Tag:

Spending Time

Rejection

by XxWhyxX 8/21/2013

written by XxWhyxX

I made a mistake, a huge mistake. I met a boy, with beautiful green eyes and a personality that trapped me like a helpless fly in a spiders web. In that web was the only place I wanted to be. Over a couple weeks I got to know him and I fell, fell so hard it was sad. I smiled constantly, because of him, and he made me laugh, the real kind, (not the bubblegum-fairy-princess kind you feed to people around you when your depressed) it was amazing. I felt free of my chains when I was with him.

Mistake… Then I learned I […]

8/21/2013 4 comments

one year countdown is getting closer by the day

by notalwayshappy 7/3/2013

written by notalwayshappy

I decided on Nov 18, 2012, that I did not have 1 single happy day (or half day, or real significant moment of relief) that I would wait 365 days and if things had not improved (i.e., the happy moment), that I was done here, my work completed, and that I would just check out.

I have a great job, a nice family and all that “people strive” for – in fact, I feel selfish writing this post because I know full well that I am not hard done by…. but I lost the one. Not only did I lose her, but I made it happen, […]

7/3/2013 4 comments

Fatal Melancholy

by whyohwhysky 5/31/2013

written by whyohwhysky

Someone saved me last week from hanging myself. The loneliness was driving me mad. Yet, here I am again contemplating death. It is my refuge from the emptiness of life.

Now, I want to die because I simply don’t enjoy it. The one person who brought me joy and color to my world is now dead. I’ve been trying to move on and find happiness in the connections of those still alive, but I don’t enjoy spending time with people. Nor do I have the energy to try and find a new close companion.

So, I just sit in my room, waiting. Waiting for something to happen. […]

5/31/2013 1 comment

My first post in a while

by RuinsOfTheVoid 5/20/2013

written by RuinsOfTheVoid

My first post in a while.

I don’t know what it is that keeps pulling me back here, but no matter how my life is going eventually I always end up back here. Maybe it is the safety of the internet, perhaps it is that I know you all understand what it means to be depressed. I feel like I have made some of my greatest friends on here because they actually get me. I don’t have to pretend with you guys. Its nice, I guess I just miss that.

I work in an office now, software development, its fine, im good at it, but I have […]

5/20/2013 1 comment

Stuff Stops Mattering, Kind Of

by Dashed 5/11/2013

written by Dashed

Even though I’ve been on anti depressants for almost a year now, and I have had my dosage upped twice, the depression persists. It figures because it’s chronic. But where I used to feel that at least something better was around the bend, now I feel like each passing year worsens me as both a person and a functional human being.

I can’t bring myself to meet goals or requirements. I’m always tired and I rarely feel good. I’m lonely, but I can’t make strong connections with anyone. I try to reach out but it’s never the kind of fulfillment I need socially. I haven’t had […]

5/11/2013 7 comments

Kill me

by ChrisC87 4/26/2013

written by ChrisC87

Death looks pretty attractive right now.Â The other night I went up into my attic looking for some guns my parents have been hiding.Â I fell through the attic and busted up my leg pretty good.Â Needless to say I feel even worse now.Â The last two days at work I haven’t been able to stop myself from crying.Â My supervisor gave me an extremely simple straight-forward assignment and I can’t do it.Â I can’t focus or concentrate on it.Â I’m stupid and worthless and lazy.Â I don’t deserve a good career.Â I don’t even deserve a bad career.Â I deserve no career.Â I fuck […]

4/26/2013 2 comments

Eternally Single and Unemployed

by hehmylifestory 3/6/2013

written by hehmylifestory

In a nutshell: 23 years old, No job, never been in a serious relationship, living with my sibling who I can tell doesn’t want me to be here much longer. No money, no car, and since graduating and moving to a new city, no friends. I do EVERYTHING alone. I eat alone, I go out alone, I work out alone. Student loan payments will have to be made soon. Rent, car payments, a multitude of other bills with no job are coming. This isn’t what it was supposed to be like. By this point in my life I was supposed to be starting a new […]

3/6/2013 9 comments

no quality of life

by idunno 3/6/2013

written by idunno

Twists turns my stomache aches i sweats my thoughts race. Mental torture my mind feels dull dry and overheated and robotlike.

As the same everyday routine goes by you lose track of the days things become blirry and numb.

Yes it has become a chore to laugh. It feels so fake. Its hard to genuinly enjoy any moment.

I am a slave to the dishwasher, weve become quite close we bond at least 3 times aday.
Spending time with it seems to be a highlite of my day. Yes its helpful and i feel good about doing it but when thats the only thig you do day […]

3/6/2013 2 comments

First give it a try…

by OddOneOut 2/15/2013

written by OddOneOut

I’m not trying to be a dick or anything, but it’s just a moment’s revelation that is slowly turning my life around right now and I thought it would be nice to share and get the ideas of other people.We, the ones on this site, usually have no meaning in life, think ourselves a failure, have had (to many different levels) experienced traumatic events or had our lives ruined by someone or thing, and are now seemingly left without many options. Our lives cannot, and will not get better. It will always be like this.
But, HAVE YOU ACTUALLY TRIED TO FIX THINGS? Of course, […]

2/15/2013 16 comments

im an awful person

by skylark 1/22/2013

written by skylark

i don’t even know why i try. no matter what i do ill always be this crappy. I’m too fat, I’m too ugly, I’m not smart enough….im worthless. and idk why I’m spending time writing this post because i don’t even matter. sorry if your reading this. i can’t do anything right.

1/22/2013 21 comments

So much swept under the rug…

by OddOneOut 12/9/2012

written by OddOneOut

3 years back, my family was in a severe economic crisis – we were broke. Living in a family friend’s house as a whole because we had to move out of our own; my father losing everything he had, spending time in jail and still having debt; having to move to a country quite literally running from money. It was a very bad situation.

But, bad enough as it was, my mother started turning into someone – no, showing a part of herself that me and my sister never knew was in her. She became a total *****. I know it’s unacceptable to be saying stuff […]

12/9/2012 1 comment

This could be it

by DarkSnow-Leopard 11/26/2012

written by DarkSnow-Leopard

This is what could, as you would say “break the camel’s back”. I may have lost someone I considered a brother, but I could lose the only closest person after him… My sister (not related).

My sister and I have been close friends for close to about six years. We have spent so much time together and told each other many secrets. Even though I still act somewhat paranoid around her, I know she still cares for me and we love each other very much. It was only recently did we start talking again since there was a break in our education that allowed up free […]

11/26/2012 1 comment

Lost

by CellophaneFire 11/5/2012

written by CellophaneFire

I’m two faced, one good one bad. I hate it. I was suicidal, a smoker and an alcoholic for some time. Im only 13. I was in a hospital a few weeks ago for suicidal thoughts & attempts. I still hate myself, but I realize that if I commit suicide, I won’t ever rest. There, I met amazing people with problems. They made me stop hating myself by a little, and spending time around them helped give me a new insight to life.

My mom & I have never been on good terms, & when we finally were, I thought that now i could kill myself […]

11/5/2012 0 comment

Drowning

by drowninginloneliness 10/16/2012

written by drowninginloneliness

I think I’m drowning myself. I keep pushing myself backward. Every time I shove myself forward four steps, I fall backwards nine. I convince myself to do something and all I see in myself in the mirror is self-hate. I went out to a prayer group tonight, and by the end of the group I was already back to hating on myself. I have no self-esteem. I think I am worth nothing. I don’t want to exist anymore. There are moments when I think that maybe I shouldn’t kill myself, but mostly I just want to end my life. Then I come on SP and […]

10/16/2012 2 comments

Bestfriends?

by vaaaaanna 10/8/2012

written by vaaaaanna

There are those that you trust & those that you enjoy spending time with right?

My friend is leaving the country for a long time. Happy for him, better life where his going anyways! I’ve helped him out when he had his huuuuge fallout with his ex, I was the “shoulder to cry on” friend. He was aaalways calling me his bestfriend, being appreciative about my existence and shared with me everything he thought I should know. ha sooo I could say I was pretty much his little treasure box, we were good friends! I didn’t see him more or less than a friend, sooo he […]

10/8/2012 6 comments

…and life goes on…

by neveralone 7/18/2012

written by neveralone

Hi. First off, something I want to say is that no matter how bleak things may look, you are strong, and you can make it through this. <3

My story starts about 5 years ago. all through elementary school I was always the most outgoing and fun-loving girl in our little town. I was never without a friend to play with. That all changed the day of my 11th birthday party. It was the most fun party I had ever had. I was so happy because my dad picked me and my friend up in a semi-truck to bring us home. we got there, and there […]

7/18/2012 0 comment

Hey 2012!!!! whatch”cha gonna do this year!! Drowing in pain of a thrashed n’ torn heart

by Broken Dreams 7/8/2012

written by Broken Dreams

Ok so hey evyrbody what’s up?

So sorry i haven’t posted in almost 2 years and in some ways i am glad i ‘am still here.For the record i’ve tryed to kill myself several times so far in my life and i am still here so yea you can make in through some depressing times but< i don’t want anybody to try it as many times as i have so far but propley won’t try again……..we’ll mabe for a long time.i still think about it 24.7 but do what i can to advoid thouses thoughts.

I’am 21 now.so yes i drink now and go to bars.my 21st […]

7/8/2012 0 comment

Who would have thought?

by Another Number 5/16/2012

written by Another Number

A teenager growing up in a world where he has many friends, he gets good grades, he’s athletic, he likes girls and girls like him, it seems like nothing can go wrong in the world. He loves spending time outside. He loves snowboarding, soccer, basketball, and football. He’s finally met the girl of his dreams and he’s in a relationship with her. He’s in college and he’s loving his freedom. He studies, but not as well as he should. He’s off in his little world, populated by the students of his college, where nothing can touch him from the outside. The only things that harm […]

5/16/2012 3 comments

Just So Frustrated that they cant influence my dreams

by savemefrommyself97 5/5/2012

written by savemefrommyself97

I thought my meds were working, It has only been a week and they seemed great. But Ive started getting the thoughts back, especially in my dreams. The anti depressant cant control my dreams which is so frustrating. My best friend who has been there through everything with me, seems to find it funny im so depressed and that now shes just being a ***** and putting me second and the guys that use her for photos first. That hurts a lot,..I just into an fight with her ..,my other best friend…well shes constantly spending time with this guy. Its just so easy […]

5/5/2012 2 comments

Still alive… -_-

by RogueShadow1281 4/29/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

So I’m not dead. Apparently the gun show does not permit loaded weapons, it’s only staring at guns and ogling them and done. No test firing or anything… -_- So I’ll be alive.Â

I’m going to ask out my cousin Jasmine. Going to ask her if she’ll be my secret girlfriend. A term I’m using since she has feelings for me as I do for her. I’m going to ask her next time I see her, but I don’t know when that will be. She saved me from choosing death, I have a chance with her.Â

I don’t believe in God, but in this past week I […]

4/29/2012 11 comments

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