Do any of y’all ever get excited about the planning as well as the aftermath considering your suicide?
I get excited. I am excited. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am.
… In one more month…
And yet I feel guilty for feeling this.
Please offer me some opinions about this.
I’ve never had that great of a time living; abusive parents, bullied, a serious disability that makes life pretty hard in general and lot other things i’d rather not mention.
When i was younger i would consider killing myself every once in a while, but i was too afraid to actually do so. And If it weren’t for my fear of the outcome, i probably would have done it by now.
I’m too afraid of what the aftermath of my actions would be rather than actually dying itself. What people would do, what they would think of me, and what they might say worried me too much.
Of […]
Last night I got so incredibly drunk.
I was so drunk. I haven’t gotten like that in a while .
i still feel the aftermath now . And I’m going to work I feel like absolute shit .
but last night I was driving home an I wanted to go 100 mph and crash my car into something . I was so sad.
i get so angry and confused and sad.
im going crazy. I’m so tired
I guess the only thing holding me back is the curious fear I have of whats next. Is there a heaven like all our grandparents say? Or is there just black nothing? Will I linger and watch the aftermath, because that just might be worse. To watch all the ones I love suffer…. but at the same time living is a burden to them. I don’t know….what do you guys think happens when we are set free?
Fuck….I don’t even remember lastnight. Only woke up an hour before work, suffered through, now I’m home in the dark silence trying to feel better. Getting drunk off my ass was fun and all, but I’m not enjoying the aftermath
Thinking about my perfect heaven…
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