Lamenting silently in my room. Had a serious mood swing. One moment I was happy and at ease and the next I just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry. My brother says that it isn’t okay to cry. Is that true? Is it bad to cry? I’m pressing charges on my friends’ cousins’ for sexual harassment. I didn’t do anything to them. In fact, I never ever spoke to them before. My grandmother won’t talk to me. She waited to tell me that supper was done after it got cold. Yeah, she really loves me huh? In a way I don’t blame her. I […]
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Pressing Charges
False praise kills. Â I am told often that I am talented blah, blah blah. Â I can’t believe this. Â To do so would be arrogant. Â My inner circle does tell the truth. Â Significant other does not touch me because I am too fat for his liking. Â I was a size 00 when we met. Â I now wear a 2. Â He says he can only love me if I am thin and blonde. Â He says I am stupid. Â I’m in a doctoral program because at one time I wanted to prove to him that I was not as stupid as he says I am. Â Â There are […]
School is almost the day after tomorrow. I haven’t finished my homework and I am stressing.
Yesterday I fell into a random little depressed state where I couldn’t sleep or speak to anyone. This morning my sister went to the family counselor about her cycling coach who ended up being a perverted pedophile. She’s now pressing charges. While they were gone I was lying in bed thinking. I was thinking about what would happen if I overdosed while they were out or if I cut my wrists and didn’t stop bleeding until I was dead. The urge was the greatest it had been in a while.
I […]