so here i am on the internet rock bottom so to say… first of i am not from america or england so my english will be bad but i need to get this off my chest …
So where to start? the fact that every day i feel worthless a big fat loser with no future unworthy of love? or that almost every night before i go to bed i think on how where and when i could kill myself? oh and dont worry this isnt a sad story its freaking hilarius so lets start i have a decent life i mean shure i only have […]
Hello to whoever is reading this. My name is Brooke and I am 19 years old. This is my very first blog in my life, not quite sure what I am doing. I wanted to start just because I am going through a rough time right now in my life and I want people to hear my story.
I want to talk to everyone about suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death between 15-24 year olds. Nearly 30,000 Americans take their own lives every year. An average of one person dies by suicide every 16.2 minutes. Crazy right? What causes people do do […]
So every single morning, I wake up. Obviously, either wise i wouldnt be here right now and you wouldn’t be reading this crappy entry. but oh well. anyways, i do my normal routine, get ready for school, stare at myself in the mirror, criticize myself, decide whether or not i should skip breakfast, blahblahblah. sounding familiar? .. then i get to school, dont know who to be around with in the morning, should i hang out with my backstabbing friends , or be a loner and get looks and shit? i choose the latter most times. school goes pretty fine, heart hurts everytime i see […]
Please read my entire post before commenting…
My whole life has been me slipping in and out of depression, so I know what it’s like finally feel renewed and pull out of depression. That said, I’ve never felt this bad before about myself… it’s unprecedented for me to feel THIS bad. You know how people say they’ve hit rock bottom? Well, to give you perspective, I feel like rock bottom was the thing that hit me on the head, that’s how low I am.
So what happened to get me this low? It’s a list of things that have piled on me. 1) I only have $30 […]
I dont want attention. I dont want anyones pity. I dont want people to tell me how I was wronged in this big bad world. I dont want people touching me, hugging me..
I dont want to acknowledge how hard I have been hitting rock bottom for months. Not months, years. Ive been hitting it over and over again, and I think I finally managed to break the ground and go beneath it.
What I really want is for someone to hold me. Not just a hug. I want to be hold all night to wake up in those same arms the next morning. I want […]
This is my first entry on this site; so, instead of giving an elongated sob story about how much my life sucks and appears to be in the sh*tter, I figured I’d give it a different spin to, hopefully inspire those who feel they’ve hit rock bottom. However, I won’t do the complete opposite by telling people to suck it up and take it like a man because I feel everyone has trials and tribulations of varying degrees that I cannot entirely comprehend or judge. Ultimately, we’re all different, and the one thing people on this site have in common that I wholeheartedly […]
A week or two ago I posted here as I was slowly getting overwhelmed with depression. I was ready 2 days ago with a solid plan, rope in my backpack and everything thought through, except for the poor tree that has to be stuck with my lifeless body swaying in the cold wind. But that was easy task to accomplish as there was many trees on my journey. Quite beautiful ones. It would have been a shameful sight for the tree if I would have went through with it.
My problem, which said before, was many and one big on that kept hitting my mind repeatedly […]
I’ve hit it. I’m a 19 year old gay male and i’ve been crying my eyes out for so many nights now. I want to just end it all..I am so miserable and lonely. I’ve brought most of this on myself I guess…i think I have herpes and it fucking disgusts me. I hate these fucking sores on my lips…why did I have to do this to myself? I feel like such a disgusting whore. I miss my exboyfriend and I wish i could have done more for him..instead I fucked up. I fuck everything up. I don’t know why I was brought intothis world…both […]
hello, Â I’ve been sad for quite some time, I’ve attempted to commit so many times, so many different ways. Here’s alittle bit of my background, I was inlove, I had friends, I had a good job. Everything is gone, I’m not happy anymore, life has manage to take everything away from me. Did I cause this? was it my fault that everyone is gone? For the past week I have been researching on different ways to commit, I came across this website and here I am, making my first post.
I think I felt inlove with my eyes close. I knew it was true love, I […]
I’ve hit rock bottom. Depression has been biting me my whole life, and I let it influence me so much, my grades dropped so much I’m getting kicked out of school. Don’t know if I would cry or laugh about it, cause I’m so pathetic.
Anyways, anyone feel they relate? If only this decision to end this bullshit won’t affect my mom, dad, and sister, I would be easily and freely slipping into non existence right now.
If you don’t take away anything else by the time you finish reading this entry, then I hope you at least will take away this one thought that could perhaps be the greatest revelation in your life which you don’t even know about yet; and it’s this…………………………
YOU. MATTER.
Your problems matter. And someone out there does love you even when you think you’ve been rejected, hit rock bottom, and can no longer find comfort in living.
…Hey, been there. Done that. I have the scars on the inside and out to prove it….and no, I don’t care for a repeat either because as much as it lingers […]
I am so tired, please can I sleep? I cannot take it anymore.
I search my entire life to find a home, somewhere, someone, to rest in. Why can’t the world let me be happy? Whenever I become happy about something, someone, I feel that everything goes out of its way to take that happiness away. This is why  it takes me a great amount of time to feel happy. But even still, you let it, them, into your arms again only to realize you were making it up the whole time. No matter how much you deserve happiness, nobody wants to give it to you.
Yesterday I […]
The long, sad story of my self-hate and depression:
I know there’s something wrong with me.. i feel there’s something wrong with me.. there HAS to be something wrong with me. I miss my old self. I miss being normal. I’m just getting more and more pathetic day by day. I can’t really explain what’s happening to me. I try to make sense out of it and i can’t. I’ve heard there’s a period of self-hate during life, but it’s just been getting stronger and stronger. Maybe some people just never grow out of it?
To break it down.. i’m a useless piece of sh_t. I have no […]
So I’ve thought a lot about why my incessant mind always draws me back to ending it.  I’ve been down that thought pattern too many times to know that it accomplishes nothing.  Every time I get to the breaking point, I can’t help but consider my family and those who know me.  They hold my hand back simply by knowing I exist.  I never decide to stay here for myself, but selfishness is so tempting.  To imagine an eternal sleep that never involves the harsh ups and downs that life causes.  That’s why I really do love the “to be or not to be” soliloquy from Hamlet.
I don’t suffer […]
I haven’t been on in a while. For those of you who care, yes I’m still alive. I hit a new low today. I found myself smoking out a window at 2 a.m. I was supposed to quit on march 1st. I didn’t. I can’t. It’s the only thing that calms me down anymore. My 1st family therapy session turned into a complain about how much of a problem I am session. I hate this. All of this. My girlfriend is unwilling to go any further in our relationship, my parents r suspicious of my habits, I went back to cutting after 5 days s.i. […]
I think I’m starting to go insane ._.
I’ve hit rock bottom tonight, I am so unhappy with everything.
I literally just smashed my head with a textbook a few times, took some melatonin and a bunch of advil in hopes it would make me tired. My head hurts now. Judge me if you will, I don’t care anymore. At this point I just want to die.
Where is the bottom, exactly? I’ve been searching for a long time. I sift through the mud at the bottom of this wretched ocean, groping for that metaphorical rock bottom which so eludes me. Every day I find myself digging more desperately than the last, performing pitiful acts of self depreciation, drilling deeper, or perhaps further, in an uncertain direction.
(A cig a day.. eventually, a pack a week.. now a pack a day.. these things take far too long to do the dirty. MAY AS WELL GO SMOKE ONE RIGHT NOW)
I hoped that I would be smothered down here. Or, that some mysterious sea creature […]
Everytime I start to look up
Believe that I am fixable
Trust that I’m wanted for who I am and not what I can do for someone
The rug gets pulled shredded and cremated.
When you knowsomething for a fact beyond a shadowof a doubt
And it turns out to be false,
How can I trust anything?
When is it my turn to have someone in my life that sees positivity in me as I am.
Who will come to me void of ulterior motives
Then again I hate me too as I am.
I dopnt know how I destroyed myself so thoroughly
I can’t even hang myself […]
I very much hope that at least one person
in the entire world reads this,because
it would make me feel as though someone
somewhere gives one single flying fuck about me.
I did a stupid thing I put my heart out there
and ended up getting crushed
So here’s the story is:
Jasmine, her boyfriend James,and his brother Nick where having a
sleep over at jasmines house.They only invited Nick because
Jasmine thought I would come over to keep him company.
He had recently been dumped and he was a bit sad.
But I was at my dads house for the weekend.
So since Nick felt like a third wheel James asked if I would […]
The past 2 years have been hell for me, I cut myself, purged, and binged. The more I did it, the more I realized what I did to myself only made my problems worse. I hit rock bottom when I tried to kill myself… but a song saved me. I realized how stupid I was being and went back to writing music– something I’ve done as long as I can remember. As of today, I have dozens of songs written down and I have 12 about those 2 years that I’m actually going to record and put on an album someday. It really does get […]
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