself. thinking gets me in trouble-the more i think the more i believe the abuse happened. it is scary to believe. opening pandora’s box. i don’t know if i am strong enough to handle what comes out of this. i think about suicide a lot. thinking about other means to an end. the gun option would require a little work. but there are other possibilities within easy reach. there is this feeling of impending doom i can’t seem to shake. been having […]
“It’s a new day”, she thinks.
Open the blinds, the sun is shinning. She grabs her laptop, opens up itunes and puts some happy song playing.
“This will be a better day, it has to be.”
Hops up in the shower, singing along with the music, feeling the water wash away all the bad stuff. It almost seems like everything is okey, like the darkness is starting to go away. Her long hair is all pretty, and she looks at the mirror comtemplating herself.
“Maybe today someone will understand, maybe today someone will truly be there for me. Maybe I won’t be alone anymore.”
The music is still playing while […]
Since this whimsy little Domino can’t think for himself.
All remember my ‘Razor Sharp’ True Story? Basically, it’s about my cousin Hailey and my Dad purposely pissing me off by giving me headaches with smoking their pot/weed. Well, recently I figured out Hailey’s age; 19 years old. Can that change my chances of getting them arrested if I called the cops on them?
Also, Next True Story will be out by tonight.
In my last little ‘True story’ I wrote, I talked of a girl named Ashley. She was once a very beautiful tomboy brunette in elementary school. By high school, Ashley was replaced by a girl who is sex- crazed and drug addicted. She tried to get me in trouble, by trying to get me to go to the mall for homecoming tux. I ended up not going, and it was a good decision not to go.
Anyways, this story is about weed/pot (I can’t tell the difference between them.), my dad, and my cousin. Because I hate my cousin so, I’ll use her real name; Hailey.
A […]
Well, I don’t like to say the word “suicide” because it has always had negative connotations in my life. My family is comprised of a bunch of cold-hearted, sarcastic Argonauts with strong wills and drive, so we see suicide as pathetic. And the twist: I’ve felt suicidal since day one. The inner conflict of the way I was raised and the way I feel is certainly nothing short of overwhelming. I’ve always wanted different things from the people around me and consequentially I’ve felt stifled, suppressed, and unwelcome in my environment for years. I have very few friends, and the ones I do have I […]
I can’t get this feeling to go away. I feel bitter, I feel lost, I feel helpless.. I want to drink myself into a coma. I try so hard to make everyone happy even though everything is literally falling apart all around me. My best friend’s sister died 3 months ago in a drunk driving accident, she was 19.  even though we weren’t that close, she was still like an older sister to me. and I have never seen someone so young and so beautiful be so still and so lifeless. she didn’t even look like herself at all.. it haunts me everyday, all I can […]
I have friends . Family ect . I had a rough child hood but it made me the strong person I am today . I can handle abuse , problems, conflict . Or at least on the surface . I smoke about an eigth a day of weed to mello out and drink when I can’t smoke . I use to use other drugs till I realized I was only letting “them” win by making myself look like the dirtbag they made me sound like . So I stick to my pot and alcohol although I have a struggle everyday. I feel like I dot […]
im droping everything im getting blamed for everything in this househole because of me smokeing pot and getting into counseling and all this shit the money issues aremy fault im dropping out of school and moveing out i cant take the shit here anymoreim just a fucking worthless piece of shit to everyone anyway maybe i should just fucking kill myself already
Alright im 19 years old. You guys on here think you’ve been threw stuff? My Bio dad abannded me when i was born. Another man Adopted me and called me his. Only for me to find out it really wasnt him who was my dad. Brother died of cancer. I pretty much raised him. I have attempted suicide many times and i believe that it has put me in an inbetween of this and the next life. I look around and everything seems darker. The whole world just angier.
When i began expiermenting with drugs i did many things. Ive done anywhere from pot/DMT/Spice/Coke and about […]
My girlfriend is leaving for camp right now, for a week, with no communication and without me. I’d love to go with her – I tried to, but my parents lagged signing me up for the camp, until finally we missed the deadline.
My parents keep telling me, “It’s only a week – you two spend too much time together anyway, you’ll survive,” but that doesn’t stop me from crying. I love her, and I miss her. We rely on each other to take care of each other, since both of our lives are overwhelming shitpiles. Just the thought of a week with absolutely no communication with her kills me inside.
I know she’ll come […]
I know this is stupid but I had to make a poem for english and I worked for days on this becaue I tried so hard not to write about anything too deep since we had to explain the meaning being conveyed in the poem… So I guess if you’re feeling sad search or draw or think up a rainbow because rainbows make me happy and this is what happens to me when I see one… And also just to let you know this is a scene I set out of me walking to school…
As I search for that rainbow
Vengeful clouds devour the sky
Chill infects my […]
ive lost everything. My money, my friends, my family, my job. People keep telling me “oh you’re only 16 you’ve got your whole life ahead of you” but I know that’s total bs. Of those 16 years, I’ve been depressed for 6 and I’ve wanted to die for 4. I don’t want to see what life brings in 30 years. Because I already know what it’s gonna be like. Me miserable, alone, broke, probably homeless living off booze weed and ramen I cook using trash fires and a pot I stole from walmart. Trying to find a way to die but unable to actually do […]
someone very close to me decided to tell the school i had a hitlist (which i didnt have) they found the pot i bought instead sent me to counseler after sduspending me and pressign charges so i decided to answer eveything truthfully and i showed my cuts and burns and they are now makeing me do counseling after trying to put me in a psych ward and i honestly cant take shit anymore they treat me like im some kind of fucking freak in a circus i want out i just cant fucking do this shit anymore
I just really don’t know what to do anymore. It’s harder for me to think now, there’s just some kind of block in my mind. I stare off into space for long periods of time without realizing it, and when i snap out of it, i don’t remember what i was looking at, what i thought about during that time, or how long i was like that. Every time i imagine how life would be different if certain things changed, i break down. i break down a lot. i stopped being able to write well. it’s almost summer now, and im terrified because last year […]
I have never been rich. There was never a time where my mom had money to throw away. We always have had just enough. But it has never been this bad. My mom has never really bothered me with financial problems. Usually if we are late on a bill or something she just finds a way to pay it. But its gotten to the point where there is no way. My step dad doesn’t work enough to pay for everything and my moms disability check barley pays 1 bill. Everyday something new is getting cut off. Now my mom is selling pot to pay the […]
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