Every time I get a real good feeling about the right woman,Â I get shot down. Its always been “Your nothing”,Â “You don’t deserve her”, and such. AndÂ i’m really ready to just end my life.Â There’s no point in love or my life, im sick and tired of amounting to nothing. Being nothing is all I’ve ever been and all I ever will be. Every love has been a big f%#@ingÂ dud, a flat line, another piece of me I just give away. I’ve been in this path of hate for 8 years now. And all its been is hate, anger, and depression. I see no point in existing now, my family would be better off, I would be too. All I am is a nuisance, an ungrateful piece of sh%t on this so called Earth. I believe my time has ended. Why live a life of something pointless?
It saddens me to see these young kids considering suicide as an option.Â You have a long time left to live and you’ve got rampant hormones.Â You need to ride it out and see what the future provides.
Sadly I have seen what the future provided and now that I’m 45, I’m not sure I want to continue.Â I’m going on my second divorce.Â I haven’t had a sex life in 20 years.Â I spent 10 of those years looking for the right woman and 10 of them married to the wrong woman.Â The prime of my life has passed me by and I got robbed.
The promise of youth is gone and I have no prospects for the future.Â I have a job and a house but my life is empty.Â All I wanted was a lifetime passionate affair with one woman and I’ve failed.Â My main goal at this point is to survive long enough to settle my divorce so my heirs get the property I have left.Â I’ve got a 13 year old dog and when he goes, I’m going to have to seriously think about going with him.
I don’t have anything left in front of me.