Self-diagnosis is stupid, but: I think I have avoidant personality disorder. I have all of the symptoms, which began to develop at age 11 or so…
I am one of the strangest, most pathetic people I know.
Tag:
Shyness
Does anyone else often feel like they don’t matter? Like they’re alone in a crowd? Even amongst people who should be my friends, I feel like I don’t belong. Then again, I don’t think these people are real friends. Yesterday, I was at another party. Sitting there among a circle of people I know (people who are supposedly my friends), watching them talk and laugh about things that deep down I can’t truly relate to, I have never felt so alienated and disconnected. It was like I was an audience member watching a show I didn’t really enjoy or find all that funny.
It always seems […]
I am a bit off, when I was younge my father raped me. But I do not hate my father for rapeing me or making me watch porn, I am a bit up set for not being able to be completely innocent but I do not hate my father , in fact I am abit sorry for him for being as perverted as me with the male gender. Ever since I can rember I have Dream of porn or sex dreams. I have dream of being abused and watching other people getting abused. At one point I felt horrible for having a dirty mind, I […]
Life has often been compared to a free-flowing body of water, …a river if you may, but what can one do if they cannot go with the flow and do not know how to swim?
This is my situation right now, I feel like I am being stranded… drowned…. left behind by the world around me. By my few friends and family… I know that my lack of social skills and shyness have contributed to that, but still I try to get along with people. However, I am slowly losing hope.
I am a failure, I have not finished college, I have recently lost a job last year, and […]
This is mental torture. My brain wont allow positive feelings and pleasures, it rejects them like foreign territory. It is not used to positivity so it doesnt know what to do with it. It teased me by making me feel confident and excided and content and motivated for a very short time then slaps me back in the face and replaces these good feelings with guilt anxiety paranoia saddness bordome and fear. It feeds these thoughts into my mind virtually automaticly , thoughts like “you are undeserving to feel content, get praise, . You are a bad person your doing it all wrong, you cant […]