Tag:

Satisfaction

Maybe writing it will make me feel better, just maybe

by Koaline 10/29/2016

written by Koaline

It’s been months since I’ve started to come here to find comfort, just seeing people as eager to quit this world as me makes me feel better, I felt safe, and comfortable each time I opened up the website, so I’ve decided to create an account too.

My issue is not necessarily coming from a particular event but much more from a profoundly anchored existantial boredom. Each passing day is the same, even though I know there is so much I have not seen? Being human is such a weird experience. There are so many things I want to say I don’t know what to start […]

10/29/2016 3 comments

Rejected

by SamisDead 6/18/2013

written by SamisDead

I put a knife to my wrist i began to cut, i hid my scars so no one saw

i just wanted satisfaction of being in charge of something in life i just want to take my mind off of all this pain

all of my emotional pain, depression and stress. i popped pills i tried to overdose for some reason i only passed out

nothing works it’s like i’ve been denied by death , death wants me to be in this torture but i wont stop until this is all over

6/18/2013 0 comment

What’s left

by owl 6/5/2013

written by owl

What’s left when everything’s over? When you know the answers, when you understand?

When you are over the world, past the reality, into the truth… what’s over?

Why live, why die, when there are no more stages in this game?

Do you know that feel, when you already finished your exam, and everybody around you is still looking for the answers? The emptiness, the satisfaction, the uncertainty…

That feeling is the only thing left.

6/5/2013 0 comment

by hopefuldreamer 5/21/2013

written by hopefuldreamer

I’m kind of feeling bitter and angryÂ I never realized how badly bullying affected me forget bullying for a moment I remember how bad I felt and whenever I felt it was too much I’d try to go to someone to talk about how it made me feel but nobody seemed to take me seriously and stopped talking but the thing is I guess I started to treat myself badly and I began wishing everything about me was different and whenever I hurt emotionally it kind of brought me satisfaction in someway because I felt like someone would eventually care but it never happened so I […]

5/21/2013 0 comment

what stopped me

by live4xp 2/18/2013

written by live4xp

AT THE TIME I FELT:

1. I’m an incompetent and pathetic loser who has ruined his life and will never change because of his own laziness

2. I don’t give a fuck about other people or what they may think or feel , not even those who love and care for me. All I care about is satisfying my own sense of personal justice.

3. All I can think about is how much I hate myself and my existence. The ultimate self-punishment is suicide. These thoughts are driving me nuts and will continue unless I decisively end it NOW.

MY TIMELYÂ EPIPHANIES:

1. I CHOOSE to judge myself the way i […]

2/18/2013 4 comments

Bullies Belong in Hell

by Lost Margaret 2/3/2013

written by Lost Margaret

So many of my problems in adulthood stem from the bullying by the same guy from Kindergarten to Junior High. In Junior High, he got an accomplice who was even meaner. School was hell. I never told anyone, and it’s for the best because who would have done anything to the rich popular kid? Sure I should have been stronger; I should have yelled at them rather than cower in fear. It’s a satisfying visual turning around as they followed me and said cruel things and yelled, “What in the hell is wrong with you cowards?” God I wish I […]

2/3/2013 2 comments

by MichelleJ 1/22/2013

written by MichelleJ

I want to know why my mother chose to keep me alive when I was born? Why did she give me two fuckwit siblings when she only wanted me to start with? She only had my two brothers because they wanted to come to life before me. And now that we’re grown up, they’ve got their own lives, everything they could have, before me.

I hate my two brothers. I wish they were both dead, I hate my Mum and I hate my Dad. My two brothers are fucking cunts, from their conception. I have been a fucking stupid loser from my conception. I want to […]

1/22/2013 0 comment

Quick Question

by JustTooLate 12/14/2012

written by JustTooLate

I am finding that I have to cut deeper or make more cuts to get any satisfaction. I honestly don’t feel pain when I cut until it’s deeper than I ever used to… or unless I make multiple cuts. I don’t cut for blood, but for pain. Is this due to an increase in my pain tolerance from cutting? Or is it something to do with my state of mind? Like becoming addicted or something?

Any help is appreciated

12/14/2012 15 comments

What’s reason gotta do with it?

by plain jane 12/9/2012

written by plain jane

Now I know every one who has ever killed himself or herself never had a good reason to do so (according to others). Still they do….. and will go on taking their own life, rejecting this wonderful gift given by God. Maybe to some this gift is not at all a gift. I don’t see it as a gift. For me life had always been a burden. Humanity is not like a Jane Austin book. It is at most times stark ugly and cruel. There are no happy endings in life just some good stuff followed by a lot of Â bad stuff, then a good […]

12/9/2012 3 comments

That Somebody May Just Be Me.

by winnifred 11/30/2012

written by winnifred

I am 20 years old. I am female. I am a law student. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am confused.

The first time I sat on my bedroom floor with a bowl of pills to swallow I was 13 years old. My Pop had recently succumbed to cancer, I’d lost a friend and I was just feeling awful. I swallowed two and then got scared. I swallowed two pills a day for four years. Every day. The first time was becauseÂ I wanted to see my Pop. Every day after that for four years was just routine. What […]

11/30/2012 1 comment

The end result.

by anthropophobia 11/6/2012

written by anthropophobia

Lately I have found myself predicting the outcome of every event. Â If the outcome is unfavorable then I simply do not want to be a part of it. For instance, if I meet someone, and I know that they will thinkÂ negativelyÂ about me in some light I do not want to get involved with them what so ever. Â I feel like my biggest problem is that I know I will eventually become discouraged about every relationship I have, and because of this I am extremely apprehensive about hanging out with people.

What is most troubling about this is I know people are unpredictable. Â Therefore I know […]

11/6/2012 2 comments

i cant take the hurt

by 911 8/29/2012

written by 911

i have never been the one to believe in suicide, but the feeling of this hurt is overwhelming. its almost like i cant breathe. im a 30ish something female, and i have a great career, children, family and friends. my husband left me earlier this year and my entire life was flipped upside down. i never saw it coming. i later found out that he was indulging in activities with another female. i was a good wife and my family is everything to me. i didnt do anything to deserve this. i dont eat, i have taken time off of […]

8/29/2012 6 comments

Cold Summer-3

by queen827 7/13/2012

written by queen827

I run to this like it’ll truly make things better. but really this is just an escape for a few minutes. i didnt even have to wait a whole day today to come back on here. it was made simple for me earlier today. things got turned upside down again. and again…and again. endure the wrath or change. 2 results. 1 has already been given, but yet satisfaction has not been reached. so you’ll keep burning me. until all my flesh has turned to ashes. and theres nothing left to burn. it is admirable to stand by someone who chooses to burn you. im not […]

7/13/2012 2 comments

A Song on Repeat

by SomeMalaise 7/9/2012

written by SomeMalaise

I’m listening to a song as I work on my project. I do 3D modelling for personal release even if it isn’t comeplete. I’ve been working on an eye since eyes are another thing I’ve drawn well that hasn’t stopped. Eyes see everything even what they brain doesn’t process. Pain, happniess, sadness, weakness, strength joy, it see the world and what you see is reflected in them when the camera captures you in a freeze.

My eyes see the blurr frm tears that won’t fall. I’m still doing anything to distract myself because I have no real hope anymore. Just a passive motion. I’m […]

7/9/2012 0 comment

I talk too much

by StrandedSelkie 6/29/2012

written by StrandedSelkie

Okay it’s me again and I’m feeling really stupid for bothering you with every wee thing, but I just really can’t cope atm. I have this problem: I tell the people that hurt me, my parents, those who’ve abused me all my life and who made me the wreck I am, everything about my feelings. I know that’s not smart, but usually soon after they’ve managed to bring me down enough so that I’m in a state of depression and anxiety, they’ ll want to ” talk” about it and they’ll even tell me they’re sorry, and especially in my Dad’s case that he ” […]

6/29/2012 0 comment

Lonely beautiful paramedic…

by Black_Scorpio 5/7/2012

written by Black_Scorpio

Things going better and worst at the same time… I solved some of my problems, but some of them seems won’t change for a long time… My brother lost all control and using psychological violence against me. Its so hard to handle. I do everything for the familly.. But he keeps saying i am nothing,Â stupid *****, dirty, dumb idiot and so on.. He even keep saying that when my friends hear.

So sad.. Once, he was an idol for me. Now, i want to delete him from my life totally. Good that mother is dead and doesn’t see […]

5/7/2012 5 comments

My last resort.

by shaunie_b 4/30/2012

written by shaunie_b

I am a victim if sexual abuse as a child . After blocking it out for so long, I came forward and the offender was jailed summer last year. Ever since I have felt numb and have noÂ satisfactionÂ from his sentencing. I feel that although he can no longer get to me or other females in the family. My life is already tarnished and I am ready to give up. Suicide has never been a true option for me untiltonight. I’ve called some helplines, shed some tears. But its no use.

4/30/2012 9 comments

Movie suggestion for everyone

by TangledUpInBlue 4/5/2012

written by TangledUpInBlue

Wristcutters: A Love Story – I found this movie late one night while perusing netflix and after reading the description I was very intrigued as, of course, I am on the same path (I’m too squeamish to cut though) but I also love quirky movies that take you on an adventure and are filled with both deep meaning and light hearted fun… needless to say I was really taken back with how much I enjoyed it and think that many here might get the same joy and satisfaction while riding along with the characters- it certainly let me escape for a bit while still thinking […]

4/5/2012 2 comments

Some sage thoughts on suicide and misanthropy, and a few poems

by TangledUpInBlue 4/3/2012

written by TangledUpInBlue

To begin, I am fairly misanthropic and disenfranchised due to humanity’s impact on nature and the wildlife that inhabit (or did inhabit in many cases) this once beautiful planet, Â how society is in general, whether it be the intolerance and hate that monotheistic religions have spread for generations (as well as how religious teachings dominate our political and legal systems despite all of the blatant problems that arise from it), the general lack of concern for our irreversible impacts, our horrible justice systems, our spiraling out of control dependency on technology, etc, etc…. but I also share the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer’s views on misanthropy […]

4/3/2012 6 comments

tick/tock

by subvertedstateofdystopia 2/28/2012

written by subvertedstateofdystopia

This is a first. I’m sitting in the dark, if it weren’t for the glow of my phone’s screen. Pathetic, is it not? The age we live in. Specifically 4:46am in the wilderness that is upstate New York. This place is devoid of all things meant to nourish – as a life long denizen it’s cruel atmosphere is taking it’s harsh toll on me. Too many thoughts, too many restless nights….the cold air has entered my mentality and is stifling all that may prosper. I lay here contemplating attempt #3. I have given up yet again. It’s been 6 years since […]

2/28/2012 1 comment

Newer Posts

Older Posts