I have intentions to be productive for myself. I want to be helpful and do right, for myself and others. I like to impress and make people around me proud. I have a standard to live up to. My family expects my fullest respects, and endlessly utter my continuous responsibilities. My friends just expect me to be there. Usually I’m quiet, but if I’m around long enough most are bound to get a piece of my mind. After that I kind of just do what it takes to blend in. Even though I’m more than use to sticking out. The feeling is like: hope–To be […]
“The leader and figurehead of the opposition and main target of vilification was Leon Trotsky. Serge left Vienna and sped to join the struggle for the soul of the revolution. Discussion, not to speak of opposition, was stifled. Votes were formalities, forced through by the newly created majority – the Lenin levy, 250,000 new recruits to the party who owed everything to the party apparatus. Poets, worker militants and intellectuals were committing suicide from despair. The other side of repression was corruption. By the winter of 1927..”
I’ve come to the realization that living with these suicidal thoughts will probably never go away. This is my first time trying out an online community for suicide/depression or what have you because I feel I am running out of options. I feel I have no one who I can talk to in my life about these issues due to the deep shame that comes with them. Even though I feel I have a good support system, I don’t like feeling like I’m burdening those I love with all this I go through on a daily basis.
Getting to the point, I’ve realized that I am too scared to actually […]