Please do not judge me on this letter, I am only curious as to what all this means.
Lately I have been feeling like SOMETHING bad had happened when I was a child or any other time but I cannot shake this feeling away.
I have a weird fascination with the whole sexual abuse, predator/little girl, etc. (Now, when I say fascination I do not mean I like it any way shape or form or wish it upon others because I think that is sick and anyone who believes its ok is messed up) but I find myself thinking about it and wanting to research it to get more answers.
I feel like I might have been subject to possible sexual abuse as a child, but I also want to doubt that because…that’s horrible.
As a child my mom said I had come back from a family event (I was always a good kid) and just kept crying and crying and crying when I was never know to cry about anything. After that anything that got on my hands wether it be sand, dirt, candy, ice cream, anything messy I would flip shit and have to clean them. Obviously this is not normal for a kid because kids are known to be messy and not give a care.
I have had dreams and there is such vivid thoughts, almost memories,Â about me being in a van at the age of 11 being hurt but that cant be possibly true.
I have heard about repressed memories and how they come to light once your brain thinks you are ready to handle the trauma.
I am so confused by all of this. If anyone has any knowledge about repressed memories or anything of the sort please share with me. The internet cant always be trusted with its information.
Thank you. Any advice or info please email me—> firstname.lastname@example.org