I hate careers. I hate dead-end jobs. I hate money. I hate corporations. I hate the government. I hate having to buy things in order to exist. I hate having my time delegated to being productive so that someone else can profit from my labor. I hate paperwork. I hate commercials and advertisements. I hate that creative people get sucked into marketing for corporate interests rather than producing their own art. I hate lobbyists. I hate insurance. I hate predictability (except that I might hate all of the things listed here – that kind of predictability is OK with me). I hate the commodification ofÂ […]
i am so alone,
i am so lonely,
no matter which way i put it its still the same, and it doesn’t make it go away
i need love,
i crave love,
and yet i find my self alone, i find myself unloved.
i dont know what to do or say to achieve anything. so i am alone.
right now i have a stringent obsession for a girl that i will never be able to have,
due to one simple fact. she doesnt like men LOL
oh the calamity, that it so awful. i know right?
its whatever i guess, if the only thing i can be is a friend thats what ill be.
but it […]
Why is it so hard for me to let people in? Why do I put on a mask and hide my emotions? I can almost feel a curtain come down, blocking my soul from whoever may be there.
I just don’t know what to do. I feel stuck,trapped oddly enough by my family. My husband has too much at work, and I don’t know how my kids would handle me having a second stay in the hospital in one year. That’s why the permanent solution keeps rolling around in my brain. Just be done with all of this. There’s a […]
Tired of everything being my fault seriously everything wrong in this relationship is my fucking fault there isn’t anything I can do right. I stopped caring awhile ago according everyone around me. They are right it’s all that’s worked for me. It’s what I know now. How do I change who I am? Do I even wanna change who I am? Not really I kinda like me for once. I know I can be an ass but I’m also pretty awesome. I’m such an ass cuz I feel so jaded. I feel like I’ve been held back and pinned down I want freedom and independence. […]
Simply put… I am tired of feeling like I don’t belong. In fact, wanting to belong felt like the only thing I could believe in.
Up till this present moment in time, I have been a poser. That may not be the right word to use but it is true. I have lied about my feelings, my personality, and in general, my life. Now I won’t go into details about how I hate my life and nothing is working out, so, here is a rant for you.
Optimism is a false belief which many people face. I, being a teenager and a homosexual, have learnt this the […]
I know a lot of people have issues against drugs, and especially illegal ones at that. However, the simple fact is without drugs we would be less of a productive society, but it depends on the drug of course; some drugs make our society worse. Â We know what they are, but I think we all can agree that some drugs have important application. Â If you’ve ever been suicidal (who hasn’t?), we know that something causes this reaction in our mind to give up. Â It’s due to ourselves unequipped to deal with the pain or failing to find the answers that got us to this point. […]
It’s a simple fact of life. Everyone avoids anything that causes them discomfort. And it’s understandable and human. But when I’m the source of that discomfort, it just doesn’t seem right. It hurts too much. I didn’t ask to feel this way.
where does it all come from? It seems to be endless, a voracious beast with an unquenchable appetite. The emptiness surrounds me, sticks to my skin like some disgusting, sticky black membrane, constantly separating me from the world, never allowing any emotions in or out.
Sometimes I feel it as a stab of desperate loneliness, and I want nothing more than to scream–but I can’t find the energy. Other times it recedes to the background as a dull throbbing, and I’ll sit in one place for hours on end. Sometimes it verges on something vaguely resembling pain, though even then it’s as if I can’t even […]
Tonight we had our own â€œfight clubâ€ for the first time. I got the text invitation just as I was thinking about swallowing all the pills in my medicine cabinet…it seemed like a nice alternative to a suicide attempt, so I agreed. Call them odd for emulating such an idea, but it beats the hell out of pumping iron at the tool cage on the ASU Tempe campus, I guess. There were only six of us behind the abandon furniture store across from the tracks, but it was more than enough to get things rolling. The energy was immenseâ€¦like doing lines of blow at the […]
I quit my job after 3 days. 3 whole days and i quit. im such dumb failure. Im over-sensitive, and social anxiety, and i couldn’t take the fact that those god awful customers disrespected me like that. i couldn’t bare the fact that i gotÂ threaten, assaulted andÂ harassed. im so stupid. Secondly, this guy scared the crap out of me in the parking lot. i have never been so scared before. I was in the parking lot sitting in my car reading something, and this guy comes out of nowhere and parks next to me. He just starring at me, and he winks, and i got […]
I don’t particularly think my story is of any significance, nor do I think anything particularly bad has happened to me, but I shall share my story anyway because of the simple fact that I want to.
I shall begin with the fact that I’ve always hated my father, as far back as I can remember he has always annoyed me, with his selfishness, lack of manners and personal space, I swear, if I even began insulting him, I could never stop. People say I have a really good memory but the truth is, I don’t I can’t exactly remember anything before the age of […]
When i feel im doing something good with my life something happens that shoots me into the ground.Being the youngest of five most would think i would be the babyed one the spoiled little bastard that gets what ever i ask for.And where i have received the things i had wanted im told its just because im the baby one,not that i had done something good enough for a reward.Always being told that beauty is the only way you’ll make in the world is depressing when you find your self disgusting at times i will act as if im happy so i dont bring down […]