i remember when life was fun, it was exciting and adventurous. i remember as a little girl, sitting in class dreaming of growing up and travelling the world. i remember dreaming of the places i would go, and the things i would do. i remember dreaming of my career, and the love of my life. but now, i sit here in year 11. life seems to have gone so quickly, i walk through the hallways at school as a  nobody. invisible and unseen. bad thoughts running through my head, constantly. life seems to be a burden now, a task, something i must endure. yet no […]
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Ray Of Sunshine
Today has been better than yesterday was for her. No yelling, no fighting, no hurtful words were propelled at her.
Last night was rough on her. She had to meet her regulars, some nice, some not so much. There was always those men who were very aggressive and since they were paying they felt entitled to anything they wanted. The girl would stop arguing after the first hit, she would stop resisting and let herself float into subspace waiting till it was over. The girl would awaken with noticeably black bruises up and down her arms, her neck, and down her legs.
She is afraid to go home, she […]
By any means, I am not a ray of sunshine. I can’t help it. I’m only a teenager and I’ve basicly given up on life. I have no hopes for the future.
I used to want to be a journalist. I wanted to move back to Ireland and write about everything and anything. I wanted to get married and have a kid or two. I just wanted something out of life, but now I feel nothing. I feel numb. I just don’t know what I actually want. I had plans to do marvelous things with my best friends. But now, since one’s dead and the other […]
Everyday thoughts of taking my life are becoming more of a reality to me. I worry tho about my sweet daughter jenni who is the happiest little ray of sunshine I have been blessed with. She’s 22 years old now, lives with her boyfriend and just lives life. My 20 year old son is so lost in this world trying to find his way. He doesn’t really need me because he’s he’ll bent to do every thing his way. He’s a good kid tho. My youngest daughter is 18. She just graduated from hs and thinks she knows everything. […]
Your smile has been on our minds. Your positive attitude and incredible sense of humor is forever embedded in our hearts. Even people who barely knew you are deeply touched by your actions. You lost hope like many of us do. Maybe life kicked you  down one too many times.  Maybe you couldn’t find help in any of your friends. You’re heart was torn and you couldn’t mend it, but there was hope for you. You were a ray of sunshine among us. I hope you finally found peace. I hope our escape mended your heart and you can finally be happy. I […]
Have you ever…
Laid on your bed at night and just cried?
Cried because you’re stupid, because you just aren’t good enough.
Cried harder when you’ve counted all your flaws from head to toe, to the point where you’re in so much pain, physical pain feels better.
Cried because the things your friends tell you or call you sarcastically actually hurt sometimes…
Cried because your family is dysfunctional, but you’re just a kid who can’t do shit about it.
Cried as they tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself when a lot of people have it worse than you.
Cried because you don’t want to be a burden and contribute to […]
Hello to everyone reading my post. I only have two more days that I am able to access my computer, so please share any thoughts you would like. I will not be offended. I lost my fiance to his choice of the exit bag on September 15th of 2011. I was completely blindsided as we were happy and making plans. I woke up to police calls, investigations, and a lot of texts from him declaring his everlasting love. The funny thing is I was always the destined one to go, I believe in a life for a life, and would have gladly given mine. He was […]