I want to die soon. I was born with Cerebral Palsy and suffered all the usual torment from other kids when I was growing up. I struggled to get a job but never gave up. I managed to live a fairly “normal” life. Girls were happy to ride in my boat or on my bike or get a lift in my car – but date? Never! I finally found a desperate woman and married, had two kids who she abused (along with abusing me) and eventually I left her. I had a good job, had respect, self-esteem and was happy to start again. Now at […]
Tag:
Rats
well lets start this fucking bullshit shall we. Okay so what the fuck do you do when everything you touch or do fails? what the hell do you do when girlfriend after girlfriend leaves you? After they use the fuck out of you? Or roomates who wish to rip you off at every turn? what the fuck do you do when you’ve cried to the point where you can’t anymore? I fucking feel nothing anymore no joy no excitement no passion for my favorite things no expectation for good to happen nothing ever goes right anymore but when something fucked up happens to me it […]
here i go again, pathetically begging for some one to give a rats backside if i am here or not.
i keep getting told i have an answer for everything. if i did, do they not think i would be able to help myself.
im nearly 37, have zero friends. a brother too busy to help (3 and a half hours away) a mum who is too busy going out with her friends to care, (4 and a half hours away) have had to move house (broken relationship), can only afford to live in the rough part of town – so dont go out the front door. […]
it’s my birthday this friday, 26 I think. I’m 99% sure 26 but I don’t want to shatter the veil of ignorance I’m under by calculating it or trying to remember how old I’ll be. I remember rhyming about being 25 some time ago but that could have been 2 years ago.
Anyway, I’m moving today or tomorrow. My odyssey in my mothers jungle of an apartment is over, hopefully. I thought it was over once before but their were rats in the ceiling of the new place. I’ve gotta be sure to do another check at this current place I want, but it seems […]
I don’t know who I am, really. I don’t understand myself at times. Sometimes I think about diagnosis too much. Try to fit myself into a label. But the truth is, I’m a human being. I shouldn’t care about ‘what’ I am, I should care more about who I am. So what I lack some things most people have? For most part, I’m just as human as you are. I might be a little more logical than most of you, I tend to only use intellect and not emotions. I might be into some stuff most of you find weird (true crime, for example). But […]
I know friends can’t be replaced with anything else. But if you don’t have any friends, you can at least try to find something to love. That’s why I decided to get pets. We already have pets, but none of them are really my pets. The cats don’t like me because as a child I didn’t know how to play with animals. I would accidently(!) scare and hurt them. And the dog likes me, but I feel no connection with dogs. I’ve wanted my own pet for a while now, first I wanted to get a bearded dragon (it’s a kind of lizard), but they […]
Okay, y’all, important safety tip. If the psychiatrist gives you a prescription for ant-depressants, you don’t let them write it with ZERO REFILLS. And certainly take some care to ensure you don’t run out of a Friday night so you have to wait FOUR DAYS for your pharmacist to get said psychiatrist’s approval.
I’m just sayin’. Seriously, I could actually hear my eyeballs moving. Do you know just how weird that is?!?
And certainly don’t make me wait two weeks to see my new therapist one-on-one. Insurance won’t cover another week of IOP? Put it on my tab, that’s what HSA is for.
Yeah. Not a good day. […]
so tired. My apartment has rats in the ceiling.
I had 2 weeks of peace as I’d moved into my new apartment. Before then, I was at my mothers for 2 month, at my dads friends house int he burbs for 1 month and a half and then ina shitty, insect fiiled apartment before that(for about 8 months).
Before that I had the dream apartment in the dream neighborhood but I had to move because I was paying too much rent. The cost of perfection was half my monthly pay. Since Jan 1 2011 I’ve been cold(uncomfortable), but like I said, I had two wonderful weeks […]