You would think it doesn’t hurt anymore. When people come in my life, gain my trust and friendship, then rip away a piece of me as they walk away like I never meant anything to them. But the truth is, it hurts so much more each time it happens. It hurts so bad that I feel numb until another part of me disappears. It hurts so bad because of the feeling that I only ever made friends from pity and I cared about them more than myself. It hurts so bad that it puts me almost to tears, but then a dark part of me […]
Tag:
ripped away
The regret and sadness is really hard today (and most days). Things could be so different, better- maybe not good, but better.
As it is, I may never see my ex again. She’s my best friend, despite everything that’s happened, still the best relationship I’ve ever had. I can only hope that after some time she might be willing to speak to me. It’s so painful to think that if I had just left things alone, if I hadn’t forced her to speak to me, then we might’ve actually started talking again in February.
And I still would’ve had my dog, my baby. This hurts so much. […]
It’s as if all I can do is cry.
Even just spending maybe two hours with my family for Christmas was hard. Pretending to be okay even though I feel like half my family is missing- how could I be spending Christmas without her?
How could I be spending my life without her?
It still feels unreal; I think of her, of memories with her and I can’t believe that she could leave me. She called me her wife. She said I was for forever. I just can’t get over the idea that she’s gone. The idea that she could leave me, that we wouldn’t be together, was […]
Cold and blue
Body bags
Filled
Drowned, frozen, dead
Red/blue lights flash
Tears fall from my lidded eyes
Down, down
Hitting you with a splash
I hold you close for the last time
You’re ripped away
Down to the morgue
Empty
Without
I’ll try
I know it won’t work
Soon I’ll be with you
Passing on
I’m missing
The worst thing about a break-up isn’t necessarily the fact that you broke up with “x” person. It’s the memories left behind. As I sit in my increasingly frigid apartment, I remember our time sitting in the spot where I am now, watching Top Gear and enjoying each others company. Thats the worst part for me.
I spent the first 21 years of my life living in hell. There is a higher power with a wicked sense of humor. Every attempt ended in utter disappointment. Someone had to be laughing somewhere. The shining moment where I thought that I’d met someone who would always support me, […]
No idea what to do anymore. I feel so broken and hopeless. Society is doomed. No one is honest. No one is trustworthy. Most people are too drama filled to even be friends with them. I spend my nights looking at others posts on here. Looking at ways to go painlessly. Sitting alone in my room. Whenever I have something I want it gets ripped away. The universe doesn’t want me to be happy. Two years with someone, they cheat. Three years with someone, they cheat. Finally get engaged to someone, they get Prego, found out they cheated and they also lost the baby. I […]
Its so hard to understand something you just cant get a grip on.take life for example,it truly is a beautiful thing…but at the same time it can be so….cruel.emotions are a great subject.they make us happy and sad….angry and loving.and yet it is these very same emotions that can do so much damage.let me ask you a question.why?….why is it that we’re given happiness on a silver plater just so it can be ripped away?…why is it that this emotion called happiness is dangled in the face of those who can never have it?.To me the answer is clear…you have to fight….the happiness you may […]
All I want is to end it all. To simply not be. My whole life I’ve been given everything you could ever want, but I was never happy. No one understands it’s always the same thing: why? That’s so selfish. You’re life is so perfect, you have no reason to be depressed. Things can seem so different from the outside than they do from the center of the battlefield. My mind is constantly racing I never sleep I never get a break from my thoughts. I have been sad and angry for so many years with little bits of happiness yet every time it’s ripped […]
I’m tired of being taken advantage of and sacrificing everything that has defined me. The lies, betrayal, and overall the feeling of stupidity has destroyed my way of life. I never have put so much depth into thoughts, creating these insane scenarios, having my mind beat me till I’m black and blue. People. The more I surround myself with people, the worse everything gets. Taunted, ridiculed, and abused for absolutely no reason at all. The second that happens, I instantly feel lower than others, comparing myself to others. Deep down, I’m fucking raging with hate and  desperately seeking for some kind of justification for all […]