the aftermath of what he has done

it doesn’t get any less unsettling.  it’s just as disturbing as the first time i experienced it.

hands.  hands that aren’t there.  gripping my neck, my shoulders, my face.

the feeling of someone standing directly behind me.  i feel their breath on the back of my neck.  i can feel their eyes on me, an unforgiving gaze.

but there’s nobody there.  nobody is ever there.

sometimes, things he said replay faintly.  but there is no noise.  the room is quiet.  i am alone.

but he’s still here, watching me.  suffocating me.  controlling me.

he still, in some way, has managed to lay his hands on me.  he never did, he was […]