Im not gonna try to post something extremely witty and dark and intellectual and poetic.. i just cant sleep again and im hoping that posting this will clear my mind and i could get some advice from people who possibly feel the same way as me. I could list every terrible thing thats ever happened to me and all the times ive tried to kill myself and all the addictions ive had but thatd take too long and im tired and lazy. So basically, im depressed, im bipolar, im insecure, im lonely, and i feel like nobody cares about me apart from my immediate family. […]
Tag:
Surgeries
The real world isn’t rainbows and sparkles.
It’s not always fun and rarely easy.
Honestly its far from easy or fun.
It’s cruel and brutal,
Cold and heartless,
Unforgiving and dark,
Depressing and awful,
Bitchy and duechey,
Pointless and crazy,
And so are the people in the fucked up world.
Its full of the terrible people,
people that feed off your pain,
they will do anything to make you suffer.
People are vile and cruel.
They will do anything to make you miserable.
Some days they are going to win,
but some day they will lose and you will realize how strong you are.
Im 18, in November of 2012 I was in a bad car accident. I had a head on collision with a tree, as a result i mangled my leg and have and face several surgeries and a year and half of recovery. This isnt the first time ive felt like ending it all im a ex drug and alcohol abuser. After my accident I thought id have people there for me, but the people I call friends have forgotten bout me. Mostly because I cant and don’t want to party anymore, sometimes I wish I had just died that night. Recently ive also found out the sports I love That I can no longer play. I just feel lost im dabbling in drugs and alcohol again just […]
How do you really tell someone you’re in pain without it bothering them? Without making them feel useless for not being to help you? Normal activities will only take you so far. Should I return to pointlessly opening my flesh? How many OD’s til I get it right? When will this spit stay in my mouth? When will my body stop aborting itself? I don’t want to kick and thrash anymore. I don’t want to freeze in one state for minutes on end. I want my old life back. When I was a humorous person to be around, when I would laugh at myself even. […]
ok so i thought i just put everything bout my family in one post.
My dad: drug addict. been high for bout 30 years, off pain killers from his multiple surgeries. when he has been off i can tell cuz he is nice i know when he is taking them cuz his patience is screwed over and he is a dick. he has depression also.
My mom: is an assumer she will never listen to me i will be in the middle of a sentence and she automatically thinks the worst case scenerio. causing ***** fight after ***** fight. when she is stressed she turns […]
Where do i even begin? I am 18 years old and i lost the people who pretty much raised me at a young age and developed depression before i had hit the third grade. Then i found out i had cancer, ive been fighting that for almost a year now and ive gone through so many surgeries and dont know what to say about it. But the weight of the sickness and the looming thought of dying and just having peace finally is so enticing i long for it. But then seven months ago i met the most amazing person i k.ow the person thats […]
You know, it really stinks to watch people struggle and fight to live for almost a year, only to be told that they are too “weak” to handle any more surgeries and die. It’s hard to watch their family try to cope with such a traumatic loss while being supported by thousands of caring people. Every person you lose, it feels like you lose part of yourself.
Rest in peace, Sgt. Jarboe.
“If you ain’t Cav, you ain’t shit!”
Don’t really know how to begin, but know I want my pain to end. Kinda ironic, looking for an ending before a beginning. At almost 52 I have been a freaking caretaker my entire life, taking no care of myself, just everyone else. Alcoholic father, died 26 years sober…not bad! Molested as a child, by a brother and watched my sister being molested, which she denies. Found out in my forties he molested my other brother, too.  Lived with my molester as an adult, as my sister moved home when her 1st husband died with her 2 sons, (she has 3 and they are […]
First and foremost, Happy New Year everyone, though it seems that some of you here have had/are having a crappy time.
I’m new here, name’s Aki. I stumbled upon this site a few months/years back, but never registered. Got put off by the seeming anti suicide I was reading on here at that time (I think, I don’t know. I’ve gone through a lot of suicide sites). I’m not known or anything, but I do lurk around other sites, though they’re mostly pro. Anyways.
Here’s a brief summary of my attempted suicide history.
Started thinking about it when I was nine years old, then went through the whole emo […]