Time passes by very quickly so fast that I find it hard to catch up, I’ve always been shy,imaginative,and outgoing at times but in my recent years I find that I spend a lot of time on my own and I never really reveal myself or open up to people though I’ve never really been a kid who’s open with her feelings but I guess I can contribute that to moving a town away and when I do open up to people and tell them how I feel it’s a very strange feeling to me now that I end up regretting it, I truly feel […]
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Strange Feeling
Wanting to die is a strange feeling. It consumes all of the joy in you and turns you into mere nothingness. Empty, cold and numb are the best words to describe it. It has gotten to the point where I can be dripping in my own blood, not feeling anything, no pain, no emotion. I thought he was a new beginning but I mean nothing as always and I don’t expect anything different nowadays. Some people know about my self harm and depression but none of them can fix me. I’m far too broken to ever be helped, I don’t even know what it feels […]
It’s a strange feeling, to lay next to someone
someone who is wonderfully good to you
and instead of happiness
the thoughts that race through your head
are how much you miss someone else
and how you wish you’d rather die
because you won’t feel the warmth of being next to that someone else
again
In the dark of the night
hearing his breath in my ear
I tell myself to let the quiet hours wash away
to let slumber kill the loneliness
so that I may live another day
I’m actually feeling really well today. I mean sure some douchebags upset me with a comment they made about suicidal people (basically that anyone who commits suicide doesn’t deserve to be loved after they’re gone), but too many good things have happened today for it to ruin my day. So today was National Suicide awareness day and I honestly thought the only people who would care and do something about it were my friends and I (and maybe one or two others), but when I got to school, the first thing I saw was a bunch of popular girls and guys with the word love […]
I sat in the bathtub, playing the same songs over and over but I wasn’t really listening.
It wont hurt. Someone told me you just get confused. Then it’s over.
I held my breath and dove under the soapy water. It was the first time I had done something like this. I had always wanted to die, but I had never tried to do it. Today was different.
It was a strange feeling. I had been under water plenty of times, I practically grew up at the local swimming pool, but today I wasn’t pretending to be a mermaid or trying to improve my backstroke: Today I was […]
All the people that know me think that I have a “good life” . Yes, I do have the “good life” yet I feel so unhappy and guilty living it. The parents who love me and who provide everything as much as they can and little brother I adore the most, even with them I feel somehow hopeless. I pity them. I pity myself even more. Theres nothing to badmouth about my life, I`m considered to be the luckiest kid because my parents dont do drugs, there is  roof over my head and food in my plate, good school, good clothes etc.
The friends who are not in […]
Took about 20 iron pills around 11:00pm yesterday from all the crap my parents put me through. I thought I would die in my sleep. Until I found out today I will die a slow death when I woke up today and researched it . I’m transitioning from stage one to 2 soon. It would take me about 3 days to die give or take if I’m not in a coma. Well it could take a week that I could die from an overdose. I told my mom after I woke up. She made me puke up everything several times after drinking loads of water. Though that […]