This is probably my third attempt at making a coherent post on this topic.
I have a constellation of issues. I am depressed. I hate feeling emotions. I don’t like knowing people worry about me, or feel worse because of the decisions I make, and I don’t want to feel anything about those in my life who are apathetic.
I don’t want to meet anyone new. I can play make-believe. Recite scripted responses, the simple choreography of living. I don’t want anything more than that.
I want to create a buffer between me and other people. I don’t want to care.
That implies severing contact with the last remaining […]