The demons are getting to me. They are all inside my head now and my body is getting drained more and more each day. The suicide fantasies and the warm feelings of ending my life are starting to flare up again. Medication is not working anymore either. I think I’m gonna have to go sometime soon. I have fought for long, but they are winning.
Tag:
Suicides
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
Imagination better than reality? Why Imagination is better than reality? Why is Imagination better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Imagination is better than reality?
Why is Imagination better than reality?
Why is fantasy better than reality? Why fantasy is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Interstellar, etc etc, they are much more interesting, full of POSSIBILITIES & varieties / variations, and better than reality / BORING reality […]
Dont let that Demon Suicide thought Zap you. I have found Talking or Asking for support helps heaps. I know its HARD trying to come out of Suicide Mode. But we Only live Once & Suicides a B*#$h
Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??
by niki
written by niki
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
Anyone who is interested in being part of a large movement to prevent teenage (and adult) suicides, please contact me.
I am looking for individuals to share their story on camera in order help others to overcome their problems and realize there is a reason for you to be alive!
Message me for more details please.
I am sick of the bullshit that people say to me about suicide. All are invalid or just something they say because they dont know what to say.
“it gets better” – are you personally guaranteeing that? in reality it can also and more likely get WORSE
“someone loves you stay alive for them” – If suicide is selfish isn’t demanding someone to stay for you despite their pain and misery even more selfish?
“suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” – unless of course the problem is permanent then the solution is perfect. I dont think a temporary solution for a permanent problem is very […]
“Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me: I quit!’â€
― Bill Maher
“When you’re young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.â€
― Marilyn Monroe, My Story
“We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire.â€
― George Sand, Mauprat
“What’s the big fucking deal? Lots of amazing people have committed suicide, and they turned out alright.â€
― Emilie Autumn
“I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.â€
― James Baldwin
“She […]
I have always been taught that patience is a virtue; that good things come to those who wait. I have lived on this Earth now for 18 years, I am still waiting.
My life so far has been… Gentle, in many ways. My familly are able to provide for me: I have food and a bed, I even have a little money of my own. They say that you can take a horse to water but that you cannot make him drink: though I have food I have no appetite, and though I have a bed I am rarely able to sleep. It seems to me […]
I just shouldn’t talk anymore. Whenever I say something, it’s always wrong. People laugh at me because of it and when I ask for them to stop they only laugh harder. I say things like ‘ I feel so stupid’ or ‘I’m such an idiot’ and people just smile and nod. I’m always yelled at for things I say or do. I feel like I need to do something like cut but I’m too scared to. I think they’ll find out and hurt me or send me to a therapist. I’m just so confused. I’m so alone. I’m just not okay anymore. I used to […]
My good, close (probably best) friend’s girlfriend killed herself in October 2011. She walked out in front of a train. After hearing about her death, I’ve become obsessed. Ive been researching her story, statistics of suicides by trains, and even just watching trains pass in my free time. I’m so desperate to know if this girl felt any pain, or if she died on impact. I want to know what was going through her head as she waited for the train, and what she was thinking as she walked out onto the tracks, knowing those would be her last steps. I want to know who […]
A girl who is unwanted.
A girl who’s shunned.
Where do I belong.
They tell me suicides not my only option.
But I can’t go anywhere else.
No one wants me and im already a burden enough.
I cant tell them how i feel inside.
I cant show them my scars and i cant show them my pain
Theyd never understand  and I don’t know how to explain it to them
They’ll lock me away.
I can’t tell them how my mind is now my prison. I can’t tell them how alone I feel even when im surrounded by so many people.
How no one wants to be near me.
How its impossible that anyone to love […]
I sure fooled them. I took that precious college diploma, that winning personality, those great looks and trashed them all right before their eyes. My brain is jelly from all the pills and “treatment”, I’m about as charming as a corpse, and the scars & torn hair make me look like one too. And soon I’ll just be one of those anonymous suicides that they won’t bother investigating because they have other things to do. If the gang could see me now.
There’s been a lot of suicides lately in my town. It brings back my own depression and having no one there to vent to, I am now turning to this site to let my frustation out. I’ve been lurking and I now feel strong enough to finally let everything out. I don’t think I’ve ever told my whole story, from birth to present times, in one sitting. So here I am, this is me, and this is my story.
My mother had trouble conceiving and after a miscarriage, I was born. I was her pride and joy. She wanted me to be perfect, like her; straight A’s, […]
I’ve gone through this site a bit.
I decided to join because it looks like there’s some hints of people succeeding.
I’ve never managed to complete an exit. I’ve tried to overdose, and hang myself, but somewhere along the way I get scared- I text someone I know in the back of my mind will come, or call someone who will. Someone who will talk me out of it and take care of me for a while.
Last time I overdosed I was  stuck in kid mode. For a month my boyfriend got me dressed in the morning, made me eat breakfast, walked me to my lectures to […]
“We Only Arrive At Ourselves In A Freely Chosen Death” Jean Améry
by Bodhisattva
written by Bodhisattva
“I have tried to view it from the interior of those who call themselves suicidal or suicidesâ€.
( Words from Jean Améry )
I just wanted to recommend this book which i know will be of interest to many of you,
I have found it quite difficult & frustrating to find serious, intelligent & quality critiques or books on other point’s of view about Suicide & this subject overall, as all i keep becoming drowned in is only the fucking Utilitarianism & Christian Inspired Philosophy which is very annoying & frustrating,
Anyway i hope some of you will check it […]
Ever since I can remember I’ve been alone. When I was a baby my dad left and I’ve never met him, my so called mum wanted to give me to foster care but my nanna stepped in and took me in. My poppa mostly ignored me when I was growing up and he and my Nanna divorced when I was 10. I lived with my Nanna for a year. When we were living together she started a relationship with this guy and all I remember is her telling me it had ended with him because I was a bad kid. Then she sent me to live […]
I think ive cracked something, infact I know I have . As most people know men are extremely more likely to commit suicide than women. I read that 80% of suicides are men and 74% of the time it is white males.
I wonder how much this ratio has to do with the relationship between men and women sexually and love wise. black men are generally wanted more.
women are extremely personal in my experience and really quite unforgiving on the large.
They dont really give mankind much (no offence) obviously this is a generalisation, but women are usually difficult to please and for men suffering and in bad places they really do have […]
I have had 3 suicides in my life. My father , his father, and then my uncle. I was only 8 at the time. It has effected me in every single way. I was in depression.. I used to have a severe phobia of dying and i will admit i also used to have suicidal thoughts, but I found something that I hang on to and that is helping people. I try to show people the light when they are consumed in darkness. I am everyones friend no matter what anyone went through or whatever mistakes they’ve made. I dont shut people out because I […]
I want to erase myself. not kill myself, but erase myself, I feel empty. I wish my parents would never have given birth to me. I don’t want to be a memory I want to dissappear. To have never existed.
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