I feel the need to run away. what do i do among them? its my hatred for them that’s the cause of my decline, i clearly see it now. i play games when exams are near, i don’t do what every sane person would do at critical moments, i deliberately miss opportunities…why? to bring my image down in their eyes, to not become great in front of them..that’s how i take revenge from them! i don’t know if it makes sense. they praised me a lot when i topped my school and got admission in one of the best colleges. on the surface i liked […]
Tag:
Strange Kind
For whatever reason, nights are always the hardest for me. It doesn’t matter what happens during the day, whether I was elated or devastated about one thing or the other, I would still end up here, lying in the dark, thinking about the same thing each night. I don’t really want to kill myself. It would hurt everyone around me, I don’t have the heart to, I actually have a few hopes or goals to live for, etc. I think about myself, really. I go through a lot during the day. So much so that it would take too long to write, or at least […]
i read everyone’s posts and i know you think you are in pain or have it bad, but you don’t know what that is compared to me.
i am suffering from a strange kind of insomnia where i never feel tired. i can go days on end without sleep and this has been going on for three months. somehow i don’t have the ability to feel tiredness, so i have no desire to sleep. my brain however has been losing its ability to think or remember anything new. the old stuff is still there, and i look normal, but i can’t think when i need to. […]
This is not meant as a dramatic post. I just needed to talk to people who understood the kind of pain and depression that can lead to ending one’s own life. For those of you who aren’t sure, take a look deep inside of yourself as well as around you. Suicide is, of course, murder – but it is a strange kind of murder in which the murderer punishes himself/herself simultaneous with committing the crime. The two most important things to ask yourself are: (1) is there another answer? and (2) how many will I hurt by doing this?
I am NOT advocating against suicide – […]