I wish i had either i just want to eat all day every day. And David Bowie is dead? Really WTF? Hes a fucking genius!!!
Edit:I hate seeing this disgusting detestable ogre staring me back in the mirror. Its easy to shovel in more food when you’re already a fat pig and you’re perpetually suicidal. Also, fucking Ziggy Stardust is dead. Things are not hunky dory. Im under pressure to lose weight and get a better job and i feel low.
I’m 14.. I really feel like I need to be taking weight loss pills. But everyone else Is against it. Oh they say just diet and exercise. You really want me to go outside and run looking like the fat lard I am? People will laugh at me! And its not that easy to diet! You have to have self control for that. And that’s something I don’t have and never will have. I just want to be fit and in shape! That’s all I ask for.
Hi, I’m 12 years old and in the 7th grade. I have never tried to commit suicide but I have considered it. I just want it all to end sometimes, but sometimes I look around and think, “Why would I want to die? There’s so much to live for.” I started cutting about two months ago, but got addicted fast. I didn’t realize it at first. I thought I was in control and I wasn’t. Finally I thought, “This is stupid. I’m done with this.” I managed to not cut for all of 24 hours, then I couldn’t stop myself anymore and cut again. I […]
Insinuation is fun.
Wordpress is annoying.
Anyway…
This is my first “post,” though my story is entirely too convoluted and nebulous to really nail… so i’ll just say this:
I’m an early-middle-aged white male, who has had a profoundly depressing, worthless, lonely and unfulfilling life.
I don’t burn or cut or self-harm (unless cigarettes count), i don’t drink (at all) or do any drugs (haven’t even smoked any cannabis in over a year, now… though i will admit i’ll never truly stop loving it)…
Though i have had a few isolated incidents in the past, where i lost self-control and did self-harm, it has never been anything that persists or establishes […]
I’m not suicidal ( I think). I don’t have a shitty life (from a privileged family). I’m not a teen (no hormone imbalance).
Though, I do feel like a piece trash most of the time. (I know….you can call me a whinny ***** later)
I’m one of those people that no one will ever think to be depressed. I’m in university. I have a lot of “friends”. I have a loving and successful family. Yet I hate myself most of the time because as a single child to a very privileged family, I’m bloody mediocre and boring as a piece of white paper.
Most people around me often say I’m […]
The world goes on without you here. adjust or just collapse. I never been been good at adjusting. Hell I don’t feel comfortable besides when I’m alone. I know what it would do to my family if I killed myself. I wish things were easier. I wish it was not so hard. I fail at school, friends, family, boyfriends, eating, and self control. I’m not gonna graduate high school I don’t have the energy. I think I’m gonna go. I won’t be back most likely wish me luck. Peace.
Im excited.
No, really I am.
I’m going to Miami in a couple of days. It’s for my dad’s work and my cousins wedding. I’m going to see me family. im going to get out of this cold weather. Im going to see my cousin have the best day of her life.
Buuut, I’m also going to have to wear a swimsuit.
And, see my grandmas face fall when I walk in.
She doesnt like me that much. I’ve heard her say so. She doesnt approve of my “lifestyle”. She says Im a slutty, skater, who has no self control. I’m also a mess, bad example, and a future druggie.
Thanks […]
I just want to say, first off, that I have been following this forum for awhile. You see, I have been trying to help a dear friend. Her depression and suicidal thoughts have been going on since she was a teen. Reading the comments here has really helped me understand what she’s going through.
It has been really rough lately for her. I’m trying to do my best for her. I haven’t been perfect (far from it). I’ve made tons of mistakes. Mostly, flying by the seat of my pants and guessing at what’s coming next.
Her meds were changed recently by her psychiatrist. She’s going to […]
I have Asperger’s Syndrome. I have every anxiety problem in the book. I have manic-depression. I am tripolar. I’m afraid of everything. I’m a hoarder.
There are so many things wrong with me, It’s hard to keep track of them all. It’s even harder to keep them under control. With each passing day, I feel my lucidity and self-control slipping away. The worst of it is, most of it’s genetic.
When I was little, I used to bully my little brother. I had no idea it was wrong, because that’s all people did to me. Eventually, I felt horrible for it, and I prayed that it would […]
My lack of tenacity to anything and everything applies I guess just as well to my suicidal thoughts. They come and go but they are never enough to make me actually do anything. Its more a coping thing. It has been a few months since I have felt this low and un-like reality, when I ***** about my petty white kid problems you all kind of listen. Which is cool so I can keep my crazy priviate and un-identified. Since I am obviously to ***** to do it I have decided begrudgingly take on reality head on for thirty days. Thirty days just giving it […]
I’m at the edge of breaking into tears, at the edge of an hysterical attack… I want to scream and yell and hit the walls and bit my arms and just lose my self control for a little while. But right now I just can’t, I can’t go crazy in the middle of my class.
Today I’m having a down and it’s the worst, I’ve been feeling like crap since the very moment I woke up. I think that if I die, none of the ones around me will even notice, I’m nothing more than the shy girl who hides behind the anger and her phone […]
I can’t talk to my friends about my depression because they all gossip so much, and they don’t care. I am so sick and tired of being lonely. My friends ignore me, and I treat them with so much dignity and respect. I really do, outside this site I exhibit enormous self-control. I only let loose my emotions on this site because I consider it a safe space to do so, and in some warped way I feel more comfortable posting to a community of people who always feel this close-to-suicide sensation like me. Anyways, It’s late, so forgive my poor grammar. Venting on this […]
I don’t want my esophougus to rupture. Painfully suffocating to death on my own sick, jesus.
I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to think, I don’t want to feel, and so I eat, and sometimes I need to feel, to know I’m still alive even if it hurts, and so I eat. Then the shame of being such a fucked up, selfish, wasteful, ***** with no self-control opens up the endless black hole inside of me and I have to fill it (and empty it) again.
I don’t know if I can be helped, or even if I want it. I just know that I’m scared […]
Okay so I am making an effort right now to talk. Â My hands are busy on the keyboard but my self control is kind of waning. Â But I thought I would try and talk instead. Â Will someone talk to me? Â I tried calling a friend but that didn’t work.
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