Haven’t I done this before? Shouldn’t the shaking hands and bone aches and sniffly nose have stopped by now? I mean it’s been, what, seven months now? Isn’t that enough? Jesus. Sobriety isn’t worth it if this is what it comes with. I thought physical withdrawals were supposed to stop after a couple months. Does anyone know if it’s even fucking possible for them to go away and come back again later? Or is this all a mental ting? I don’t want to relapse 3 days before I graduate, so I would love to know if I’m just losing it or if this is just […]
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Sobriety
I have been a drug addict since I was 15. Â Ive had periods of sobriety the longest being four years however I am once again in active addiction. Â I am a failure in every sense of the word and all I want is to die. Â I have tried several times and just like everything else I try to do in my miserable life I failed. Â I am emotionally and spiritually dead already and have been for most of my life. Â Im 30 years old unemployed and live with my parents. Â Three years ago I owned a home with my beautiful fiance. Â I had all the […]
well it hasn’t been a whole day on a new dose and i have been naughty already. one is not supposed to drink alcohol while taking a certain anti-depressant that starts with a c. we went out to eat and i had a couple of drinks. interesting that my heart started hurting. like it was being squeezed or something. that was after2 drinks. guess i probably should not find out what a bender feels like. of course i was also indulging in other things as well. expecting me to embrace total sobriety is a waste of time. it is not likely to happen anytime soon. […]
I’ve said a million times that I would rather be beat up than to hurt emotionally, but it never seems to work out that way. As I found out on Thursday night, even if you are beat up physically, your heart will still hurt.
I am not getting any younger. I am 29, I have a seemingly great life; I have a full time job at a great company, I have a wonderful apartment near my job, I have my two cats that I live with, some great friends, a supportive family… But there is one thing missing – a relationship with myself.
I am constantly trying […]
personality keeps splintering, can’t choose a way to be, it’s tiring carrying on multiple faces. What am I talking about? Am I insane. I laughed when I read daniel radcliffe was drunk during a bunch of the harry potter scenes; i laughed to tears. Addicitve personalities man.. i started back drinking coffee again, appetites completely gone, was doing so good eating naturally.. had chocolate this morning after 2 months off.. was doing so well
i was set on not coming back here ever, set on trying harder to be positive, but even then I knew that it was the lingering buzz of the nights events still […]