It is amazing how much people judge suicidal people and it is not only the non suicidal. Within the ranks of suicidal the old are judging the young, the traumatized judging the better off and probably even a division within different diagnosis, depressed versus manic possibly. Everyone is trying to legitimise their own reasons, trying to be the most deserving of death. I do not think it matters why you choose to attempt suicide. Suicide is valid no matter what. Even if you did it to spite someone, it is just as valid. I believe they are all valid because life is meaningless. Death is […]
It seems almost childish to be posting something here – from my perspective anyway. I’ve always associated some sort of guilt with sharing. Â I’ve never been great at articulating my feelings well, and I’ve never found much comfort in expressing them, regardless. I’m not exactly sure what I’m even searching for by registering here. Closure? Comfort in confiding in countless, faceless others? Furthermore, I’m not even certain that, after posting this, I’ll even bother to return and read the comments – again, I’m uncertain as to my feelings regarding this. Fear, perhaps? Or maybe it seems unnecessary, as my only goal was, ultimately, expressing this […]
we have to much destruction and crime on the streets
welcome to america the land of the free
but what if that fact is the fact of what has you beat?
you have no where to go and nothing you need
the laws the law is what they always said
but what use is it to you when your already dead?
no sense in living a life that you cant already live
abuse and neglect that is all that can give
moma says she loves you, shes just fucked in the head
no sense running to daddy, cause daddy already left
out the front door […]
i have attempted suicide at least 5 times. I have thought about it more hours than I can count. Ive suffered rape, loss of loved ones, physical and emotional abuse, OCD, and an unstable childhood. In spite of all these painful reasons to die, I’m turning 25 and I am so grateful that all my attempts were thwarted.
I was always in so much pain I could not think about anyone else.
Two years ago my view of suicide was completely changed. My boyfriend of over 5 years killed himself in my bedroom while I was at work. Never in my life have I felt more pain. […]
If all goes well, I’ll be all right. If not, I’m gonna plan when to kill myself. What if I don’t do it? That’ll be decided when I put my plan into action. I won’t do it in my own home, I’ll do it at the person’s place, who I wish to spite, because they laughed at me today when I was telling my doctor something serious. So, if I choose to euthanise myself, it’ll be at their house, so that if they get time to save me, they can call the ambulance, and maybe they’ll feel less psychopathic towards me. Then again, affter this […]
I have died in my dreams a hundred times. I have tried to kill myself several times in my waking life, which seems more like a living nightmare to me. Â In all the 20 years I’ve lived I haven’t done a single good thing. All I have is regrets, though when I come to rethink the steps I took and the choices I made there doesn’t seem to be another way I could have gone.
I have been a complete failure since my childhood. But back then I took life much easier because my childhood activities took me away from all the bad thoughts and my […]
I dont cry. I really dont. I didnt cry when my cousin spread rumors about me, when the girls would push me down stairs and the boys would slam me against lockers, when someone who i thought was a friend back stabbed me, when someone who used to be my friend literally spit in my face, when nobody cared. I only cry for 2 things: the death of a loved one and romantic/sad movies(yeah i know dumb reason to cry but hey im human). I used to cry myself to sleep every night when i was younger but i promised myself never again. I refused […]
I’m tired. That’s all, just tired – of everything. I’ve carried a diagnosis of depression for a long time, but I’ve always managed to keep going in spite of it. Not anymore. I’m just too tired. I don’t think many people understand what it means to be tired like this - it isn’t the ‘I need to take a nap or get a good night’s sleep’ kind of tired – no, this is a bone-deep, soul-weary, insidious form of torment, an uncertain affliction of indeterminate etiology and obfuscate symptomatology; a weariness that persists and will not abate.
I want it over. I don’t want ‘help’, I’ve […]
I hope that you like it in your little motel
And I hope that the suite sleeps and suits you well
Another year passes and I miss you as much as I ever have. It’s different now than it was, but the scar still remains deep inside. I truly hope that your decision has brought you the peace and freedom that you sought. I still don’t judge you or hold it against you. It’s not my place, nor the place of anyone else, to pass judgement on the validity of your decision to end your own life. It doesn’t mean I support it, but I will never […]
Hi, so I have not posted in six months or more….I want to say that things can get better. My life has turned around and I did it without meds and therapy. I have a stable job (they love me) and an agent wants to read my manuscript. It is night and day for me. I am so glad that I stuck it out, day by day even just three months ago I was still pretty hopeless. But here is the difference, I’ve read about the link between mood and creativity. It is not my fault. Yes, life […]
Okay, so it’s been this bad for a year now. Everytime I look on the mirror I feel sick with frustration of why I have to look the way I do. Everytime someone would call me ugly or fat I would just laugh. Wishing that they would like me so they won’t have to hurt me ever again.
I’ve had my boyfriend for one year now. He is the est thing which could of ever happened to me. He’s so beautiful and smart. But I’ve even so hurt in the past I feel so jealose. Not like normal jealosey, because everytime he looks in the […]
This is sort of an unplanned Part 2 to my last post “caring is a flaw”
Today I was supposed to meet with banks and lawyers and other seemingly important people, but instead I spent the whole morning rescuing ladybugs that were trapped at the window. 14 or 15 of them… it’s a lot harder than you’d think.
The world will never give a damn about those 14 or 15 insects, but that’s exactly why I saved them. To spite this unjust, unfair, crappy world. I imagined myself as one of those bugs, stuck at a glass window slowly dying while nobody cared.
I don’t believe in any […]
I’d like to help you guys directly, but of LIMITED bestowed preventing me doing so.
If you have unexplainable disturbances or mishaps happened, or unknown mission to accomplish, or even metaphorically puzzled, please google the followings,
to find that LICENSED lady (of special DUTY, who lives in Australia), whom obviously knowledgeable and very helpful very kind indeed. That website even listed her as a helper, and your questions would be answered in details, free of charge. Well, she’d charge if you ask for private intentive care and of her strenuous energy rendered.
(X is the letters omitted)
TrueXXXXttales
Questions and Answers
Xma Xazra
You’d never remember what […]
i hate my family sometimes. family are supposed to be the ones who support you no matter what. not my family. member of my family will turn on you as soon as they have something solid enough to use against you, and tear you down. my family is all about power and control. they need to have control over each other. even if it makes the ones being controlled miserable and suicidal. they don’t care. at this point i would love to kill myself in front of my mom just to spite her ass. she so horrible to me sometimes. she knows how fragile, and […]
I believe that our choice of music is very much a reflection of our souls. I’m a bit older than average amongst the people here. I feel fortunate to have come of age during one of the best musical booms in American history, New Wave, and its technological red-headed step child, synthpop. I’ve always been musically inclined, and I found I had a strong affinity for the pasty white boys standing behind keyboards pushing buttons in order to “play live”. My all-time favorite band is Erasure, whose popularity in America peaked when I was in college, but I frequently “worship” the “Holy Trinity”: Erasure, Depeche […]