A while back, maybe a couple months ago, I learned that my younger brother has had suicidal thoughts. He doesn’t know I know that. I found a few discarded journal pages lying around while cleaning up the spare room I’m staying in. I don’t know if this is a current thing or not but it scares the hell out of me. Not even for the obvious reason of him harming himself in any way, because I’m almost positive he wouldn’t. It’s because now I don’t know how badly it would affect everyone when I do finally kill myself, and the last thing I want in the world is for anyone, let alone him, to follow me. I feel incredibly trapped. I wish there was a way for me to die and for my family to feel happy for me, but that’s completely ridiculous. I hope he’ll be doing ok when I finally go through with it. I don’t want to hurt anyone.