Hm well I haven’t really felt any better since the last rant.
I’ve finally finished it with my long term on and off boyfriend of 4 years, I don’t feel bad about it at all, i am not in love with him anymore, but I do still love and care about him, he doesn’t seem to understand how you can feel that. He also can’t stand hearing about my “life” with other people.
Is it bad to have slept with more people than your actual age?
I don’t regret any of the things I’ve done ever! I did regret not doing drugs, but ha i […]
Tag:
Strange Thing
I was approached today by a friend about her supicion I was thinking about self termination. She lost her first husband to suicide and does volunter work for a prevention hotline a couple nights a month. I guess I was an easy read for her. It caught me off guard damn it and I stumbled. I confessed. What a stupid idiot I am. How could I have been so inept and careless!! It was a foolish liability to give away my desire/need. I hindered the time I had planned to make it so, by self sabatage. She offered to drive me to a hospital, like i would let that happen again. I […]
I truly understand how you feel life is meaningless. I have felt that way for months and it is very painful. SOme days I think its the day to get it over with, because the pain and hopelessness is just unbearable. This life just feels like a dirty little trick played on us by biology, or cosmology, or whatever. The strange thing is, I think that even though we are suicidal )some of us severely so) I don’t think we really WANT to die. I think we just want answers. THough it seems those answers aren’t reachable (outside ourselves) maybe they aren’t even as important […]