I’m not sure why I’m feeling the way I am. When I made my decision and came up with the plan, I felt relieved. When I took the first step and bought a burial plot in the small cemetery where my father is buried, I felt I had accomplished something concrete. I already have rough drafts of my letters written, and decisions made on where and how. I’m just waiting for one more (unwanted) event to occur, after which no one will need me anymore. Yesterday I went out and ordered my headstone, which looks just like my dad’s, except that I wanted to put […]
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Secrecy
I’ve been grappling for weeks. This isn’t my first time down this path, I’m a pro at weathering them (but for an attempt in my early 20s when I didn’t know better). Â Right now I’m losing the battle. Â I’ve decided to concede, if nothing else for the peace it instantly brings me. Â But two things are really pissing me off about this right now.
1. Â Someone cares, pick up the phone, call them, they’re all going to be so devastated when you go, blah blah blah. Â Screw that. They all know. Â They know I’m a mess. Â Granted they’re not mind-readers, they don’t know that I’ve crossed […]
Riley,
Our journey continues in my mind. We converse, we laugh, we dance, we engage in battle with zombies, we awaken the Harbinger in the ones who are lost and suffering. I know you’re suffering right now and it’s torture for me. If there’s anything I can do, let me know. I begin school in the spring (I hope) to obtain an associate’s degree in Physical Education. The Vampire Order grows and it seems as if my friends with Anonymous have the same intentions. I have discussed joining Anonymous with the Order. We feel at this time, we will remain separate, as we draw inspiration through […]