I’ve always been aware that I’m not good enough for anything I want – friends who don’t treat me as an inferior, mainly, I went through all my life getting that from everyone I liked (and worse shit on top of it) – but eventually I made myself take the advice from people on the internet that I am good enough and to not let people walk all over me. That “self-esteem comes from within.” And I ended up becoming an asshole for two and a half years when aside from that I’ve always been a major softie… and the last person I made friends […]
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Self Esteem
Like the title says, this is just a rant about my trials and tribulations. I don’t really know if posting my story will be of any use to anyone but I just couldn’t leave this world without anyone knowing about it. I guess someone should know, even if they don’t really know me. But in all honesty I don’t know if anybody really knows the real me. I wear a mask and pretend to be “normal”. So nobody really knows. They’ll probably never find out either because this page doesn’t link to me in any way. But I figured somebody should know my story and […]
I am a student of suicide. I am fascinated by it and the prospect does not daunt me in the least. However, I cannot seem to do the deed. I cannot end this life of mine. I have tried ~12 times since I was 9 years old and aside from passing out a few times, I have never even gone into a coma.
If I believed in God, I might see his hand being part of this. However, I think I am just not motivated enough to die. Nor to live. I am in living pergatory.
I am 22 years old now. Female. Asexual, but unable to […]
I have to ask… am I an ideal suicide candidate? My family life has all but gone to shit (and trust me, I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING to change that around); I have a job that makes me miserable and I’ve had enough jobs to know it’s not getting any better out there. I can’t afford school ( I’m 22) and I don’t know where I want to see myself career-wise. I hate the way I look, despite compliments, which seem more like desperate attempts from friends to raise my self-esteem or from guys to get in my pants. I could go on… I’m serious about […]
These days I am increasingly struggling to find a reason to keep going. Everytime I go outside I feel that everyone is looking and judging me, analysing my every awkward move. Walking on the pavement/sidewalk towards oncoming traffic is the worst as It just feels like a barrage of people staring at you, judging you. I hate thinking this way and I know its not rational, but I cant shake it, its like I am defined by my anxiety. Even when I succeed at something, theres always a voice saying I should have done better- endless quest for perfection? then what?  I think what is making […]
so im back at school for the ferst time in 4 days after losing some of my mind in i class and trying to kill my bully which resulted in me losing some blood a lot of ters and whats left of my mind so yer my mental scars from bullying held so going back to school must be esey right… wrong in the reel world non of that happens especially not in good old blighty (the UK to all the yanks out there) i came back got the shit beat out of me saying the same liy to anyone who ask it was a accident go […]
I’ve been having a lot of self-esteem and confidence issues lately and I’ve even found it hard to express myself on here because I was too critical of myself and held back on what I want to say so I feel like I need to write because I need to be honest with myself. I feel like I’ve formed a personality from it because I never got over the bullying and now I believe all the things people said about me to be true and it’s hard to get over after believing it for so long and I don’t believe the people  who say that […]
Throughout my life (18 years) ive been everyones punching bag or the small kid they can bully..ive been the victim of name calling and generally not nice comments such as “you should go kill yourself nobody will miss you!
Family life wasn’t any better from a young age I used to get beat up and everyone turned a blind eye to it…..
As this got worse I took it all to heart which has and still does affect relationships with women and generally people mainly friends, through all this ive lost pretty much everything, I have no self esteem and ive tried committing suicide on several occasions […]
You disappear…
What have I done to deserve this?
I’ve always been the good child. The one who would eat all their veggies, do their homework, listen to their parents, do well in school and sports and yet I’m always the one at fault. Reading some of these posts, I really have no right to complain about my life because others have it worse than I do. I grew up with both parents, I’m healthy, and we don’t have to worry about money. What more could I ask? All I’ve wanted, was to have someone to love me or care for me. Unfortunately, some things in the […]
THis is my story as I have seen it and why I did what I did. I was married to the love of my life and to this day wondered how and why I found a beautiful woman like her to fall in love with a loser like me. To this day I i still don’t know. Well years went on and we had 3 beautiful talented children. Somewhere our lines got crossed and we stopped having a relationship outside of our children. I know I am at fault for the problems with our marriage. My wife asked for a divorce, at which she tells […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
I met a guy. He was really nice. But as soon as I friended him on facebook, he never talked to me again. I didn’t  understand what I did so wrong. I don’t get why he judged me by the way I look. I already know I don’t look very good, and my self esteem isn’t very high. Wait, that was a lie. I don’t HAVE self esteem. But because of that, I don’t know if I can even think I look pretty anymore. All I want is a nice guy to like me for me. But apparently they don’t exist nowadays. I […]
I think I’m drowning myself. I keep pushing myself backward. Every time I shove myself forward four steps, I fall backwards nine. I convince myself to do something and all I see in myself in the mirror is self-hate. I went out to a prayer group tonight, and by the end of the group I was already back to hating on myself. I have no self-esteem. I think I am worth nothing. I don’t want to exist anymore. There are moments when I think that maybe I shouldn’t kill myself, but mostly I just want to end my life. Then I come on SP and […]
Basically I feel like I want to die most days. Some days I am ok, but I am a very depressed person, I let my depression consume me. I really need some anti-depressants, but I am still waiting for my health insurance to kick-in so I can see a psychiatrist. I believe in God, but I don’t understand why I feel bad enough to want to kill myself. I’ve been thinking about killing myself for years but something always stops me. I don’t think I will actually kill myself, but I have thought about how I would do it.
I am currently living in Philly, […]
Hi. I’ve never really done this before. I’m a thirteen year old girl. I used to have these huge dreams of changing the world, being someone. I still do, but it’s harder to continue. I have nothing wrong with my life. I have a good home life, things at school are okay I guess, no one has it perfect. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop thinking about cutting and committing suicide. I feel like it would be so much easier. Sleeping with out dreams eternally. I don’t know why I want life to end so badly. Lately I’ve been in my room a […]
I have been in a rocky, controlling relationship with a man I have been head over heels in love with for about a year now. He was never very nice, always controlling, very jealous, and extremely verbally abusive… A tall, sexy, tattooed from head to toe punk rocker, I fell in love immediately. we both have had hard lives, and he was from New York in Oregon (where I’m from) because he knocked a girl up in New York who was from Oregon, and he moved to Oregon to be the father. They didn’t work out. Anyway, we started a relationship, had a lot of […]
I am at the lowest i have ever been in my life. Sad to say, but i am starting to understand why people kill themselves. I am so depressed and can’t seem to shake it off. Im 27, a broken engagement sent me over the edge. I let any relationship im in consume my entire life and im never happy anyway because i cant seem to trust any man and end up being a crazy ***** for my insecurities. Im in love with a drug addict/alcoholic. He is a horrible person. He lies, steals, embarrasses me and doesnt work, but yet im completely addicted to […]
i’m 20 years old and my life always had been difficult, now i am at a point that i can’t go anymore further.. 🙁
My friends are slowly abandoning me,i don’t have a girlfriend and my parents hates me,i don’t have a job or money.
I started having panic attacks cause of my situation and i’m afraid of meeting people,i’m loosing all my self esteem..
i have searched in the net for so long a nice method for suicide,but every method seems uneffective
some people tells that helium can fail,pills fails… it seems that everything is more likely to fail that having effect.
I don’t […]
Its seriously amazing at what you can hide by just putting on a smile. I am currently struggling with anxiety disorder, depression, and an eating disorder (Ednos). I hate my body and my self esteem is broken. Every time I talk to a guy, I have to back off because I don’t think I deserve to be loved. If I can’t even love myself ya know? I feel bad for anyone to ever like me because I have to hide how emotionally damaged I am. They don’t deserve to love me I’m tooo broken to deserve shit. I just want to be happy. No one […]
i was a very happy guy i used to live ma life without any depression though i was not having any girl friend nor i do have now bt then to i was satisfied with ma life i also completed my MBA this year i am quite a good looking guy & was expecting a good looking & sexy girlfriend in future but besides that i was having a little gap in my front teeth so i decided to remove those gap by doing composite bonding but that fucking female dentist did not tell me its disadvantages of composites nor she even told me that […]