My life was great up until 6th grade girls became attractive, any guy who went near my crush became Satan. I was this super overweight, annoying gay guy with no life. Ok guys, sorry to rain on your parade asshole, but I’m straight, blah blah blah, suicide attempt after suicide attempt, failing everytime.
Moving on to 7th grade, my crush sort of became my obsession. She was amazing, and then she rejected me, enter my new friend, cutting. Then my crush became my hatred. Then my crush again. Then I gave up, and started taking interest in a new girl, she was beautiful, with her […]
Tag:
Suicide Attempt
I’m nearing my end and I have so few words to say. After all these years of dealing with PTSD from my first suicide attempt,borderline personality disorder and various other illnesses that have earned me the humiliating title of “insane”. After years of humiliation and abuse for being the gay goth chick, being turned down for every job, and being shat upon at every turn. After relapsing over and over again and after losing most of the quality of my life, I’ve decided to take my own life and put an end to the misery that probably won’t get better. It’s taken a lot of […]
Growing up I was the happiest little kid possible. But I dont know if I was truly happy.
I was constantly lied to from the time I was born. Always told that I was Mexican and Black because thats what my mom said to me. So I told others that, I tried to fit in but then I found out the real truth in about 3rd grade. When my mom told me that I was really black and white  I went and told my friends. Worst mistake of my life. I was in 3rd grade and labled as the biggest lier possible
Nothing made it better. […]
Right now, the only thing that’s keeping me alive is the fact that any kind of suicide attempt has a potentially devastating chance of failure. Pills, guns, jumping… everything terrifies me. I keep having flashes of how disastrously each kind of attempt could go, and I don’t have the courage to try any of them. I wish I was less scared of pain. I thought pills would work for a while. I thought sleeping pills would put you to sleep and then kill you gently in your sleep! Can you believe how naive I was? Then I read about how they make you puke, and […]
How the hell do you get a gun if you had a previous stay in a psych ward after a suicide attempt?
written by tupacorbiggie
How the fuck did letmesleep get his shotgun? Â I’d love to have a shotgun to blow my brains out with! Â ^_^
I’m desperate.
For excuses.
For reasons.
For encouragement.
Every night I have to convince myself not to do something drastic.
I have to look at myself in the mirror, and I have to lecture myself for so long just to tell myself not to cut, not to think terrible thoughts, not to attempt suicide, not to cry, not to do anything that harms myself.
I think I’m losing myself.
I’m not feeling as how I used to.
I can’t stay happy. I fake a smile when I’m in school.
But I don’t talk. People talk to me, and I nod as a sign that I’m listening. I’m done with talking.
I don’t know if I’m […]
Is there a method that will just look like a suicide attempt but I will wake up few days later in a hospital,after a few days of peaceful sleep?Sometimes I just think that failed suicide attempt is the only thing that will show me whether certain people still care about me…and if I would find out they do,maybe I would no longer want to kill my self and the terror would stop
tomorrow will mark one week since my 2nd suicide attempt. it’s weird to walk around knowing that no one else knew anything about it or suspected it. to them i’m some bubbly and happy person-it’s weird and leaves me with this eery feeling of loneliness
well a lively chat today. i was surprised that you had already read last nights post. and surprised that you would be offended by that surprise. seriously my cynicism has everything to do with my self loathing and not your personal or professional capabilities. my previous therapist never called me at the hut . and i know that i am just one of many that you see. i did notice by the way that you zinged me pretty good. yes i know that killing myself would leave a mess for others to clean up. both literally and figuratively. i also know that my family and […]
so back in october i made my first attempt and obviously failed but about a month ago i made plans for my second and now that’s in about 2 weeks. i feel really sick to say this but i’m excited. i’m sick and tired of this bullshit feeling and the only thing that gets me through the day is thinking “in a little bit it will all be over, you’ll be free” i know i should be thinking of everyone i’m going to leave but i’m so tired of living and being here that i could care less.
They listen, yet they dont hear. They think, yet they dont know. They hear my cry, yet they dont see my tears. So when I die, will they know I never lived?
ok so im noticing a fucking pattern.
every time a suicide attempt fails within a few days something good comes out of it.
with that ive been majorly depressed and tried commiting suicide the other night well no duh i failed.
go back to a year ago, i had a crush on my friend who had a girlfriend so i respected that and tried not to make this a big fucking deal…to late for that. my friend is really suicidal and last yr i always had my suicide notes/poems with me taped to my binder for school well he saw it and read it once he […]
* Note: This was a Message sent originally to the Church of Euthanasia. What I need Ãs, the Quick & the Death.
That’s why I am going to sent Mails to Multiple receivers.
Hello,
For long, long time I suffer { but I think that you have already heard this out of email-Messages more than once. }
I have started several Suicide-Roads [ means thinking and/or/nor preparing & planning for several suicide Methods on which I have resigned due to reasons. ], and have committed one suicide attempt by jumping in front of a Van approximately, roughly, 5 years ago which failed, most importantly because I was being watched and so […]
My Names Jade And This is My Story ……..Well , it all started when I was in 1st grade……yeah , early right? I was being bullied everyday , not like calling me names when they walk by , 12 boys everyday at recess , pushed me on the ground and kicked me and hit me and threw things at me ……i tried telling teachers , and they thought I was faking , my own cousin tried stopping it ….she would grab a teacher , and they didn’t care either , I brought my mom and my mom even saw the boys kick me and beat […]
okay so I just got on today and realiized that my friend has been using my account so I need to clear some stuff up. my name is jacqueline or jackie and this is MY account, i don’t have cancer. my friend has the same name as me (jacqueline) and she uses my account. she has the cancer which is like heartbreaking. and i just needed to clear that up, I on the otherhand was just realeased from the mental hospital cause of my suicide attempt. i just needed to get that all straitened out. and me and her are still going to share […]
   As I’ve spoken about in previous posts, I’ve had depression, anxiety and paranoid delusions for most of my life and it’s not easy to live with, especially the depression.
    For me, at 11 years old it began with a deep sadness that just never seemed to lift. It spiralled pretty quickly and I began to spend an awful lot of time alone in my bedroom. I felt as though I was the loneliest person in the world because nobody could really relate to what I was feeling. The thing that got to me most was that some people would say things like, “you’re […]
This has been such a bullshit day. I have no idea why I woke up in such mental pain…could it be the recent separation, the two kids that are grown and on opposite ends of the globe, the fact that my life is just completely fucked….Or maybe its hormones. A drug reaction to the antibiotics i’ve been on. No, I just wanna die. I have to wait until my daughter is out of college and I know she is happy or settled or something, so that she will have her own life situated and can go right back into her own life, after my death […]
This week has been a rough patch for me. Monday, I attempted suicide. At this moment I am sitting in a hospital bed. It smells like rubber gloves and the bed isn’t comfortable. The refuse to let me on my tumblr which consists of “too many triggers”. It’s apparently not healthy for me to be on there so often. Fuck that. Second of all, along with my whole suicide attempt, my arm has been revealed to my mom. My relapses over the past months are being thrown into her face. The cuts and raised scars I’ve hidden for so long are out in the open […]
I tried to kill myself a few months ago, and that’s not what worries me. What worries me is that I don’t think it was a legitimate suicide attempt. I think I knew those pills weren’t going to kill me. I’m too smart and manipulative for that. I think I deliberately hurt people for attention. Being alone and depressed and addicted to Tumblr, I didn’t know anything else I could do. Now I’ve lost any online friends that I once had and I’m going to explode from the bottled up emotions. I need to talk, I need to talk, I need to talk, but I […]
Hey guys and girls hows it going? I was on this site about a month ago after my suicide attempt. The reason i haven’t been on is because my lifes been pretty stagnant. I also admit to starting cutting on my last post. I stopped that for now, but I don’t know how much longer I can resist the allure of the blade. Even now it calls to me. It promises relief and salvation. I don’t know how much longer i can hold out before cutting again.