I can’t make it anymore. I always come back to the same point. When I’m alone, I see that my life is pointless and worthless. and I want to die again. Why? I try to live. I try to find the reason to live. I try so hard. But those thoughts…They don’t leave me…Why do I always come back to the same point?
reason to live
When dose the pain end drowning in thoughts going to sleep praying by some miracle you don’t wake up and waking up trying to find a good enough reason to live but you can find anyone iv just had enough what’s the point why am I fighting so much to live if I’m just live to die so unhappy what do u do when your life is a mess and all u think about is death how can u live this way
Is there ever really a perfect time to do it? I think we all wait till things get so bad that we completely run out of resources and patience – and then we do it. I always thought that’s how things are. That’s what I learned suicide is – running out of the resources to cope.
But what if I am at that point? All I think about is suicide. All I want is death. I have nothing to live for. I have recently run out of every reason to live. The one person that gave me hope for a future, gave me reason to believe I will have children with him, a real, good family – left me for his ex. They were only together for 3 months, while we were for 2 years. He told me today he never loved me, that I’m a disgusting human being. I had no dreams but to have a family with him. It’s not a case of need – I didn’t really need him. I just have no purpose in life now. I’m just drifting. I’m completely numb, only my heart hurts. If I jumped at a train in busy London – I would only be viewed as a hassle. I don’t think there is a perfect time. I just think a suitable time is coming for a decided action. I just… don’t know what to tell the people I love.
The harder I try to find a reason to live the more the world spits in my face…
I do not know what i am doing with my life. I find life pointless and irrelevant. People are bitchy and I find no reason to live anymore.
It is not so much that I want to die, it is that I have no will to live. I should feel very blessed with everything that I have in my life. I have an excellent job and live in a beautiful home that I built with my own two hands. I achieved a lot of success by the time I was 25. My problem is that I now no longer have a purpose to live. With no purpose, what is the point? I am so alone and depressed all the time. I feel like I am taking up space on this earth that is meant for someone else. I have lived in this large house all alone for seven years now. I have no love, I have looked and looked extremely hard. It always gets serious then ends with the speach of “it is not you, its me”. But let’s be honest, I know it is me. I hate my life and myself. I have tried to end my life two other times. The most recent about 18 months ago. I woke up in the hospital but was discharged shortly after physical recovery. I don’t necessarily want to die, I would like to find a reason to live. I think I am just being realistic in realizing that I have no place here. I have a plan in place, I have taken care of all my final expenses and have my bills paid ahead for over a year. I am not sure why I am posting here, I know exactly what is going to happen. Some people who have no clue are going to tell me why it is not worth it, others will somewhat understand, all the while not really getting anything out of this.
Well. Short story is,, I am suicidal. I have no reason to live anymore. I don’t know what to do….
Hey my name is Olivia and I’m 15. Lately a lot of shit has been going on in my life and I’m finding it harder and harder to find a reason to live. So much has been going on with bullying, cyberbullying and self harm. I’ve lost a lot of friends because of it and I don’t think I can go on like this much longer. I really need someone to talk to, someone who understands, I’ve heard some people call it depressions buddies but yeah, I need someone. And if anyone ever needs to talk or needs help then you can kik me anytime. My kik is dying_butterflys
I truly do want to die. I feel bad for thinking it but I wonder since I reconnected with my mom if she would want to die too. She has more resources and could probably get ahold of a gun. I’m almost certain her religious beliefs keep her from any thoughts of suicide and she would never touch a gun either. I only thought of how she has nothing left the same as I have no reason to live. I can’t take the agony of being alone and never knowing what it’s like to hold someone I love. The man I love is still complaining about how alone he is, how no one cares, how desperately he wants someone to be there for him, etc etc all while ignoring me like I don’t exist.
I think most of us here have a lot in common. Details might be different from situation to situation, but at the core there are a lot of similarities.
Some here have a reason to live, and I think that is great. Some, like me, don’t. And that sucks.
But, for most of us in that second group, we have another thing in common. There is that one thing that could change that.
For me that one thing is quite simple. If only if she would just be my friend again. Not asking for anything more than that. Just friendship.
Even if the possibility of getting back together wouldn’t be an option. Even if it had to be a secret. Even if it was communicating just once a week. I would gladly take it. Beggers can’t be choosers.
Maybe even if one of the kids wanted to communicate. That would certainly be enough for me. Any connection with them would be enough.
Sure, the pain and despair would still be there. But I would have a reason to live again. I would have my will to live back intact.
And that would be enough to fend off my suicidal thoughts. Because without that, it’s just a matter of time before I succeed.
I don’t necessarily want to die…but I hate my life. I can’t change it. I am a shitty person. I don’t know what to do. Is there any reason to live?
I just want to die. I feel so tired of everything. I can’t find any reason to live. I feel miserable. I can’t describe how I hate myself.
the only thing that’s been keeping me here so far is my family, and the chance that they would really go through a lot of pain and grief if i died. but lately i find that living for other people is not enough anymore. i’m barely hanging on as it is. each days gets more and more hopeless. more and more i just want to end it, and sometimes i doubt the people in my life would really mourn me all that much anyway.
Ok, so. My google search failed obviously to find me a suicide pact. But while I found this I guess I’ll share my story~
I might kill myself. I have all the reason to, and not like most. Herp derp, I know people have troubles but most people that look at middle schoolers or high schoolers and listen to their “reasons” for suicide and generally agree that they have no reason to and they should live.
I /actually/ have little reason to live.
I /actually/ have reasons.
I most likely /actually/ cant find happiness in this life.
So I spent the first moments of the new year on the phone to Lifeline (a UK service) and the only thing they were interested in was persuading me there’s reason to live or having me committed.
But what if you’re past that point? What if you’re determined to die and just want to talk to someone impartially? I feel it’s disrespectful to completely ignore the suicidal persons issues or pretend they don’t exist just to be a hero(ine).
So I’m still here questioning my suicide method, to sit drunk at the edge of a tower block, take a cocktail of tablets, then inhale a huge amount of chloroform and fall backwards 150ft onto concrete. Would I suffer through this method? If I survived the impact would the chemicals prevent the doctors from saving me?
It’s weird to think this life of failure and misery could be ended tonight, I just hope it’s over quickly and there are no surprises on the other side.
3 months ago my fiance committed suicide. My whole world has been torn apart. He was my soul mate. And I miss him so much. I’m going through so much right now and don’t know where to turn. On top of that my daughter walks all over me and I just feel like giving up. She hates me and I just ask myself why am I still here. I have no reason to live on. I was the one who could never understand how a person could kill themselves. But I do now. When your at your lowest and it seems like no one is there, no one you can talk to, no one loves you, and you just want the pain to stop. You want it to be over. I have prayed and prayed. I love my children but I’m in so much pain right now and I just don’t see a way out. I don’t wanna hurt anyone because I’ve seen the aftermath of suicide. But I can’t live like this. God please forgive me.
I think my friend just found out that i liked men but he is homophobic and he was my frien since 3ed grade im in 8th grade now fuck im going to suicide now everything is ruin hes a snitch i fucking dont care if i go to hell anymore im done byee untill i see a good reason to live
Soo i’m 13 and i noticed i have no reason to live because my parents hate me (seriously, they freaking hate me), my brother that loved me so much is now treating me like a stranger and i have “friends” actually hates me. I don’t get it. I don’t get the reason that i choose to live, the boy that i like is the only reason i live. Why? he treats me soo much better than my “friends” and family.
I need advice on how to be happy, because i am sooooo close of taking my own life. so please help me, i need you.
I know what your thinking , I’m so young I have a life ahead of me. I don’t. My childhood was tossed between my divided parents who hurt each other by hurting me. My stepfather hit me , my mom told me she wished I had never been born. Then when I was 15 I moved in with my dad and his wife thinking that they wanted me me because they loved me , they just wanted to stop paying child support. I was alone I had a few friends , but then he came into my life, my boyfriend I had found a reason to live to make it. We where together for a year and two months then he woke up one day and found that he didn’t love me anymore. I gave this man my body , my heart, my soul. I was expecting his baby and I didn’t tell him, it didn’t matter I miscarried. He refuses to talk to me , I’ve decided that tonight I will die it’s not worth this pain anymore. It will be quick and I just wish I could have told him I love him one last time . Goodbye world goodbye heart goodbye my love
Another day, another reason to live.
Another way, another reason I give.
Today is my Mother’s birthday. It’s also another day where I have changed my mind about ending my life. All the wheels were set in motion, all of the plans were made. Then I was reminded of what today was. I worry about what my death will do to my mother on a normal day, but I can’t use her birthday. So today is just another failed attempt.
It was so peaceful this week, planning everything leading up to today. Now that I know I have to live on another day my world has come crashing down again. I haven’t gotten out of bed in almost 24 hours, I’ve had 4 or 5 panic attacks, I have approximately 80 new cuts on my chest, and still I can’t stop feeling.
I don’t want to find another reason to live. I want to find another day to start planning for. I don’t want to end up in my 60’s, having dealt with these feelings over and over again for my whole life, just because I kept finding another reason to go on.