death is the best way out and the only way. I want to die so much, you dont understand because no one does. Ive told people but they think its a joke. I see it in their face, that smile, that smirk. Its just a joke……
But im afraid to kill, to kill myself. I cant do it and i try. I think about the multiple ways and i cry because I can’t do it.
I walked last night on the cliffs, facing the Pacific Ocean. Alone. It was very late; nearly 2am. There was a mild mist coming from the ocean. The ocean before me was so vast, that you can’t but still your mind and feel the nothingness. Had I taken a boat, and sailed straight forward (as the crow flies), I would have possibly ended up in Queensland.
Then you equate the ocean with the eternity. Of course, it’s only a fallacy, as nothing is eternal. One day even this vast ocean will come to its end. But it’s a melancholic thought nonetheless, when humans do that […]
everyone makes suicide jokes around me
they make fun of cutters
they make fun of the disease that plagues my very existence.
does no one feel sympathy for mental illness in this world? just because its not directly killing me, no one gives a fuck.
People see my scars and smirk and whisper to one another. i wear black one day and instantly, im emo. i give up. i think im going to “trip” infront of a speeding SUV tomorrow.
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