I have always been an upbeat person; the type who keeps a positive attitude towards living. Since I was ten years old I have had HIV. Even though I still try to stay positive about it, physically I am starting to feel very fatigued and tired this year. Some part of me really just wants to let the disease win and let nature take its course. I have been fighting this disease for almost twenty years, and am exhausted. Currently I am on a large scholarship for doctoral research in bioremediation and my life is full of promise. Unfortunately, I don’t feel I have the […]
Tag:
Stamina
After over a decade of trying to slog on through this bleak existence, and being guilt-tripped continuously into persevering, I am all out of stamina for the fight anymore. Â Too many things, too many broken emotions, too many medical tags stuck onto this tortured, agony-racked being. Â I don’t even think those closest to my heart would begrudge me seeking eternal peace and relief from this cruel world, if they could understand the pain I go through on a daily basis.
I have had 3 botched overdoses with different meds, and tried hanging once but the cord stretched too much, and contemplated stepping off the roof of […]